A couple of vacations have failed to hit my reset button, but do seem to confirm I’m not depressed-- I’m just burned out at work. (Because away from work, I’m happy as a clam!) I’ve been wading through articles on the subject, trying out different kinds of bandaids on this suppurating gunshot wound, wondering what to do next. I lack focus, I’m irritable, I can’t remember things, I’m irritable… Have any of you ever felt like this? Have any of you ever stopped? How did it happen? I could use some inspiration.
I’ve been dealing with that as long as I can remember… Wait, what was the question?
Just kidding. It has been a constant in my life, although probably not to the degree that you’re describing.
I’ve found that it helps to observe the most basic kind of health guidelines: Drink enough water, eat fruit several times a week (every day is better) and make sure you’re sleeping soundly enough (take steps to avoid digestive distress and excessive urination). Back off the caffeine, too, if that’s a problem.
Outside of that and addressing a different set of problems, if you’re stressed out by your job or something else to the point that you dread receiving a phone call or some kind of bad news, I’ve found relief through isolation (turn off your phone). About 20 years ago, before I even had a mobile phone, I took a long road trip. At the first small town where I stopped for the night, I had this overwhelming and inexplicable sense of peace. After a few days, I realized that it was because of the isolation. Even if there had been some kind of complication or bad news, it was not going to reach me because nobody knew where I was.
Yes.
For me it was realizing that I’m not the job.
It took leaving one place where I was a manager, and felt the the success or failure of each project was completely in my control. That if I worked hard enough and was good enough, then no matter what was thrown at me I could be successful. And that success made me a valuable person. And I was very good at my job, and by extension a very good person (or so I believed). Nevermind that I was working 60 to 80 hours a week and expected my crew to be right there by my side. The only thing that mattered was success.
It affected my home life. As well as my work life (you can imagine what it’s like to work with a manager who has no hesitation to put in long hours and expects everyone else to do the same).
I was at work one day, and basically calling everyone around me a failure, because they couldn’t keep up with me. And it dawned on me, that I was the only one with that attitude. And the old saying “if everyone around you is the problem, maybe it’s you” finally dawned on me.
So I left that job (not in the most graceful of ways, I might add, but in a fuck all y’all huff)
It wasn’t til I took my next job, as just one of the guys. And put in my 8 hrs and went home and didn’t worry about whether or not the project would be done (not that I slacked off, but I just had the attitude "not my circus, not my clowns) did I finally realize how much the whole thing was making me (and everyone around me) miserable. It was a very life perspective changing event for me. And one that I’m still struggling with 8 years later. But, I’m alot easier to get along with, now. And I’m a whole lot happier.
So…it can be done. Just look at yourself, and ask the question, what do I really want out of my job.
And then remember, it’s just a job. The world won’t end if you do it differently or leave all together.
The OP says there is a clear difference between being at work vs away from work. That’s a good start. The next question is if this has been at a string of jobs or only the current employment.
If it’s only the current job, consider whether the problem has something to do with the people at work or some other job-related cause. If it’s been the same way at several jobs - and still consistently different when away from work - then get thee to a qualified mental health professional.
Sounds like work-related anxiety. I’m not sure there is a simple solution to that. I had it, helped along by PTSD and a side order of depression, and it didn’t go away until I not only left my job, but got started well along the way to a new profession.
Which I realize is a bit impractical. Call it an upper bound on what may be required. Hopefully someone else can suggest less extreme measures.
Yes.
I gave my boss my two-week notice and got a job in a very different area of work.
Admittedly, that is extreme, but in my case it was very clear that the big problem was the job itself. Then again, it was in an area known to be extremely high stress and I had been in that job twice as long as the average person in that position.
I’m sure a lot of other people will come in with suggestions on how to cope without taking such drastic measures and that’s totally OK. If you can find a way to resolve the burnout while keeping your present job that’s great. If you can’t, however, finding a different job, yes, even an entirely different career, is also a choice. Absolutely think carefully about taking that step as it is disruptive, but there are times when it is the right choice.
Good luck. I hope you find a solution in the near future.
I’m burnt quite crispy. I ‘demoted’ at work from Physician Administrator to Physician and started working far closer to home, and that initially helped a lot, more than anything else I’d ever done to help cope. Then Covid hit 4 months later. Now my recovery plan is retirement. Meanwhile I just keep trying to do the next right thing.
I got completely burned out and “retired” from what had been occupying my efforts, then ten years later reassessed what had gotten me into it and what had worn me down, and jumped back in. (Details on request). So yes, sometimes there is recovery from burnout.
Not yet.
I got a boost about ten years ago when my company was opening up a new multi million dollar facility. I was hand picked out of thousands to go help get it started. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a boost to my ego.
Now ten years later, I’m just burnt. I don’t want to get involved in projects anymore, I just want to do my job and go home. And try not to think I’ve still got 15 more years of this shit to go.
I think a lot of people are in the wrong jobs for those particular people. This is bad for the people and very often bad for the work.
It might be the particular workplace; or it might be the type of the work itself. If you work indoors, you might need to work outdoors. If you work sitting at a desk, you might need physical work. If you work with a lot of others, you might need to work with fewer people. If your work involves mostly just doing the same thing, you might need work that involves more variety, or more problem solving.
Or, of course, the reverse for any of those things.
But if you’re fine when you’re not at work, it must have something to do with the work.
I was muy burned out. Then I read something like: “You’re not burned out, you’re frustrated with how things work, or don’t, at your business.”
And I realized It’s not me, it’s the workplace. Once I admitted that things were so bizarre at work that NO sane person could thrive there, I stopped beating myself up for not being able to cope.
