Keep’em short and sweet.
I’m going to list a few later as I don’t have my phone on me right now.
Don’t read this til after you post your joke, please!
I put the ‘sticky’ joke by post 8 and the ‘slippery’ joke at post 9
What the hell, let me look through my phone and see if I have any gems for yall:
DEFINITION OF FUCKED…
A man has a truck payment, a house payment, a wife, and a girlfriend.
And they are all a month late.
Why do girls fart after they pee?
Since they can’t SHAKE IT, they BLOW DRY IT.
Who’s the most famous prostitude in the world?
Mrs. Pacman: Give her a quarter, and she’ll swallow balls until she dies!
Chinese man calls his boss, “Me no work, me sick”. Boss says, “When I’m sick I fuck my wife. Try that”. Two hours later he calls his boss back: “Me better. You got NICE HOUSE!”
A japanese girl was having sex and accidentally farted. She said “Oh, so sorry! You make front hole so happy back hold blow you kiss!!”
Three hillbillys are sitting in a diner at a booth jacking off. The waitress walks up and says “What the HELL are you doing!?!?”.
One of the hillbillys points with his non-occupied hand to the sign at the window: “First Come, First Serve”
20 years of sex in the dark and a wife finds out her husband has always used a dildo.
She exclaims, “Explain the dildo, fool!”. His reply:
“Explain the kids bitch!”
Thats all the ones I have at the moment from my sister. Oh she keeps my side split open, she does.
Oh no! I heard you got mugged and the assailant held you at gunpoint and demanded you give up your phone or give him a blowjob. I see you still have your phone!
ETA:
This one just in:
I think someone snitched on us, the police are looking for 2 SEXY bitches. They ALREADY got me so RUN BITCH RUN!
EETA (guess my contacts heard I was reading this thread):
Did you hear Tony Romo tried to shoot himself? The bullet was intercepted.
Wife says: “We can’t afford beer anymore”
husband says “No more make up then”
wife says: “but I wanna look pretty for you”
husband says: “That’s what the beer is for”
Boy in tub with mom asks “What’s that hairy thing?”
mom says “That’s my sponge”
boys says “The babysitters got one too, I saw Daddy wash his face with it”
Women have special powers;
They get wet with out water
they bleed with out injury
they make boneless meat hard
and they make men eat with out cooking.