For a long time I thought “gesticulating wildly” was a euphemism for “doing it”.
Cockles.
from back when Letterman was midly funny and relevant:
Top 10 Expressions that Sound Dirty but Really Aren’t
10. “Frosting the pastry”
9. “Shooting hoops”
8. “Jumping the turnstile”
7. “Checking your oil”
6. “Tethering the blimp”
5. “Sending out for sushi”
4. “Picnic on the grass”
3. “Quarter-pounder at the Golden Arches”
2. “Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln”
- “Windsurfing on Mount Baldy”
Indeed! I’ve been calling them Rudfuckers for years now.
Pianist
Oral fixation (Seriously, it’s the only reason I ever smoke cigarettes!)
Dipstick
“Wankel Rotary Engine.”
“ballcock” – a perfectly innocent plumbing supply.
“plumbing supply,” for that matter, especially “female plumbing supplies”
Other actual plumbing supplies that sound dirty include “male coupling,” “female coupling,” “female/male coupling,” “male adapter,” “Male connector,” “Male/female swivel aerator*,” “pipe nipple” and “stopcock.”
*Hell, everything about the male/female designation in plumbing is sexual. Why do you think they use those terms?
Seven year-old Kizarvexilla, who is normally the language police of the family (“Daddy, that was a naughty word!”), said “Rudfuckers” recently. I was too busy trying not to crash the car to think about chastising her for it.
“She scared the dickens out of me.”
Some connectors receive other connectors, they’re just the right size to accomodate them. Those are called female connectors.
The connectors that fit tightly into the female connectors are male.
Do I make you horny baby?
I suppose they could have called them A & B or X & Y, but anybody old enough to be doing plumbing should know how the male & female plumbing works already.
I had a woman call in at work one day who said, “I’m looking for parts for my husband.” (Good Og, woman, you wore them out!)
We also deal with naughty-sounding bits, too. Drain cocks, pistons, bowl nuts, high speed screws, blowing O-rings and sanding nipples are common terms around here. (I work in small engine and compressor parts)
Oh, did I mention filler tubes?
Binder? I don’t even know her!
We have a new Thai restaurant in town called Phuket. I’m told it’s properly pronounced “poo-ket”. That’s not how the folks around here pronounce it.
I did inventory for a company once. On the list of stuff was “Pocket Pull”. Didn’t know what it was or where it was kept. One of the guys working with me chimed in with, “I got yer Pocket Pull right here!”
Laughed for 45 minutes! Still get a chuckle now and then.
(Its a recessed plactic grab handle)
Pretty much anything of the form “[verb]ing the [noun]” sounds like a euphemism for masturbation.
<snerk>
There is a woman on the local TV news here named Amber Philpot. I can’t decide if she sounds like a commode color, or a stripper.
Yup. In Chicago, we bring you: Dick Johnson
And from Baltimore: Deborah Weiner
The doctor says my uvula is enlarged.