So I’d say you have to change things at work (and your reactions to them… this might entail counseling and/or a lot of drinks with coworkers).
But if you can’t… (my problems were systemic, stemming from the Big Boss’s personality and micro-managing) … get out. I took way too long pulling the Band-Aid off slowly, but ended up with a job where I could work with minimal supervision. I was so much less stressed, it felt like I’d retired.
I’m not so sure you can really “recover” from burnout while you’re still working in the same job. I concur with the advice to find a different one if you can.
I tend to think burnout comes from messed up incentive systems at employers. Most people are striving to make more money/get promoted, and that’s why they care about what they’re doing. If it was merely working for the paycheck they’re already getting and trying not to be fired, they’d be a lot more chill and be less concerned.
But the problem is, people can’t control whether they get a raise or a promotion. So they bust their asses and put in a lot of mental effort into trying to control as much as they can and mitigate what they can’t in hopes that they’ll be promoted or get a raise.
At some point, this whole thing short-circuits; if you’re not being rewarded steadily and commensurately with what you’re perceiving as the effort and concern you’re putting into your job, you’ll eventually get burned out and disillusioned.
I would say talk to a mental health care professional, both to help you with the short term and the long term. Short term, you need to get the stress managed. Long term, you need to assess what you want to change and then how you want to get there.
Well, when my burnout was at it worst I found taking the supplement rhodiola helped me keep the feelings under control more. Its not a long term solution (that would be getting away from too much stress and responsibility), but I know for me it helped when things were really bad for me.
I’ve experienced burnout at different stages of my life, following different paths, yet I had to recognize and deal with it each time. The best thing is to get away from the work or situation that is burning you out, if possible. If not, you can still live with it a long time, and maybe even eventually get out of it, as things change over time, not just for you. Whatever you do, and wherever you end up, it needs to work for you and I sincerely hope you find your way there.
My personal burnout examples:
When a grad student many years ago, I felt burned out by the excessive workload, carried over from the feeling of being overburdened during my undergraduate years. (I had majored in both engineering and Japanese language.) My solution? Be lazy, coast, take my nose out of the books and just do the minimum in my classes for one semester. Fortunately I had built up enough “momentum” that I was able to do this without penalty (or GPA hit). I needed to take the time to enjoy my life a little, and that helped. I also started therapy to try to untangle the spaghetti of negative emotions that were bothering me.
Later in life, I had a very bad job that lasted way too long, over 11 years. At times it was actually traumatic and I had (yes really) something like PTSD. It was a small company run by a mentally ill guy, who made everyone miserable. He seemed really good at zeroing in on people and generating / feeding off of their negative emotions, like an emotional vampire. In this case, I added more and more work, especially stuff that kept me away from his direct supervision, in order to get by. This job happened while I was raising a baby and having to drive a long, trafficky daily commute. As always, things changed over time, including a lot of personnel changes at the company (more sympathetic ears / better bosses), and the guy got medicated, which helped a bit. Ultimately they fired me as part of a campaign of “let’s get rid of everybody but the CEO, because newer employees are more malleable” push, and I was liberated.
More recently, in my current “job,” my stress level has dropped A LOT even considering that I’m working toward a PhD in Aerospace Engineering later in life. Yes, this is less stressful than the two stories further up the page. And yet I don’t always feel motivated to do my work when others want me to. I find myself doing a lot of work “inside my head” when I’m away from the office, and then later writing down the synthesized stuff I come up with. So…you needn’t actually be at the office to be productive! I combat feelings of burnout by asking myself “Hm, is this it? Am I needing a mental holiday? Ok…let’s take a break.”
Thanks everyone. I’m especially interested in the personal anecdotes. I know that whether to stay in my current job or move on is a decision only I can make. But it’s useful to hear from folks who’ve made it to the other side, if only because that’s so hard to picture from here.
IMHO each of us owns part of being burned-out. It cannot be just the company/boss/coworkers/work itself sucks. We allow these things to persist for so long because there is some sort of reward, small as it may be, that makes change seem more daunting than just cruising along, even if miserable. Occasionally, we will reach a breaking point where risking a move is just better, but I think most of us just stay the course because of the paycheck, benefits, stability, etc.
I think careers are over-rated. Someone around here long ago wrote something that has really stuck with me: "It’s not ‘Do what you love and the money will follow.’ But should be ‘do what you are good at and earns you enough money to cover your responsibilities (yourself, others), and spend some of that on things you love to do.’ "
I know I am long burned-out on my career, and now it really is just my job. I do it as best I can and support people around me to the best of my ability, but truth be told, I am there for the paycheck (and of course, the health benefits). I get some anxiety when annual reviews come around - not that I think I performed poorly, but they always want to know “What do you want to do next? Where do you want to be in 5 years?” and I need to come up with a “Development Plan”. Look, I am rounding-third in my working life and I no longer have ambitions of climbing the ladder. I just want to do good work and go home. But NOOO, I need to have an aspirational development plan and identify new skills I want to become proficient at, so I just make up some BS stuff I know will never come to be to get by that stuff. Of course, telling the truth here would be detrimental to keeping my “job”.
TL/DR: only you can decide how much is enough, and if risking a move is worth it.
That’s one thing I do like about my current job - the company doesn’t have a problem with me wanting to stay where I am right now. If I change my mind they’re open to older workers climbing the ladder but it’s not a requirement. “Just there for the paycheck and benefits” does not mean I am not a reliable, good worker.
This. I still hold to my oath. I just am sick of bureaucratic BS, the modern medical system, Covid and covid deniers, vaccine refusers, and people who misuse apostrophes too often.