Stranger on a train --could I take a seat in your car? The one by the window? Thank you.
You see, I don’t like what I do either. Oh, I am very good at it–I have a strong work ethic and I care about people and details. I just never found my passion in life (as yet–there are plenty of things that interest me, but nothing that says, yes, do this). So, I sorta drift. I am not committed enough to my profession to want to rise via managment etc. Nor do I want a higher degree in it. It pays fairly well, and despite its difficulties, allows me a great deal of flexibility and freedom.
In short, this is as good as it gets for where I am.
I toddle along fine for months, and then get hit with a huge down swing–I am not happy with what I am doing, but am not sure what else to do. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and the kids/house/marriage/community need attention.
So, I think I do understand and I commiserate. Hope you find an upswing soon.
(bolding mine)
Hmm. I don’t really know what to tell you to go further. I recommend a new hobby, to start with. Paint model airplanes and hang them up. I don’t know, anything.
And going to a waterfall doesn’t mean being around people, or being introspective. Take a canvas and some paints and try to paint the damn thing.
The bolded part really worries me. Something is obviously eating at you but eluding you. I suggest you take a step back, list the stuff you have thought about that may be bothering you, and see what else is on there that you may not have thought about. Maybe there’s something major your mind is skirting all the time.
If none of that works, masturbate 20 times a day and you won’t have any energy left to worry.
This will be my new mantra now as well. I need to get off my ass and start doing some work. I had an essay due yesterday, but instead of doing it just sent an email asking for an extension.
I have no advice to offer though. I have perfected the art of doing nothing - Podkayne’s description of having spent a day doing absolutely nothing describes me perfectly. I don’t think people really believe me when I tell them that I’ve done nothing all day, yet it is sadly literally true.
