This is an at-the-end of the tether rant. Bad times are temporary and good folks cope? Well, how long? When is “enough”? In the past 4 years:
- my mom died
- finally ditched the drunk, womanizing Ex
- a feral, conscienceless loser drove me from one job
- undertook rehabbing a sick but worthy organization
- inherited all the sickness and baggage of said org.
- cleaned up work messes, built new facilities, shmoozed those pissed off by predecessor, etc.
- kept up landmark house
So why the cry-in-the-dark? Too many little things, finally landing together.
I can’t believe I’m whining like this, firmly denying I had a breaking point. But I’m scared to death I’ve reached mine. To wit:
- worked myself into heat prostration over the weekend; even w/ the meds from the doc, still throwing up today.
- the construction project went to hell; tractor-trailer stuck across a major hwy, police pissed, rain keeps pouring and I’m still barfing.
- staff panics, call Board members–and my eval is next week.
- construction management firm is unreacheable
- Gateway sends back my laptop–so screwed up I have to completely reformat the C drive and reload everything.
My job is worth doing, but at the moment I’m just too damned tired. What I really want to do is say goodbye to the politics, stress and brouhaha and just simplify; blow it all off and find a better way.
This is so soppy; I’m just too tapped out, exhauseted and drained to figure out what to do. The job pays well–but is this worth it? When is it time to stop trying?
Veb