In celebration of my upcoming 900th post?
NO?.. I was afraid of that… 
Well hell it’s Saturday night… let’s all have a glass of spumanti and get jiggy wit it anyway cause I’m gettin drunk on cheap champagne and I don’t care know whos it!!!
And I promise not to bring this up again on my actual 900th post. 
I’ll offer it… since you asked only for offers and not for the follow through… this was an easy one 
Damn sue, leave it to you to find a loophole…ohhh I said hole didn’t I?
I would offer, but you have always heard it said that best friends shouldn’t have sex, it ruins the friendship
Not necessarily true miss southern belle
HA! sue is on my side! sue would you be my lawyer?
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! I need something to get my mind off this quitting smoking thing. And it was you who recommended sex as a reward, so it’s only fair that you be the one to provide it, right?
Will ya pay me big bucks? I want a nice holiday this year
Holy geezzz an offer by a gorgeous Jewish American princess… I do believe I am sweating…(fanning)
Now where the hell is that spumanti…
Hey, Aha, I’m not offering (unless you’re into guy w/ guy?), but I wanna know… can I watch?
Aha, you seem to have an obsession with spumante. Maybe you should cut down a little.
Lemmie finish this bottle first…
Ah, what the hell! I’ll do it, aha! 
Any of you wimmin in mpsim want to offer me hot sex?
MaryannQ:
Ok MaryannQ, I will do it with you too, but you have to have hot sex ok?
Nobody caught that one! You know, lawyer, sue…yeah, I know it’s lame. So sue me! Hahahahahaha.
Anyway, all right, aha, I’ll play along: Ya want some hot sex?
Ummm, aha, aren’t you the one who offered a quickie trip to Cancun the last time you tied into a bottle of bubbly? I never did get the sordid details–or manage to hijack the ticket–but IIRC it involved something about auctioning off Mrs. aha to Dr. Watson.
Dear aha, really, really, you need to switch beverages. Though on second thought, have some Long Island Iced tea, and just sign on that itty-bitty dotted line…yes, it’s the deed to your house…
Drink lots of water, dear.
Veb
I’m with aha!
Who wants hot sex? *…looks around the house and sees only 3 dogs and a cat… shudder
I still insist on watching, whoever it ends up being.
You weren’t talking about B_Line12’s pets were you?
HEY!! NEVER!!! …are we talkin money here? …um I MEAN NEVER!
You are one sick puppy.
…but I wouldnt have to look right? …and were not talking oral right??
GOOD GRIEF you disgust me!! Get away from me!!
Would I be paid before or after?!?!
Oh dont even bother to answer… sick bastards.
It was before… im sure.
HEY! not that I would even think…
your all sick.