…and I’d always thought he was on the Pommel Horse.
well I can but quite frankly, I prefer to use the term arsehole as I am an Australian and an ass is a donkey to me. You also are an ass.
You have heard of me then? I am actually a mental patient (though use the term consumer, have been for years, I have also made quite a good living out of writing about it and working with services towards improvement. In fact I am a world famous nutcase. If you ever get binned there is a vary good chance the staff putting you in restraints have read my stuff. I do not find anything shameful in this nor do I think it in anyway relates to my taking care of my pet. I have always cleaned up after my dogs too, believe me, scooping cat litter is a hell of a lot easier than trying to get a huge labrador turd into a bag and find a bin for it.
Actually, my kitten is probably already on my shoulder, it is where he most likes to be. However, I would not blame any creature for not wanting to come near you. Quite understandable given the personality you are exhibiting here.
[quote]
** Pussy’s own Pussy’s that’s what it comes down to! If your a guy and you LOVE cats you ought to check your balls at the door when entering any male establishment in the future!!**
[quote]
Now that leaves me in a quandry, I am a butch lesbian who loves my cat. I rarely go to any male establishments. I have no balls and as of next week neither will my kitten. I have no idea of what to do with your statement, I know, I shall be thinking of you with pleasure at the time of his operation after consulting my voodoo priestess and trying to infer voodoo doll status on his testicles. I shall also ask her to help you out with your spelling and perhaps try to help you see that
from your OP is a racist statement and that is what I called you on, you gormless pillock.
Now go away, I will not continue to have a battle of wits with the unarmed.
javaman, either/or, it’s a pathetic state of being for such an obvious little wanker. Imagine being doomed to a life of relentless masturbation. With tweezers and a magnifying glass. Oh, the humanity! :eek:
ceptor, Misty just requested that you lick her kitty box.
…and consciously ignore a certain goat-smellin’, mouse-nuts-havin’, semi-literate racist sumbitch…
We can’t wait to get a cat. My daughter and I moved a lot when I was still Air Force–17 times in 20 years (OK, some of that pre-dates my 11-yo). We’ve had Cheyenne the Wonder Dog for 10 years, but no cats. Now we’re civilians at last, living out in the country, and it’s time for a gato. We’re taking our time, waiting for just the right one, because pets in our family are family members, as it appears is true of most of the other posters in this thread (other than certain nameless, insecure, puss-sucking coprophilic cretins). Our new cat must be:
- A lap cat, not an aloof one. My daughter insists she must be able to cuddle it whenever she wants.
- A good mouser. Living in the sticks, we get cute little mice in the basement every winter. My daughter won’t allow (I guess you know who runs things) mousetraps, so we capture them in those little “humane traps” and take them into the pasture. A week later, we repeat with the same mice. Apparently, murder by cat is acceptable, since it’s part of nature’s way.
- Medium-to-long haired, and either a tuxedo or calico. Or solid. Tabb’ys probably OK. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t rule out much, but I do not question my Boss.
- Saved from the chopping block. It’s our habit to obtain pets from humane agencies. I’ve been to the local one, and the main difficulty is going to be getting my daughter out of there with only one cat.
Don’t exactly know why I went into so much length above, but I guess we’re just getting anxious. If I had a clear point, it was probably that we’re looking forward to most of the stuff you all report as annoying. Plus, I wanted to tell Eve that I’ve been laughing since last night about “playing the cello.” I’d never hear the term before, but it’s perfect.
Wisest, may I suggest "The Verminator 
" as your new kitty’s name?
I like it. I’ll bounce it off the Council of Younger and see if she likes it. Actually, I was thinking the whole “name the cat” thing would make a decent thread once we obtain the cat and learn a little about it. Unless it’s a boring cat, in which case it’d be an orphaned thread.
I feel the love you all have given me in your replies…I Love you all as well!!! Tremendously, yes even you The Dike broad hangin’ in Australia.
I haven’t been on this site it seems like eternity yet I miss you all so much. Spread the love and joy.
C’mon cat lovers I CAN’T Go AWAY… I’ll miss you all too much!!!
