Tribble (as in, “Trouble With…”) waits for me to come home, runs to the shower, stands on the edge of the tub and meows at me until I go turn on the tap… just a trickle. And then she stands there meowing at me for I don’t know what. I think she finally drinks after I leave the room, but the other cat won’t rat her out, so I’m not sure.
Got Milk? (that’s his real name), stands in the tub, while Tribble is screaming her furry head off, patiently waiting for the water to come on. When it does, he drinks. Then he jumps out and sticks his head in the toilet. Then he plays with the toilet water for a while. Then we walks all over the toilet seat, leaving little paw-shaped puddles all over it. I usually discover this when I get up in the middle of the night to pee and my ass gets all wet.
Tribble also bites people. Those people call her “Bitch Kitty.” Which is accurate.
Tribble stands on the kitchen counter, whenever a bi-ped walks in, and screams for treats. If you don’t open the bag fast enough, she’ll try to swat it out of your hand.
Both cats stand vigil whenever anyone eats cereal. They’ll swat the spoon out of your hand, to get you to give them the leftover milk.
Disclaimer: Cat-dislikers and Cat-haters will be happy to know that there is justice for these wayward beasts. Dogzilla (IRL) is a very busy Boston Terror (as in “holy”) and likes to stalk and pounce on random cats as they cross her path. She tends to roll Got Milk? on his back and nips at his butt and his belly. Then she holds his head in her mouth to make sure he understands who really runs the house. It’s the only time he meows: When his head is soaking wet with dog saliva.
I can’t stand cats at all. I think they smell up a house with their shit inside the litter box!
I went over a friends house, he has 7 cats!!! As soon as you open the door and walk in you smell nothing but cat ass and piss all about the house. What’s next? People are going to own Mountain Lions and have monstruous mounds of lion shit all over their houses? Any animal that shits inside a house is O.U.T.!!!
It’s that friggin simple! A dog, if he or she, shits in the house, their asses are taught REAL fast on how to go to the door to take a shit outside, not the pretentious tempermental cat I might add who enjoys smelling up the whole house.
Sorry cat lovers but dogs always were and always will be A Man’s Best Friend till the end.
Question:
Why are there no cats at all seen around Chinese Food restaurants? Riddle me that Batman!!
Confucious say That which shits in house will eventually be shitting 20 miles away!!!
Love always,
The animal lover. A Dog is the best!!! Spell it backwards!!!
Buffy for some reason insists on licking the bathtub drain. Lord knows why.
Misty likes to come into my room at night before I go to bed. When I take her to bed with me, she insists on plopping her ten pounds of fur directly on my hip. Dammit, Mit, you’re deadweight! The other night she tried to sleep-ON MY NECK. Mit, it was cute when you were a little kitten. But not anymore. I don’t want to suffocate! (She used to sleep on my dad’s neck every night when she was a baby).
Noel has a thing for licking plastic. Anything like shrink wrap or cellophane. She has to lick it. And if you take it off of her, she gets pissed.
Gypsy does NOT like to be held. In fact, she hates and growls like a banshee set on fire.
My cat shits inside because he is not allowed to go outside. I guarantee that if a dog was not permitted to go outside it too would shit inside. He shits in the proper receptacle which I clean regularly to make sure it is not too putrid for him to be comfortable using it. I shit inside in the proper receptacle for my species as well. Would you like to beat me or send me 20 miles away
Your racist comments are not welcome here.
You are a daehtihs, spell it backwards!!! (then find the correct receptacle for your species and flush yourself until you stop floating)
Sometimes I go over to my friend’s house… she has 15 cats! Most of them are all right, but there was this one time that one of them was sick, and pooped all over my friend’s bed! Needless to say, that was NOT the best time for my friend, who after she had to strip her bed and immediately put the sheets and such in the laundry, had to go lie down on her brother’s bed instead! And yes, the cats are allowed to go outside… I know of at least one time when one of them has been “at large” in the neighborhood for at least a coupld of days!
For the record, I happen to like cats… I would have one, but my apartment doesn’t allow pets. Actually, come to think of it, most apartments here don’t. My family never had a cat or a dog because my sibs are/were allergic to cat and dog dander! (among other things like grass and dirt)
This site talks about avoiding litter box problems as does this recent thread if you are interested Flamsterette_X.
None of that means that cepter is not an annoying little git, my post was not stating that cats never miss the box but that, well, cepter is an annoying little git
Can you spell ASSHOLE FORWARDS and BACKWARDS cause thats what you are.
How pathetic a scene it must be to watch you clean up your pussy’s little nuggets in the litter box!!!
Who the fuck is in charge you or the cat? What type of mental patient adores a pet to the point of constantly cleaning out his or her litter box? Friggin’ playcating to THEM.
Nice. You’re hanging out on the couch, you look over at the cat, you call his/her name and they look at you like DeNiro, “Are you talkin’ to me?” That’s right! They could give a shit about you when you want attention or you want to give them attention.
If thats not enough you have to be a constant audience to the cat constantly flashin’ his/her fuckin “Brown-eye asshole” at you and whoever is around.
Pussy’s own Pussy’s that’s what it comes down to! If your a guy and you LOVE cats you ought to check your balls at the door when entering any male establishment in the future!!
Oh Farkle… Being that this is the BBQ pit did I also tell you to go fuck yourself as well?
I do love Pussy Galore:rolleyes:
cepter, my cats think you suck. Really. I think you’re just a whiny little shitball, but that’s beside the point.
And, cepter, before you go into any male establishment, check your balls at the door. If you can find them. It’s been my experience that guys who piss and moan about how they hate cats and cat owners (or any particular pets, for that matter) are generally insecure posing little boys, who probably have nads roughly the size of a fieldmouse.
