I’ve been working since I was 15, and in the full-time workforce since 1990 (with a brief break for grad school). The only break of more than a week or two was for recovery from a very nasty concussion that left me dizzy for months, and left me pretty much unable to multitask or retain information in any level of detail for more than a few seconds in the beginning (and sometimes not even that). I’m still not back to 100%, and I don’t know if I ever will be - it’s going on 4 years since the concussion, and I am much better than I was, but I really don’t have the cognitive stamina that I used to have pre-head whacking. Especially toward the end of the day and the end of the week, my concentration is shot to hell.
Work requires a lot of detail orientation, multitasking, and prolonged focus. And well, anyone who has been paying attention to anything at all knows that immigration hasn’t exactly been fun the past few years.
I’m tired and I want a sabbatical. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be in the cards. I know, I know - get in line, nobody wants to be working for nearly 50 years.
Sometimes Tom_Scud and I ask each other, “if we cashed out everything we owned, is there anywhere in the world where we could live on that for the rest of our lives?” So far the answer is “well, maybe in a village in India, but then we’re living in a village in India.”
Yes, we are keenly aware that many people are less fortunate and never get to retire at all. And if I got whacked in the head again, I genuinely may not be able to hold much of a job after that, given my prior experience. But sometimes I think maybe I should scale back my career ambitions (if I have any left) and do something less stressful and detail-oriented.
Is it possible you have type 2 diabetes? I have a job that requires a lot of focus with constant multi-tasking. Earlier in the year I felt as you do and went to the doctor and discovered I was solidly type 2 diabetic. The medicine for it worked amazingly fast and put me back on track.
I realize this occurred at the same time as the concussion but it’s a simple blood test or you could even find someone with a glucose meter who could check you for free. Make sure they use a new needle to prick your finger.
If you find yourself incapacitated long term then look into disability and early retirement.
I had an A1C in October when I had my last physical. It ain’t diabetes. And I’m not currently incapacitated, just not as sharp as I used to be pre-head whacking, or as I would like to be. (I face-planted so hard on concrete that I broke my nose and orbital bone.) If I whacked my head again, though, it might well be another story.
I’m just TIRED of being in the workforce. But who isn’t, I guess? Also my dad died a couple of months ago after a long illness, and we are still dealing with all the fallout from that. Part of the story could be anxiety/depression, too. I just really don’t feel like adulting these days, but it kind of comes with the territory. I just want to work in my garden, etc.
Ouch on the face plant into concrete. You didn’t mention your dad’s passing so that could be part of it. And I’m not going to harp on Type 2 but it hit me hard pretty quick. I don’t know how long it was building but I found myself tanking at work over a short period of time. I was fine in October but mentally stressed in January. I waited until March to see the Doctor.
I would go to the Doctor regardless because you’re not supposed to hit concrete with your head at any age. if you feel mentally out of it then make sure you’re OK. I’ve lost 2 friends who ignored medical signs. I even lectured one of them for a half hour over it.
I have a friend who has her own bankruptcy law practice. She’s in her mid-40s and being that her family owned a restaurant when she was growing up, I assume she’s been working since a young age too. She recently was diagnosed with ADHD and she says being on the medications and also having a diagnosis (so knowing how to treat her own limitations) has really helped her get better at her job and just generally feel more at ease.
That being said, with HER parents’ recent health issues, she is still feeling the stress of life. And the stress of having her own business. She’s decided to start looking for new job opportunities, where she doesn’t have to run a practice. Where she can just melt into a team. I think this is a very good decision for her.
All that being said…have you talked to any doctors about your cognitive issues? Is there any medication and/or therapy that can help? Have you considered ADHD even?
And yes, there’s no reason you can’t pivot your job. Teachers and nurses are doing it left and right, because of the current climate. From what anecdotes I’ve read, they seem to be much happier using their skills and training in a different way. You’re a competent, hard-working, multitasking professional. There’s probably a lot of jobs out there you can do that aren’t related to immigration. Or maybe different ones that ARE related to immigration but just not as demanding as what you do.
