Annoy a liberal: put a stupid sticker on your car

[Shodan]

@Priceguy

This was actually funny. What, may I ask, was the original quote?

I believe it referred specifically to government.

“Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end, and no sense of responsibility at the other.” Attributed to him, at least.

Or another good one -

@Ronald Reagan

How do you tell a Communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. How do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.

Or the classic -

Why do liberals condemn conservatives? Because conservatives are mean-spirited, hard-hearted bastards.

Why do conservatives condemn liberals? Because conservatives are mean-spirited, hard-hearted bastards.

Regards,
Shodan

[koeeoaddi]

@ElvisL1ves

And a liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested.

…and a libertarian is a liberal who’s been audited.

[Balle_M]

Liberals: Spending Other People’s Money Since 1932.

[Little_Nemo]

A Liberal believes that an ideal government would fix every problem.
A Conservative believes that an ideal government would fix his problems.

[ivylass]

Liberalism: Appeasing dictators and despots since the Cold War.

[Maeglin]

@ivylass

Liberalism: Appeasing dictators and despots since the Cold War.

Good one.

Conservatives: Appeasing dictators and despots since before the Cold War.

[vetbridge]

My old bumper sticker seemed to offend all equally. It read, Stupid People Shouldn’t Breed. Used to get many nasty stares. Stares were fine, as long as they didn’t breed.

[mhendo]

@Maeglin

Good one.

Conservatives: Appeasing dictators and despots since before the Cold War.

Actually, i’d amend that:

Change “Appeasing…” to “Actively aiding and supporting…”

Although, to be fair, this has been a rather bipartisan aspect of American foreign policy.

[Giraffe]

I’d really like to see Jesus was a liberal bumper stickers. Cause he, you know, was.

[mhendo]

@Giraffe

I’d really like to see Jesus was a liberal bumper stickers. Cause he, you know, was.

Ask, and you shall receive.

[Giraffe]

@mhendo

Ask, and you shall receive.

For those who don’t feel like clicking, it reads Jesus was a liberal Jew. I don’t know, it doesn’t have as much punch to me. I’d prefer to focus purely on his liberalism, since liberal has become such a dirty word to a lot of very pro-Jesus people.

[elucidator]

Beg to differ. The Boss was a radical.

[tdn]

@elucidator

Beg to differ. The Boss was a radical.

I thought that The Boss was a rock musician.

[elucidator]

Sit at my feet, little one, and I will bestow wisdom. With an occassional dollop of bullshit, just so it doesn’t get dull.

[Lathe_of_Heaven]

@Giraffe

For those who don’t feel like clicking, it reads Jesus was a liberal Jew. I don’t know, it doesn’t have as much punch to me. I’d prefer to focus purely on his liberalism, since liberal has become such a dirty word to a lot of very pro-Jesus people.

Okay, then how about this one?

[Giraffe]

@Lathe of Heaven

Okay, then how about this one?

Well, there you have it. Moments after I speak, the Internet turns my wisdom into reality. Truly, I am a god.

[Ludovic]

Well, Jesus would probably be a liberal if he were teleported to America. But moreover, he would be a leftist: although his views would be more centrist than the liberal label would suggest, he would nonetheless prefer to tweak conservatives more than liberals.

[elucidator]

Good ol’ Northern Sun! Even if you don’t want to buy anything, send them some money anyway.

Anyway…

A liberal wants to eliminate all injustice. A conservative is more selective.

[sturmhauke]

@Giraffe

For those who don’t feel like clicking, it reads Jesus was a liberal Jew. I don’t know, it doesn’t have as much punch to me. I’d prefer to focus purely on his liberalism, since liberal has become such a dirty word to a lot of very pro-Jesus people.

JESUS is f’ing METAL

[Bryan_Ekers]

I thought this up on the way to work:

Liberal Utopia: No smoking, no joking.
Conservative Utopia: No drinking, no thinking.