Oops - sorry, I left my referrents unclear. The bad choices Earl made were continuing to try to deal with a cop who clearly had no intention of being anything but a dick.
The people I meant who won’t help themselves are the grandparents and mother who allowed this bad person back into their lives and continue to help him (although I understand that they are afraid of him). There are steps that can be taken for someone like this, if you’re willing to go through with them - charge him with trespassing, harassment, uttering threats, whatever it takes (see a lawyer), and certainly includes not bailing him out of jail. It also includes getting the whole family on board with getting this toxic person out of their lives.
I do understand that they are scared of him, but you can’t let fear run your life. One option might be to just pack up and leave, not telling any of the blabbermouths where they are going. It might not be a great option, but there are options.
One thing the folks involved may want to do: contact the appropriate law enforcement agency (city PD or county sheriff, depending on where you live) and ask that a “criminal trespass warning” be presented to the psycho for their address. A one-page form will be filled out with the property owner’s name and address. The form will then be presented by the police to the psycho, and they will ask him to sign it and give him a copy.
This creates a paper trail showing that he has received written notice that he must stay away from that property. If he ever shows up again, even to knock on the door, they can call the police and file charges on him for criminal trespass, which earns him another trip to jail.
And even misdemeanors like that can stack up. If he’s had as many prior convictions as you say, it’s likely that even a criminal trespass charge will translate into a mandatory minimum of 90 days in jail or more.
I knew a guy like that, too. He and his friends marched around the neighborhood in their camouflage. One night he and a friend attacked a group of us camping out in a friend’s backyard. A few years later he was arrested after he was found carrying a concealed weapon following an accident. A few years after that he murdered an elderly woman after breaking into her home.
This guy sounds like bad news through and through. Maybe he is all bluster when he is sober, but who knows what he might do high and/or drunk.
Yeah, you have a point. The guy I knew didn’t seem to have any substance issues (drank at parties but nothing else) so that’s definitely a difference here.
This is the part that most bothers me. You tell us she has washed her hands of him, why did she post bail for him? Why can’t he rot in jail?
As long as someone keeps bailing his ass out literally as well as figuratively, there’s not a chance he’ll go away. Ever.
If the grandparents want to do it, let them go do it.
I have no other advice, except maybe “move” as well. But the bail-posting made me lose most of my sympathy. His mom is an enabler, and I have a few of those in my family, too.
Thanks for all advice. The one I think I’ve convinced Earl to do is talk to the County Prosecutor (who is the one he really should have talked to in the first place) in hopes that he’ll move for maximum sentence and maybe can get a particularly no-nonsense judge.
A few legal questions (which all disclaimers in place, I don’t hold anybody liable for bad information even if they’re not a lawyer, etc. etc.). I know that state and local laws vary widely, but GENERALLY,
-Does somebody have to make an overt threat to have them evicted from your property when there’s no lease and all that?
-Does a mother have any legal responsibility for the actions of a grown child who lives in her house? (I do know that the car he drives, which she owns, can be confiscated if used in drug sales, but it’s an older car and not the one she drives.)
-BP was sentenced to 3 years in prison and served his complete time. When you serve every day of a sentence (i.e. no early parole), do you still have a probation officer? He swears that since he served the full sentence he does not, but I can’t help but think there’s a probation officer somewhere.
-Is there any bill proposed for just one municipality or state where hit men (or hit women) are legal? I know that Texas has that “he needed killin’” thing and prostitution’s legal in D.C. and all, so we need to have just one “killin’ okay with license, warrant and moderate justification”. Think what it could do to the tourism and economy of the place. For example, sort of a “What happens in Kansas City gets buried in a cornfield outside of Kansas City… and ain’t nobody seen a fuckin’ ting, got it?” Just sayin’.
Those records of prior convictions are public record. Earl should call those county clerks and get certified copies of the judgments of conviction. Then give those to the prosecuting attorney. It is the PA’s job to get those, but they don’t always do it, especially from out of state. But I’m sure they would appreciate it.
Oh everybody, Earl, his father and I were furious at this and said the same thing: if she’s worried about him harassing his grandparents then have them change their number; it’s highly unlikely he and his 80 year old grandparents have that many friends in common who’d give the number out. And if the grandparents don’t want to do that then, they’ve had 80 years, that’s a good haul, I’d settle, he can’t ruin their lives for long.