And heck, could you even pivot in to something completely unrelated yet less-paying? Can you work at the local garden center? Maybe the question isn’t completely “what do I want to do?” but more “what seems sort of interesting that is near me?” Maybe you need to network locally and see what kind of jobs even exist.
The concussion was in 2019 and I had lots of diagnosis and treatment for it from multiple providers, MRI, X-rays, speech therapy, etc. The #2 neurology department in the country tested me multiple times and said I was OK. (Or at least as OK as anyone.) I used to be better than OK, though!
Yep, in 2019 - 2020. They pronounced me more or less cured. I did therapy, and medication isn’t how this kind of issue is treated (the concussion, anyway). I think I am just burned out.
The death of a parent can hit you in different ways, including rethinking the direction of your life. If you can find someone you connect with, therapy could help with all the issues and maybe even help you figure out if you would be happier with different work.
Why do you one think this “sometimes”?
You’ve already answered your question.
Your career is NOT what you are…it’s something you do. And you’ve done it well for a couple decades—which is enough!!!
When somebody asks, you can still proudly tell them “I’m a lawyer, specializing in immigration law.” But after a fulfilling career doing that, I am also a cat lover and now I work with the humane society,"
You switched jobs. There is nothing to be embarrassed about , and nothing to apologize for, and (most importantly) no reason for you to lower your own sense of self-respect because you chose to switch jobs.
T
I would disagree. Your career is probably the single thing you will spend most of your life doing. It is the main thing that you do where you are good enough at it and where other people find enough value that they will pay you to do it. Much of your social network and where you live and other aspects of who you are will often be indirectly defined by your career. Most people can’t really be successful in a career for very long if that career is inconsistent with their values.
I think trying to pretend that your career isn’t a major part of who they are is what leads to all sorts of internal conflict and depression. It’s a big reason why people often feel lost or aimless after a major career change like retirement, leaving the military, or getting laid off. They basically have to become a different person. That’s often difficult for people.
I would imagine being an immigration lawyer is an important and fulfilling job that actually impacts people’s lives. You get to help people (I assume…unless you are an immigration lawyer who works for ICE or something). I think switching into something else is no small thing.
I’m sorta in the same boat. I’ll be 56 next month, and the thought of continuing to get up at 4:50 every morning for (at least) the next six years is somewhat depressing. And it’s not just that - the B.S. and politics at work makes me numb and fatigued. I’ve thought about quitting or doing something different, but doubt I would be able to make the same money. It’s a “golden handcuffs” situation.
After 30+ years of active employment, you ought to be allowed at least two weeks of vacation every year. If I were in your shoes and had no other option, I’d ask for unpaid vacation. Everyone needs to disconnect and unwind.
I’ve been forced into radical career changes several times in my working life (twice by advancing technology, once by lay-off)
So, no, my career is not what I’ve spent most of my life doing given I haven’t had the same career all that time. Even if I have spent most of my life working.
People identify with their jobs to different degrees. After involuntary career changes I don’t as much as I used to.
I used to have a corporate job that paid considerably more than I currently earn - hence my earlier posts about flying airplanes as a hobby - but in quite a few ways I’m happier where I am now. I have chosen to forgo climbing the corporate ladder where I am and might very well “coast” until my planned retirement 10+ years from now (I always planned to work full time until 70 for a number of reasons).
It’s OK to step off the rat-race, competitive, DO MORE!!! hamster wheel if you choose to. There are consequences to doing so, but they may not be prohibitive if you also have gains.
In sum - no, you don’t have to deal with “this crap” for another 10-15 years. You will have to deal with some crap, but it doesn’t have to be the particular pile of crap you’re currently looking at. Looking into crap that is less smelly and stressful may be a very good thing for you.
At 50, I don’t really hate what I do (IT/business consulting). Sometimes I actually enjoy it. But not now.
I’ve been at my current job 2.5 years and I’ve started two threads describing how even though it seems like it’s going well, something didn’t quite sit right with me. Well now I know why.
