It seems that in Anthracite’s “I’m a dumb worthless bitch” thread I snuck in the next-to-last post and gave my $0.02 on the situation. Evidently by doing so I undid all that she set out to do (and, presumably, came close to accomplishing).
I responded to her in e-mail and I’ll say it here - chill, babe. I still like you. But you responded to me exactly how you claimed in that very thread you were going to try very, very hard not to - you personalized, overblew and misconstrued my comments.
You asked for feedback, and I gave it - this is bad? I learned this lesson a long time ago - if you don’t want feedback you can’t handle, don’t post the thread. Hopefully you’ve now learned this as well. But I am not going to stand by and let slams against me pass without asking for clarification, and if I don’t get it, don’t expect me to tapdance with joy. Funny, seems you and I have much in common - we both care about what’s said, and what’s said about us, on this board.
I’m sorry that my remark(s) caused you so much heartache, and I assure you it was not my intention.
I didn’t see anything in her thread in response to your post, but may I humbly suggest that if she answered you in e-mail, you contain it to e-mail? I don’t think it’s right to share other peoples words or sentiments that were privately expressed via a message board.
I’m not trying to defend Anth, but for Gods sake, drop it. Or at least contain it to e-mail, if that’s where the problem started.
The whole issue is getting like a train wreck. I hope she takes my advice and ignores this thread entirely, in fact.
On the other hand, she’s the one who keeps bringing things up in public, and, IMHO, that begs a public response.
To her credit, after her first comment to me, we did take it to e-mail, and she said she would publicly apologize for the comment if I so required. Problem is, I didn’t want an apology - she has every right to her opinion, and she didn’t say anything particularly insulting. I took it to e-mail because I wanted to hear her thoughts, but she declined to expound.
Then she puts up the Pit thread, asking for input. I gave it. I don’t think I said anything particularly inflammatory. Now she hates me and never wants to speak to me again.
So, again, I’m sorry what I said hurt her, but I’m thinking, I didn’t do anything she didn’t ask for - in public.
It’s up to her. I just felt a public response was necessary since what I said that upset her so much was said in public.
I am. You know, we don’t all get along with every one. It’s a fact of life. Move on, and some day the two of you will be like Kelli and Diane- linking arms and singing Coumbaya. (or whatever that song is)
The other thread was closed because she requested it. I would respect that if it were me. Her public flogging ended at her request, so why drag it on, know what I mean?
[abrupt subject change]
Hey, have you been on the Daily Show yet? I’m dying to see it!
I did say something to Esprix a few weeks ago that was uncalled for. I also apologized at the time, and offered to post a public apology. Esprix did not require one at the time, so none was posted.
Yesterday, he sent me a nicely worded letter asking me again what I meant by my slight. I sent a response immediately in which I “begged him” to forgive me, and said I was wrong on all counts. In fact, my exact words were:
I tried to express to him that I was throwing myself on his mercy to forgive me.
What bothered me was not that he posted to the thread. There is no double standard I am applying. What upset me was I thought I had apologized to him, and begged his forgiveness via e-mail, so there was no need to bring the incident up in the thread. Obviously, he felt there was.
If it was indeed conducive to add his comments to the thread after I thought I had made my peace with him, then so be it. I also apologized to a few others via e-mail over the last couple days, and NONE of them saw fit after the apology to then bring the issue up in the Pit thread.
Obviously, there is a greater issue at heart here. So I accept Esprix’s criticism in the now-closed Pit thread, and acknowledge it. I will take it to heart, learn from it, and I thank you for pointing out what you did. And what you posted in the thread will stay in the thread, and because this is another misunderstanding, my comments about about not talking to you again I withdraw. If you will have me.
But I reiterate - our e-mail angst this morning was not because of the post per se. It was because I thought we had privately settled this, or that I at least had made it clear that I wronged you, and was truly sorry for it. Like I said, I apologized to a few others, who did not see fit to bring it to the thread AFTER the apology.
That was the reason for my reaction.
Esprix, I did not lie in my reply to you. I think you are funny, intelligent, wity, and a credit to this board, and I still hope you will continue to defend those of us who do not fit the societal norm for sexuality, sexual preference, or gender. And even myself one day.
As Zette has pointed out, this should remain in e-mail from now on.
I would do the {{{HUGS}}} thing too, but I don’t do that for anyone.
Let me reiterate one more thing. Esprix, you must know by now how sorry I am about the original comment. I continue to be sorry about that, and to apologize to you.
I just wanted to point out here why I reacted differently, so as not to be thought a hypocrite by yourself and others. Or make others fear that now I was going to “come after them” for what was said in the thread. Which
WILL NOT HAPPEN
Finally, once again, please forgive me for the Dr Boyfriend comment. If you and I met in person, and shared our respective stories, I think we would both be crying in each other’s beers. But online, there is little else I can do.