Chaio for now fucker’s… I shall return,…with a big mammoth fucking Great Dane and Pitbull to devour your feline friends for lunch!!! Big hugs!!!
I used to have a cat (the one that made patches run away)
leary, and he used to blackmail me to get his way. If i were pooring his food and the bag got empty and he could tell, he would first go check the other bowl of catfood he had in my room and if it was empty, he would knock my books and movies off the shelf, and look right at me and pee on the floor. one time my brother stopped feeding him in his room( leary had food in the kitchen and my room) and he started pooping my brother’ s bed UNDER The cover!
my other cat jaedee, scratches constantly at one door to get in, then when you don’t let her she goes to the other one, then gets in the windows and scratches on on it. and she also thinks anything in a can is for her… one time my father opened a can of fruit cocktail and ate it in front of her and she stared at him with wide eys the whole time… and another cat we had, monster, used to grab my fork with his paw while I was eating and pull it to his mouth.
Who was that masked putz?
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread (I was going to show it to my daughter until a certain person’s language brought the tone of the whole thread down). But I really enjoyed reading about the things some people’s cats did - here was me thinking mine were unique. They do many of the things already described, but I am going to bore you with them anyway.
I have two cats - Lucy (15) and Cassie (10). They are both tortoiseshell and white (I think you call these ‘calicos’ in the US). Cass is a ‘dilute’ tortoiseshell, which means that where Lucy has black fur, Cassie’s is grey and where Lucy has orange fur, Cassie’s is a sort of fawn colour. Very pretty - even her ‘white’ is a cream colour. We call Lucy the smartest cat in the world, Cass is the sweetest.
Lucy knows when I am going to be cutting up fresh meat - she only has to hear me getting a certain knife out of the drawer, or the cutting board out of the cupboard - this is before I have even gotten the meat out of the fridge - and she is up on the bench waiting for the morsels I have to give her. I sometimes have to shut her outside so her little nose doesn’t get cut off while I am trying to cut up the meat.
If you try to read a newspaper at the kitchen bench, she will come and sit on the paper. You have to sit in a chair and hold the newspaper if you want to read it.
Cass loves licking a water trickle in the bath. She will jump in the bath and meow until you turn the tap on. She thinks sitting either right in front of the computer monitor or on the keyboard itself is a good place to be. When we watch TV, she sits on the arm of the chair or on the cushion behind your head. Lately she has decided that sitting next to you (where there is really not enough room between you and the chair arm) is a desirable place to be - at least for a minute or two after making a production about fitting herself in the very small space there for the previous five or more minutes. She loves playing with the light from a torch (flashlight?) and trying to catch the spot on the carpet.
Anyway, I love my cats, even if Lucy is getting old and senile and has kidney problems which make her drink gallons of water a day then produce gallons of wee - luckily most times in her litter tray, but she sometimes misses, and she also has a thyroid problem which we have to medicate with a pill twice a day which makes her eat like a horse, but she’s skinny as a rake - so guess what happens to most of that food. Cass has a delicate stomach and throws up at the drop of a hat. Makes you wonder sometimes why you bother … but I know why I do.
Who cares?
The Amazing Velcro Cat has a really neat trick. Every night, I get into bed, right in the middle of the bed and, after a couple of minutes when I’m settled, Velcro jumps up on the bed, lies down near my feet and goes to sleep. Me in the middle of the bed, him on the side.
Yet, by morning, the cat will be sprawled in the exact centre of the bed and I’ll be right on the edge. How the hell does a skinny cat move me without waking me up? And why can’t he understand that it’s my bed, I paid for it, I deserve the comfy spot in the middle!
My lil Willow is absolutely adorable. I love her a great deal. However, she has some very annoying habits.
The most comfortable position for me when I’m laying down is to lay on my right side. As a consequence, Willow regularly lays on my shoulder and breast. Thus rendering me immobile. Sometimes she wants to be pet…sometimes not. You better know which time is which though, of you will be in a world of hurt.
