Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

Lemmy in a wrestling Hall of Fame because he did HHH’s theme yet Jim Johnston who has done the majority of the classic themes since the 80’s isn’t. SOunds about right for the HOF which put Drew Carrey in… whilst Rick Rude isn’t…

Maybe Vince is still sore about the Rick Rude Double Feature (where he showed up on a live Nitro that started an hour before his last WWE appearance on a pre-recorded Raw).

Turns out Joey Ryan’s penis is at least five times more powerful than we previously thought.

That is some testicular fortitude. Or should that be fiveitude?

Maybe Alexyss K. Tylor could be his manager.

Where in the hell did you pull this reference from?!?

She went viral a few years ago. Everybody’s famous for 15 minutes.

It’s being reported that WWE has signed AJ Styles and several other members of the Bullet Club. NXT may about to be getting a lot more interesting.

Do they have rights to the use of “Bullet club”? I would assume not so I don’t think they could just have Bullet Club East, but a reunion with Finn might be cool.

AJ would get a name too probably right?

I figure AJ gets to keep his name the same way Samoa Joe and James Storm have, but the others (Doc Gallows, Karl Anderson, and Shinsuke Nakamura) will probably get new names. I’m not sure about the trademark status of “Bullet Club”, but since they’ve been using the copycat “Balor Club” logo for awhile now they could always do that.

NXT’s going to have to expand to two hours to handle all the talent they signed. That’s just all there is to it. It’d be weird to see Indie messiah AJ Styles in WWE, but NXT is a good match for him. Doc Gallows used to be a midcarder in WWE, and now he’s apparently stepped up his game. Didn’t Nakamura wrestle in RoH a few times? If so, he’d be a prize catch. He’s not only technically good, he just oozes coolness. He’s kind of a Japanese Ric Flair.

RAW last night was OK until Vince started flexing his man boobs. I got so nauseous I turned off the TV. Septuagenarian bodybuilders just… shouldn’t. He thinks he looks like Mr. Universe, but he looks more like Elephant Man.

I read later that whoever wins the Rumble wins the WWE title. How can this possibly go wrong? I’m sure SDMB has a post limit, so I won’t bother.

3MB is back. Well, Heath Slater heading a new coalition of losers anyway. Surprised Damian Sandow wasn’t part of it. Maybe they have better plans for him, like leading another midcarder pact of him, Fandango, Zack Ryder and R-Troof.

Chris Jericho is between Fozzy tours and will grace us with a RR appearance. Are Fozzy shows that lucrative for him? I mean, I like his podcast, but there’s no way I’d pay money to hear him sing. His band’s named after a muppet, for Og’s sake. Did he actually get the audience to say “Rooty Tooty Booty”? Never be the same a-gayn.

Other than basically guaranteeing that RR wins the Rumble I’m not hating the plot twist too terribly much. I was assuming that RR would face Vince (seriously I thought that) so I see this as an improvement.

Jericho will play some Fozzy stuff before his podcast and I actually like it for the most part. Honestly the weak link is his singing. So what’s on tap for Rumble so far? Jericho in the Rumble and the Championship…anything else yet?

I’m seeing it the other way around - Roman makes it to the final two, then someone from the Authority interferes and yanks him out of the ring to make the other guy (maybe Triple H himself) the new champ, and the main event of WrestleMania is Reigns’ rematch against the champ.

Nakamura has indeed wrestled in ROH a few times via their talent-sharing agreement with New Japan. The rumor being floated is that the amount WWE is giving him is way higher than what Hideo and Finn got when they were brought over, and that he may be going direct to the main roster instead of NXT.

So far

Big Show
Curtis Axel
Ryback
Bray Wyatt
Braun Strowman
Luke Harper
Erick Rowan
Dolph Ziggler
Chris Jericho
Roman Reigns

Reminder for anyone interested: TNA debuts on PopTV tonight, as they reboot themselves for the fifth or sixth time. It’s supposedly carried more widely than Destination America was, though I’ve found that on Dish network, at least, it’s not carried in HD*, so if your channel guide is set to HD-only you may need to switch to find it.

*unless it’s in some strange tier that I don’t have

AT&T U-Verse doesn’t have it on any tier.

Or, they tease Reigns winning the Rumble, then Trips comes out, throws him over the top rope, and tells the announcer to inform everybody that some Corporate-friendly wrestler was never thrown over the top rope and thus is the winner and new champion.

Here’s my first thought; there are a lot of eliminations early, and just after #29 enters the ring, there’s only one other wrestler besides him left. #30 comes in (possibly a surprise entry), the other two try to double-clothesline him out, but he ducks and they both go over, making #30 the winner - John Cena. This lets him tie Flair’s title record with a minimum of actual wrestling. If he needs more time off, have him get injured on Raw the next night, and then conveniently forget about the 30-day rule for a while. (I was briefly considering Daniel Bryan as well, but if he never wrestles again, he has to go through the “give back the title” thing all over again.)

Here’s a crazy idea: have Reigns be the third-from-last eliminated, and show The Authority celebrating at ringside, but then the last two eliminate each other simultaneously (maybe set up a “pop contest” where they tease each one as the winner), and the Mysterious New WWE General Manager announces that the Rumble is treated as a “draw”, and in a draw, the champion retains the title. However, the next night, while Reigns rubs it in HHH’s face, Trips reminds him that this has happened before (Lex Luger and Bret Hart - 1995, I think), and under the rules, both of the “winners” get title shots against him at WrestleMania.

There are a multitude of reasons why that wouldn’t work:

  • You aren’t going to build a Roman vs. Authority storyline for it to NOT culminate in some form or fashion with a belt

  • You aren’t going to have the main title belt just go away for a number of weeks a second time (ratings would never recover) Unless MAYBE it’s back on Brock

  • There’s no way Vince is doing Cena vs. Reigns unless one of them (RR) turns obviously heel in some form, or Cena is legit retiring. They aren’t going to do face-vs-face and risk one of them not getting over

The more I’m thinking about it, the more I miss having two top belts. It diversifies the top wrestlers a bit and gives more people something to go for so that it’s not focusing on a total of three dudes every 9 months

Then have Heyman and HHH cut some sort of deal, and have “Corporate Brock” beat Cena for the title.

Who else could they put the belt on now to have enough of a buildup for WM?

Then again, maybe they would want to downplay the world belt at WM, if my other crazy idea - the WM Main Event: Undertaker’s Last Match…against The Rock - happens.

The Rock has confirmed he’ll be making an appearance at WrestleMania this year, though I doubt he’ll be wrestling - he’s taking a day off from filming a movie to be there, and the producers probably wouldn’t allow him to work a match considering the risk of his getting injured and filming being delayed. He’ll probably just cut a promo that eats up half an hour or so of time.

Really, the only Undertaker dream matches that haven’t happened yet are 'Taker vs. Cena or 'Taker vs. Sting, so I’m thinking one of those happens this year - and since Sting’s career is probably over at this point, Cena’s the safer bet.

Heh. I just had a thought.

Daniel Bryan is a surprise entrant. The audience goes nuts. Yes chants and pointy fingers bounce like typhoon waves. Then Roman eliminates him. Dickest booking ever.

No, dickest booking ever would be to have the countdown to #30 go off and start playing “Cult of Personality”. Then have R-Truth come out and do a “My Bad”, saying that #30 is actually… oh, Bo Dallas or someone totally not over.