“I have a wocket in my pocket” always sounded kind of naughty to me.
Conversation between a friend and me the other day, about one of our classes:
Friend: So, how’s your week been going?
Me: Oh, you know. Hegel took up most of my time. I couldn’t really concentrate on anything else because of him.
Friend: Yeah, I know. Fucking Hegel.
Me: I mean, he was just THERE, and … it was just too big. There was just SO MUCH of him.
Commercials:
“I want some fun piled on a bun, I want a manwich please”.
Well yes piling on a bun is the best way to get fun out of a manwich.
Waterspa; “We’ll Get You Wet”.
Promises promises.
Like the springtime rite of getting an outboard motor ready for the water:
“Lubing the lower unit”
There’s an urban legend about a lady who thought Chlamydia was a lovely name for her newborn daughter. :eek: 
I like it for a plant, too; “Have you seen my chlamydia? It’s coming along very nicely. I think it might be starting to spread, even.”
Not dirty dirty, more juvenile toilet humor here. The card game called “pinochle” has always sounded funny to me.
From the Google ads below:
Bone Screw Materials
Veridiam manufactures cannulated round bar materials for Bone Screws
I never imagined ‘screwed to the bone’ would be a technical expression.
Nosegay
In Hillsborough county we have a county commissioner named Rhonda Storms. The first time I heard the name I thought, “They elected a stripper?” But she’s actually a total right-wing bitch.
Not that that’s contradictory.
Or the announcer that said (no cite) “He picked his hole and squrimed for five yards!”
Butt stroke To butt stroke someone is to strike them, typically in the face, with the butt of a rifle. It always sounds weird teh first time a civilian hears it 
Oh, I just thought of another one…
Wacker Drive in Chicago.
c’monnnnnn!
Can’t take credit for this, it won the best worst opening line contest or somesuch:
“Dora loved to explore”
It didn’t help that my kids were taking a bubble bath and we’ve got Dora, who’s the cap, sitting on a mountain, which has the bubblebath…except Alex (boy) was holding Dora in a…um…sexually possible way.
In veterinary medicine there is a product called a “balling gun”.
Such smut!
That’s outstanding. I still get a kick out of Big Ass Fans. It’s amusing in several ways, especially in light of the rule of punctuating a compound adjective and their failure to do so; thus creating an image of Ass Fans that are themselved “Big,” whatever that may mean. But, check out the ass that the have for the logo. I’m sure the placement of the left, front leg was purely accidental. 
Once at the sushi bar, I overheard a high school teacher complain that she’d spent the daying being worn out by 17-year olds.
I wish I could say that.
When we change positions it’s called a “tap out.”
Manager: “Hey Cyberhwk, go tap Jessica”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll TAP Jessica.”
I should add this is changing positions at WORK.