She also must have attention in the middle of the night. This means jumping on mine (or my husband’s chest) and looking right in our face and yowling as loudly as possible. Until we wake up, at which point, she no longer wants us.
When the alarm goes off, she must yowl again. So I hit snooze on the alarm, but it does no good because now she’s sitting on top of us again screaming like someone is trying to murder her.
She also insists on sitting/laying on Jaime every chance she gets. This is annoying to me, because I like to cuddle with Jaime. She hates me, I think, because I’m competition.
We figured that she’s so much fun, we might as well get a couple more. So, she’s tortoiseshell colored, the one from the shelter is a calico, and the other one we’re getting is a grey calico. Very pretty…i hope thye all get along.
(after all this poor thread’s been through, yet)
Eggles and Pepperlandgirl, our two cats sound just like yours (fur-wise, that is); Max is a black and orange torti, and Feather is a grey and peach torti (called “Blue and Cream” here in Canada, but she isn’t blue and cream; she’s grey and peach, dangit). Their personalities are like night and day, though - Max is a little spitfire who loves to be carried around by Daddy, and Feather is the sweetest cat ever, who can’t stand to be picked up.
(Is it just me, or could most of the annoying things posted here be solved by kicking the cats out of the bedroom at night? :))
I have a blond tabby cat. Blondie’s turning 5 this year and we’ve had her since she was 2. Love her to death.
She’s a cute, adorable cat most of the time. Until 5:00 this morning, when she went on her extremely loud rampage. I leave my bedroom door cracked open at night to let light and air from the hallway in. She slammed the door open, sprinted over to the door that leads from my bedroom to our driveway, slid between the closed curtains and the door, and starting yowling and hissing at something. After ten minutes of listening to this, I threw Blondie out of the bedroom and closed the door. Apparently, she went to all the other windows of the house and meowed from there.
Some new neighborhood cats have started wandering around our house, so I hope that’s what she was looking at. If she does it again, though, she’s sleeping in the laundry room. I wanted my sleep, dammit!
She does also have an annoying tendency to sleep right on the center of my back at night. I can’t reach her very well in that spot and I can’t move. Makes my back hurt after awhile. Otherwise, she’s a really calm cat.
jessica
In my long list of annoying things Kaboodle does I forgot his best trick.
Should he wander away to eat or litter box or just to stare out a different window and I move to another room while he is gone he does not come looking for me, he starts meowing. This does not stop until I make noise that indicates my location. Kitty sonar.
I have two cats, both rescued from elsewhere. Both ladies, both more beautiful than brainy.
The tuxedo cat is prone to nudging things like keys, batteries, or other shiny things off of high places. She also walks the railing on the front porch, back and forth, making sure she’s in sight of the Akita next door, who works himself into a murderous rage at the sight of it. Poor thing.
The Himalayan cross is a newspaper-sitter, and could be used as an alarm clock should mine ever break…she requests breakfast at 7. As long as I’m up by then, there’s no problem.
Saw a good movie line from a cat, in Stuart Little:
Snowbell: (dismissively) “Talk to the butt.”
Featherlou - I wonder if there is a genetic link between the personality of the ‘normal’ tortie and white (smart and sassy) and the sweet nature of the ‘grey and peach’ - and if that isn’t just the nicest way I have heard of describing their colouring.
And Farkle - my Lucy does exactly the same thing - if she doesn’t know where I am in the house, she will stand in the middle of the hall and yowl till I let her know I am around.
And Featherlou - I think you’ve hit the nail on the head about the solution to annoying things cats do - DON’T LET THEM IN YOUR BEDROOM AT NIGHT! Simple.
You are in Melbourne, you know how cold winter nights get, who can afford to feed a cat and run an electric blanket or overnight heating? It is just being thrifty and ecologically aware to boot. Save energy, sleep with your cat! 
Lucy sounds great.
'Tis one of life’s great pleasures to have a warm kitten snuggle with you in the night. It would be a minor crime against Goodness and Decency to lock the cat out of the bedroom at night.
Anyway, I’d rather put up with the daily 5 AM Parade Across the Monkey’s Heads While Blerting Loudly than listen to scratching at the door all night long.