Even after all BP’s troubles with the law and victims (he’s never done murder to anybody’s knowledge but he’s sent people to the hospital several times) and his baby-mama’s and the like his grandparents still think “he’s a good boy who needs help and a chance”. (This s.o.b. inherited over $100,000 cash from his father’s estate when he was in his 20s and it was gone in a matter of months, incidentally.)
While I have no knowledge of the case I would also not be the least bit surprised if the woman who accused him of rape dropping the charges shortly after he was released on bail (which that time was posted by a bondsman who, again, didn’t check BP’s record to know what a flight risk he was) was not coincidence. In fact I’d be surprised if it was. BP is DEFINITELY the type who would not take no as an answer if he wanted to have sex and the girl did not. He is just… broken, there’s no fixing him, if he were a dog you’d have him put down and if he were a car you’d scrap him because there is no redeeming him (though I’m sure he’ll go through a manic and very vocal religious conversion at some point if it seems convenient).
Also, Earl informs me that one reason he called the sheriff to begin with was that BP’s had other arrests where he swore pitifully that it was his only time driving drunk and he’d never do it again and faodiufa dofiuadfouopiua asdf and they didn’t check his record OR it wasn’t complete due to interstate database issues, etc., and he told the uninterested sheriff that.
And how thorough was the job when his car was impounded, incidentally? Earl’s father picked up the car the night of BP’s arrest (it was towed in to the impound yard upon his arrest) and on the seat in plain view was a pot pipe with residue in it. Under the seat, just a hair under, was a switchblade style knife that’s illegal to conceal or carry in Alabama (though they are legal to sell due to a loophole). As I said, this has Dateline written all over it (though since I’m tangentially connected and well spoken in public this could all be God’s way of bringing me face to face with my future husband Anderson Cooper… hmmm… as the saying goes, when God slams a door on your toe he tosses you out a window somewhere, so I could be the beneficiary of Earl’s family’s loss…
Plus Alabama PAs, like PAs everywhere, have horrendous case loads and a DUI is so quotidian they just can’t devote much time if the info isn’t a few computer clicks away. That’s a very good idea, thanks.
Just spitballin’ here, but is there a chance that a federal prosecutor would be interested? AFAIK, selling MJ is a federal offense. Those guys have no sense of humor at all. FWIW.
My suggestions (and you can take them for what they are worth):
(1) Earl needs to get a lawyer retained and ask about being questioned. $500 will probably do it. He probably doesn’t need one, but it sure would be nice to have one he could call that already had the background just in case he was pulled over for “speeding” and/or held for questioning by an asshole sherrif. Plus he can answer all the questions about what constitutes an actual threat.
(2) give up on the mother. She can say that she’s had it with Sir Psycho Creepy all she wants, but actions speak louder than words. If she can be swayed by relatives and the church to keep paying the bill for her son (monetarily and metaphorically) then she probably won’t change this late in the game until he physically attacks her.
(3) Call the news and ask if they have an interest in one of those Dateline “They Did Nothing” stories. It doesn’t have to be Stone Phillips.
(4) Kick the bastard out and get an alarm system. Maybe he will come back. I don’t know. Would you rather ADT was notified or would you rather he came in because he had a key?
Plus, if he shows up the cops can be called and you don’t have to say “well, he’s here because he lives here”
My understanding (in IL) is that even if there’s no lease, if there is an *understanding * that this is your residence, you are required to give the person reasonable time to find a new place to live uness there is an overt threat. Check with local laws on that.
Technically, mom could lose her house if he’s dealing out of it (the only cite I have is seeing this kind of thing on TV). If you know he’s dealing, mom should drop a dime.
My friend’s cousin was released from prison after serving every day of his sentence (for MURDER). No parole officer, no nothing. He served his entire sentence and was a free man. Again, this was IL.
Secondly, the home number needs to be changed and no one anywhere’s get the number. Don’t call us. We’ll call you. Especially not the Grandparents or Ministers or anyone who advised for them to take this BP back into the bosom of the family.
BP will find someone new to leech onto once a brick wall has been established. the other family and friends who just don’t understand the mental hell of the situation. In fact, making up a list of these well meaning, but absolutely clueless idiots phone numbers and addresses and shoving it into BP’s pocket with a final, You are dead to us. Go leech off of someone else. Might give them a taste of how it slowly starts with nicey-nicey talk and The Boy Just Needs A Chance, before it just grows and grows and grows. I know that won’t happen, but wouldn’t it be nice if these Well Meaning Clueless Folk could actually walk a mile in Earl’s moccassin’s and be filled with living dread with a mixture of fear?