Go see a doctor about your undoubtably substandard package, and be nice to the kitties, damnit!
[/hijack]
Anyhow, one of our cats, Bill, aka Wilhelm, aka Schweinhund has the charming habit of cramming his head into our armpits if we pet him. I think it’s hilariously twisted. Mrs. Smegma is not amused.
When we get visitors, we have to warn them that Bill is a very evil boy. He has a habit of being terrifically friendly to newcomers, purring, responding wonderfully to being petted (sans the Armpit Dive™ on newcomers) and then, when everything appears groovy, hissing in their faces and generally scaring hell out of them (he’s a 20 pound, but not at all fat, tabby). Most people , when warned of this possible behavior, opt out of having him in their laps, until they’ve been over a few times (he only does this to “fresh meat”).
Uh huh… and your own too obvious lack of eloquence coupled with your professed hatred of cats makes you seem so… masculine and… desirable.
Take me now, you mad fiend. :rolleyes:
My cats do very little that I find irritating… except in the middle of the night, when they go up the stairs… down the stairs… up the stairs… down the stairs. Kitty. Basement. Goooooood kitty Oh, and the hairballs. Of course.
First, and most annoying, is that she will get into my lap, go to sleep and then let a silent-but-deadly fart. Makes me want to go open all the doors and windows. I have no idea who taught her that one.
Second, if nobody will play with her and throw her toys for her so she can retrieve them, (yes, just like a dog does) she throws them herself. She gets the toy in her mouth and tosses it over her head. Then she goes and gets it and does it again. The problem is that the only time she does this is in the middle of the night.
I guess I can forgive her though. She is still less than a year old.
I’m sitting here reading this thread with a lapful of warm, purring love, feeling sorry for Cepter, who seems to really be in need of someone to love him. My house has two cats in it, and doesn’t smell of cat urine or feces in the least. The only annoying thing my cats do is try to kill me on the stairs and ALWAYS jump the wrong way when I’m trying to walk past them (as in, into my path, instead of out of it). My two girls are wonderful, clean, fun, happy little beasties, who dote on me like I dote on them.
Plunket is a street cat who has kept his street ways. He was fixed (or-- if we could ask him-- broken) over a month ago. This has not hampered his humping one iota. He has made the quilt on my bed his bitch.
He likes socks. Just to carry around. Everyone must watch their socks when getting dressed because he will steal one and walk around the house, sock in mouth, as if this is how all cats walk around the house.
But the most annoying thing he does is climb on the bathroom sink and rub against the toothbrushes with his face. He’ll hiss at you if you try to pet him, but the toothbrushes? Minty fresh and oh-so-soothing.
Hrrm, my current cat (granted my parents have him, but he’s still mine) Brechin [I never actually learned how to spell his name… its Scotish I know that much] is an angel kitty.
He doesn’t like anything but dry cat food. He’s never coughed up a hairball in 3 years. Doesn’t scratch at doors (granted I have a kitty door installed for my bedroom which takes care of all of the problems nicely) doesn’t smell. (After a year of living the dorms away at college I couldn’t smell the damn cat until he was inches from my face) Rarely if ever bites or claws, you REALLY have to annoy him and ignore being hissed at. Is scared of strangers, so he doesn’t bother house guests.
He does however run into open closets and tends to get closed in there, but he meows to be let out. He likes to sit on the upper back deck and watch the world go by, but he’s afraid of heights so he stays will away from the edge.
About the only annoying thing he does is at night. While we go to sleep he likes to lie down next to either me or my parents (me if I’m home, if not my parents) until we’re asleep then goes to prowl the house. About once a week he’ll want to cuddle, and I mean cuddle paws around your neck, licking the inside of your elbow. About 3 times a month he’ll want to play, especially if you go to bed after 3 am, he’ll bring a toy onto the bed and drop it on your face.
Regina has the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen on a cat. This gives her the tendancy to look at you as if she is not only questioning your actions but your sanity as well. She will “put up” her bites of table scaps and go steal from her brothers. I know it is a typical cat behavior, but damn it is annoying having to remove her from the room so Mackey (her bro’ and littermate) can have his bites. Reg also gets needy and suckles on Jake (the oldest male)I giggled myself silly the first time I saw it, but now it is just pittiful. Wish me luck breaking her of this habit.
Mackey, opens his mouth and emmits no sound, usualy it is a request, such as for attention or food. Ug, my cat is a mime. At night, he wants to sleep on my face or lay on my arm All Damn Night He also does the affore mentioned pillow thievery. Pain in the ass putting an extra pillow on my bed for a damn cat!
Jake sits on the stool in the kitchen and assists in cooking. Usualy this is accomplished by clawing you in the back. Who ever comes in the house must be inspected. He is a great user of his Johnsons gland ( on the roof of the mouth, used to combine smell and taste) so it looks like he is giving a grimicing opinion of your personal odor.
All three of them will get a case of the night time crazies. I guess this is from having all that pent up energy. How is it that 3 cats, usually quiet as a mouse can sound like a damn heard of buffalo at 2 a.m.?
They all are also members in good standing of the FALL. Feline Anti-Literacy League. These cats will sit on your newspaper, block your view of the book, Knock the pencil out of your hand, Climb the keyboard while you’re using it, or generaly be a pest while you are * ignoring* them by paying attention to paper or words. Personaly, I believe this is because they want to keep the Human Race stupid. If we get too educated we will see beyond thier meager (but cute) guise. We will all rise up and stand on our own, rejecting thier horrible alien enslavement
Oh, and the hairballs. Of course.