This is the third in a year and a half. I went to the doc 2 weeks ago at 9 weeks and everything was perfectly fine. This morning I woke up feeling a little crampy but nothing major. Noticed spotting around lunchtime, called and got an appointment for this afternoon, and a sonar confirmed there’s no heartbeat, and an HGC test showed that it’s dropped to the point there’s no chance it’s a viable preganacy.
On top of this, my husband is out of town for another week. I can’t seem fall asleep, and I’m really just sad and looking for hugs or good thoughts, or something.
Smashed Ice Cream
If (probably long distance) hugs and good thoughts are what you need, that’s what I’m sending your way.
It really stinks to have to deal with something like that on your own. Please, if possible, as soon as it’s late enough, call a friend. Ask them if they can come over, or if you can go over there. Don’t be afraid to say to someone, IRL, “I need you right now.”
Smashed Ice Cream, I’m sorry to hear your news. I agree, call a friend, have someone with you to give you hugs. All I can do is this poor substitute:
{{{{{Smashed Ice Cream}}}}}
I’m so sorry SIC. I remember you posting in one of the expecting threads and you seemed so excited, so I can’t imagine how sad and dissapointed you must be right now. Have you at least been able to contact your husband?
Although I know it can’t help much, you’re in my thoughts and I’m sending all the good vibes I can muster your way. Take care.
Darlin, I am so sorry. Is there any way to contact your husband? This is something that should not be faced alone. Please call a friend to come be with you.
I am all too familiar with the pain and frustrations involved.*
Please feel free to email me (check my profile).
Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
Peace be with you.
Washte
*I had four between Christmas 2000 and October 2001. Then another in September last year with twins.
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and thoughts. I did get a hold of my husband immediately after finding out, but there’s no way that he can come home now. He’s sad as well, and has called several times since just to see how I’m doing. Like I said, we’ve been through this before, and I know it will be OK eventually. I’m just tired and frustrated of it all, and the timing with him out of town just pushes my patience a little more.
I’m just poking away online untill I get exhausted enough to fall asleep. My bandmates found a replacement for me for the next 4 days, too, so at least I can stay home and recover for a few days. Tomorrow I have to go in for a D/C and I’ll have a friend staying with me for at least the day, and as long as I need her around.
I really appreciate the postings from everyone here. What a wonderful place this is.
Smashed, I’m so sorry. Please let us know if you need anything.
{{{{{Smashed Ice Cream}}}}}
ps - call your doctor and get him/her to call you in a few valium so you can get some sleep before tomorrow. And YES, it’s okay to call - this is a really big deal.
My wife had one right before Christmas. It’s such a sad thing, and I’m sorry you’re husband is away and you’re going through it alone. My thoughts are with you.
I can’t imagine the disappointment and frustration you’re feeling. I hope you husband can get home soon. It sucks to be by yourself when things happen.
I am very sorry for what you and your husband are going through. I cannot imagine such hope and happiness yanked away so cruelly. You have my permission to eat as much chocolate and ice cream as you need.
Have you discussed with your ob/gyn going to a genetic counselor?
First of all I am retired with three adult children. When I got out of the Navy in 1966 my wife and I moved from Chicago to Connecticut. Not having too much knowledge about what a miscarriage was we thought we were just not meant to have children after 4 in one year. I was not getting any younger and my wife and I were seriously considering adopting. It was getting to he point where all hope was lost and we decided not to adopt and to live our lives out childless and just get enwrapped around each other. My wife is an artist and I was in advertising for 25 years.
So too make a long story short. 5 years later we decided to make a life change and build a home. We did not have any children and we had a decent saving, and in our part of connecticut the governor was basically givng land away. So we built a gorgeous 4 bedroom, log home in 4 acres of hilly, oak laden countryside on the Connecticut River. After the last brick was layed and the last log was fashioned on to the fram, my wife got very ill. She was in the hospital with what was though to be tuberculosis but the doctors were unsure. I thought after all that building and all the hardships that I was going to lose my beloved wife when we were only in our 30’s…and I vowed that if I did lose her I would live the rest of my days without a companion, and ask God for speed. It was a very difficult time for both of us.
My wife pulled through but was very week for some time. When she started back at work she mentioned wanting to get a puppy. Max he was an he was a good dog, a mut, but cool non-the less. He made us for some reason, less stressed about daily life, and paying bills and not having children etc…etc…
Two months later my wife was pregnant again. If she misscarried that would make 7 in total.
In the winter of 1972 my first daughter was born happy and healthy… in the Spring of 1974 my son cam into the world a wopping 10 pounds 7 ounces and the winter of 1976 my youngest daughter was born a peanut 5 pounds 9 ounces.
I have never looked back in away as to cast blame on the years my wife and I had no children. but for the beginning years of my marriage we were childless. An in the late 60’s that was looked upon as something wrong with us. But I look at it, as a blessing in disguise. I have three beautiful adult children now and a wife who loves me. There is a time for everything, and sometimes, they come when you are least expecting, I believe my wifes body was simply not ready. I also believe the children we have now, are culminations of the children we lost. My heart goes to you, and your husband, but allow me to say, it is only a matter of that all powerful force…time.
