I’m sorry and it’s okay to grieve and if you call it self-pity, that’s okay, too.
You have my good thoughts, willing you comfort and strength.
If you need to talk, e-mail me…II work high-risk labor and delivery as an RN and I lost my first child nearly 20 years ago. My heart goes out to you and the families whose hearts are burdened like mine.
I’m so sorry, SIC. 
I hope you and your loved ones have happier times soon.
Sad news. I hope you can find a way, such as a service or a ritual, to honor the child you have lost.
my thoughts are with you, s.i.c…don’t give up hope!!!