My sister has been diagnosed with cervical cancer (they caught it very early, and we all have our fingers crossed for a very good outcome), but she’s looking at a hysterectomy before she has had any kids. She is 37. She is going to talk to her doctor about harvesting her eggs and using a surrogate mother in the future. Her husband also had cancer a couple of years ago, and had aggressive chemotherapy that may have rendered him sterile or incapable of producing healthy sperm. (Some people get all the breaks, eh? ) He has a frozen donation on file from before his chemotherapy treatment.
I haven’t said anything to her, but I am quite pessimistic about these things for her, based on how difficult/painful/unreliable the procedures are, her age, her husband’s previous health problems, and possible cost and just overall level of difficulty with so many negative factors. Am I out to lunch to be so pessimistic? Is there still a good chance that she and her husband could have a baby that is genetically theirs? Should the family be gently steering them in the direction of adoption in the hopes of cushioning the blow for them? Or should we all just mind our own damn business and let them work this out for themselves?
I wouldn’t be so pessimistic.
If the husband already a sample frozen that’s a good start.
Harvesting the eggs isn’t too much of a problem. They put her on drugs to time her ovulation and on the correct date manually retrieve them. Hopefull they retrieve a decent amount. If not it can be redone without a problem.
From there it’s just a matter of manually injecting the eggs with the sperm in a lab to create as many embryos as possible. Then they’re all frozen for storage. (or used fresh if a surrogate is on standby).
Finding a surrogate may be a hurdle but there is no rush if the embryos stay frozen. Storage costs are fairly minimal.
Once a surrogate is found they thaw a predetermined amount of embryos. Not all survive the thaw process so they grab a handful. From there they select the best looking one or two (some cases three) embryos and put them into the surrogate whose ovulation is also controlled and monitored with drugs.
They’ll either take or they won’t from that point.
Actuall I’d be optomistic about the process. The only down side is the tremendous monetary costs involved. Those can be a downer.
I’m also fairly pessimistic about their chances here. It is something to try, but it’s definitely a long shot. And I strongly disagree with the statement in the prior post: “Harvesting the eggs isn’t too much of a problem.” When my wife and I were going through this, there was a time where I was giving her 4 injections a day, plus she had to go in to be monitoried and ultrasounded 3 times a week, plus she got over-stimulated and had to go on an intravenous IV for a while.
And I hate to mention it, but their medical histories might make adoption a problem as well.
To answer your very last question, I’d just recommend that you just generally be supportive, and encourage them to thoroughly read up on all their options.
Ah, jeeze, I hadn’t even thought of that. Thanks, I guess.
I’m doing a little reading on the processes, and they do sound involved and tortuous. Supportive I can do! (I’m thinking at this point to just steer her to talking to her doctors about this - the more research I do, the more confused I’m getting).
Thanks for your vote of confidence too, Hampshire.
I am sorry for your sister’s situation, but all hope is not lost. I am not a doctor, but I am an executive for a company that supports a network of Fertility Specialist MD’s.
Egg Harvesting - aka, Fertility Preservation - is seeing innovations on a regular basis. A recent innovation, vitrification, is a form a slow-freezing the eggs while ensuring that they are somewhat dehydrated so they freeze without ice crystals forming, which can damage the egg’s delicate tissues. Some recent studies have shown that the implantation rate for IVF cycles done with vitrified eggs are as strong as with fresh eggs and another recent study shows that babies born via FET (frozen embryo transfer - so, not just the egg, but a fertilized embryo that was frozen and implanted at a later date) suffer no greater health problems vs. fresh embryos.
In the U.S. there is a non-profit called Fertile Hope (link to their website) which is solely dedicated to helping women like your sister. I strongly recommend that she dive into the website and contact them with any and all questions (my company is not affiliate with FH, but we have made corporate donations and done ad buys for their brochures in the past - they are a good organization)…
As a prior surrogate, please support your sister in this. There are plenty of women out there who want to help! Yes, it is costly and very emotional but it is all worth it in the end when she is holding her own child.
My step-sister had melanoma a few years ago and they harvested eggs from her before her treatment. Last year they mixed some of them with her husbands sperm and two months ago her surrogate gave birth to beautiful, healthy twin girls.
Well, she talked to her fertility doctor today (her appointment with the oncologist is Thursday), and he gave her some hope for a hysterectomy with the ovaries left, and egg harvesting and surrogacy after her treatments are all finished. Surrogacy apparently is not for money in Canada, but all of their fertility treatments will come out of their own pockets (not covered by our universal healthcare).
As an adoptee, I am so uncomfortable with the assumption that you are missing something if you don’t bear a genetic child that looks like you, walks like you, whatever. Sympathy for people who are crushed to discover that they may never have a baby is in order, sure. But let’s keep our heads about us, shall we? Parenthood is about a hell of a lot more than vaginally ejecting a child who may or may not have facial features that resemble your own. Parenting is about the love, the discipline, the long talks to help your child understand right and wrong, hugs after a scraped knee … sharing some DNA with your kid is nice, for sure. Obsessing on it ain’t cool.
Yes, it was** Hal Briston’s** wife, aka** kittenlm**. She’s already made a brief post in this thread (post #8). Here’s her thread on the topic: Ask the surrogate
I broached the subject of adoption to her yesterday; they’re still pretty firmly in the “surrogate” camp. That may change as life’s realities start hitting home. Frankly, if you met these two, you would never in a million years think that they are people who would want to upset their extremely comfortable, routine lifestyles for a baby. Their lives, their call, though, of course.
) He has a frozen donation on file from before his chemotherapy treatment.