One son brain damaged because of drugs. Another (half) is a lunatic. Good god. What the hell is going on there?
Is there some kind of Legal Notice that can be done at the court house and in the local paper to make a public and legal breakage with BP? I’ve seen in the classifieds the " I, Earl Q. Public, from this date onwards, will not be responsible for any debts incurred by BP…"
Mama definately needs to start some therapy and get over this huge co-dependency. And Not Churchy People. A real therapist. She’s lost one son permanently, no matter what she does she cannot rescue BP and make him turn around. He has to want to do that himself and that is very clear by his actions that that is never going to happen. Essentially, she has to mourn over the loss of both sons here and reconcile that and whatever failings ( real and perceived) she has a mother and woman.
Earl probably needs to pick up a book or three about co-dependency to help him understand the situation better.
Personally, as much as I love pit bulls and know that the breed gets a bad rap because of asshole owners, I’d really like this story to end with " And Penny the Pit Bull went postal on BP after he started smacking Mama around and there was nothing left of his caratoid artery by the time she finished." Yes, penny would win and then be put to sleep, but it is probably the only solution that would end this nightmare, because BP will live forever. Trash like that usually done.
You are a good person to listen to Earl and want to help.
[size=1]If I’ve confused any of the people, it is because I haven’t had enough coffee yet.
I’m not touching your other questions, but I’ll let you know on this one: when a person is sentenced to a term in jail, serves all their time, and is released, there is no subsequent requirement to check in with a probation officer. Their sentence is over. As always, there are exceptions: “shock probation” is a special sentence which involves sending someone to jail for a period of time, then starting probation. The jail terms tend to be short, so three years is way more than I’d expect in such a situation.
Another possibility is that he’s on probation for an offense in another jurisdiction, and they decided to continue his probation rather than revoking it for the offense that put him in jail. It’s not real likely, but it does happen, usually with longer probation terms or high fines that the other jurisdiction really wants to collect.
(friend of Sampiro’s - I don’t have an account, so I asked if I could post this one reply under his screen name).
Thanks for all of the responses. All were insightful and helpful. At this point, though - screw it.
What’ll happen will happen. I can’t concern myself any more with it. I doubt I’ll take any further action. PB’s activities and behavior are getting more risky and he’s becoming more loudmouth and boastful and generally unstable as each day passes. It really is only a matter of time before he’s locked away again. He’s gotten to the point where he will causally mention to anyone within earshot that he’s a dealer, and he still drives drunk/stoned all the time so, yeah…only a matter of time.
Incidentally, I understand that during his arraignment, his previous crimes were noted and he was still went free, so there’s really nothing more I could do - they did wind up doing what I wanted to make sure they did (not because I asked them to: I found out later that at roughly the exact same time I was dealing with Sherriff BadAssMuthaf*cka, PB was standing before the judge). So, I’ve given all the info I can. We can now only hope that in the course of whatever it is that finally gets him put away, no one innocent gets hurt.
Merry Magdalen, I have often seriously considered what you said. He is very probably an amusing hanger on who’ll be dumped as soon as he becomes a threat to their world. I don’t know any of the people he associates with , and he’s prone to lying about everything, so I don’t even know how much of it’s true in the first place.
Anyway, I can’t really do much now. Just sit back, grit my teeth, and wait.
If “somebody” wants to put a little sleuthy effort into it, “somebody” could follow him when he goes out for a snort. When he drives home, “Somebody” could drop a dime and give his location.
Well, since you’ve decided to wash your hands of the matter, let’s hope he doesn’t plow his car into an SUV with a mom and her kids back from a day of Christmas shopping.
For evil to triumph good men must do nothing. I know you’re sick of the situation. All I can encourage you to do is to get your stepmom (maybe through your dad) to quit being his safety net. Call the cops on his ass every time he jaywalks.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that he ends up in jail and that no one else gets hurt.
Earl, I compliment you on your bravery, both in doing what should have been the sensible thing (calling the cops…who could have known you’d get that kind of response?), and in cutting your losses. Stay strong.