It seems like every time I join a company, it’s at the height of a 1-4 year cycle. When I started, things were great. A year ago my manager was talking about positioning me for a promotion. Now I feel like I’ll be lucky if I’m laid off with half the company in a couple months because we can’t sell enough work. I’m stuck leading the same sort of shitty Dilbert projects that usually cause me to leave other firms because some dumb ass salesperson undersold a project he didn’t understand with shitty terms just to close the deal. Which is usually just another sign of financial desperation.
Actually I meant “luck if I’m NOT laid off”. Perhaps a Freudian slip indicating how much I’m sick of it.
What I can’t seem to figure out is why all these companies I work for never seem to have viable businesses for more than a couple years (at least in the group I’m in). And these aren’t fly by night companies.
I agree with you. I personally feel that too many people equate themselves and their careers, and their successes and failures in such they take as reflecting who they are as a person. I think that leads to internal conflict and depression. My job is just something I do so I can actually enjoy my life and time off. It is not me. But I do understand some/many people identify themselves much more by what they do, and it is natural for people with this disposition to feel great stress when they lose or need to change their working identity.It’s tough.
I actually have vacation booked for next week, and had a week off a couple of weeks after my dad died (planned long before he died). If it hadn’t already been booked anyway, I might have had to take the time in any case, because my brain wasn’t working right and hadn’t been in months. Also, we have been understaffed for ages and lacking in admin support due to firm politics, which is a whole different rant.
That led to my boss shifting a bunch of work to me midstream of a type that I had very little hands-on experience with, and the work was in a state of disarray. (Because he didn’t have any more bandwidth to deal with it than I did.) So because we were both overwhelmed for all sorts of reasons and there was really nobody else to help until recently, I made a couple of mistakes that he didn’t catch, and now we are scrambling to fix them.
(IANAL, and so by definition it’s my boss’ job to review my work before it goes out to clients or the government. We are both knowledgeable and conscientious people who are just stretched too thin. He’s a decent human being, or I might have thrown in the towel a long time ago. The past few years have been incredibly burnout-inducing for anyone in the immigration arena who actually wants to help people - often, even if you do everything 100% perfectly, your client still gets screwed.)
Part of what makes me hesitate to switch careers is a) I do actually enjoy helping people; b) I think this job is a good match for my skillset; and c) I am not sure what else I could do that wouldn’t be a gigantic pay cut and/or equally exhausting and soul-sucking in some other way.
And hey, I really do just need a break. It’s been a hell of a couple of years.
I began working at age 11. I have taken a few two week long vacations in the past. Normally I will take off a week at a time. I have found that having something on the books for an upcoming vacation is extremely helpful to have something to look forward to. And as soon as we come back from a vacation, we begin planning the next one, even if it’s six months or more out. It’s great for mental health for me.
Early in my career, I would delay planning vacations because I was worried, what if something comes up at work. I wanted to be viewed as a team player and ready to go whatever the issue may be. I finally took the approach, that I’m planning time for me and my family. If a work emergency comes up where I am needed and I have to cancel my vacation, then I will expense to my employer any cancellation fees etc. that I incur because I have to cancel my plans. Over the last 35 years, I’ve only had to do that 2 or 3 times.
Just put a sticky on the side of screen: DJT is looking at 20 to Life.
Seriously, can you travel in your job or move to a different office? Getting out of the local rut can do wonders. Can you alter your hours, do some work at home? Anything to change up the routine.
From the time I started med school to the time I retired (44 years later), I was averaging 60+ hour work weeks. I once took 3 weeks off in between jobs, but otherwise seldom took longer than a week to 10 days off at a time. I loved working with patients, but grew to hate the systems/bureaucracies/contradictions associated with modern health care both in the private and public sector. I was horribly burnt out before covid hit, and nearly unrecognizable to myself by the time I stopped working.
Since retiring a year ago, I have no need to re-invent myself so far. I’m still resting, relaxing, reading, and doing just what I want to do, which frankly isn’t a lot. I’m ok with that. So’s my wife, fortunately. I’m stunned lasted as long as I did. And I support anyone looking to exit the horrible rat race that work has become for so many.