Beats me what kind of man I am, Phouka. Starting an argument a couple weeks ago with my Ex-, right in front of the kids, says that I have my issues, too.
If history remembers me as well-intentioned but occasionally flawed, it’ll probably be a good start…
Looking over the other threads on this section make me feel kinda petty, too. My problems are just molehills compared to Ayesha and her family.
I’m also in the midst of this same thing, Belrix. I read your previous threads, and often felt like commenting, but some of them hit a little too close to home.
I’m the one without my son right now, because I’m working two jobs to keep myself afloat, and to pay off credit card bills that my soon-to be-ex-husband ran up. I work 11 hours a day, and it was easier for my son to live with his father, since I don’t get off till 9:00 pm or later.
My ex moved out, and in with his new girlfriend (well, the woman he’d been seeing behind my back) and seems to be on Easy Street. He pays no rent, AFAIK, and I don’t know what he contributes toward the household finances there.
I’m the one stuck paying off credit card bills (the charge cards were in my name, because he’d messed up his own credit), paying rent (and all the associated bills) and worrying about my daughter’s college tuition.
As I mentioned in your recent thread, I’m seeing someone new, and it’s wonderful, but my son seems to be having trouble accepting it. He’s quiet and uncommunicative when we’re all together. I think he just needs time, but I don’t know how to draw him out.
Hugs to both of you, Belrix and Cartooniverse.
I wish that whenever a troubled-marriage-with-kids thread was opened, that all of the people who so blithely recommend that you dump the spouse post-haste could read this thread. I’m not saying you should have stayed together for the kids or anything- I read those threads and you were right to end it. (Although I do believe I warned you she’d leave as soon as she had another guy and it wouldn’t be good for you.) I’m just saying that a lot of people don’t realize what the emotional aftermath will be like for the whole family, until it happens.
For the record, I think your wife is a skank. From what you’ve said about her fidelity, dating habits, and household cleanliness, I’m telling you I wouldn’t piss on her if she were on fire. Be prepared for a big fight from the kids about going back to her once you’ve gotten half-time custody.
I am so sorry.
I know I have to leave my marriage (what’s left of it) but threads like this (not that they’re not needed) make it that much harder.
I hope you find some peace. Please know that you are influencing your kids, no matter how it looks now-they are absorbing values from you and contrasting them with their mother’s. Don’t be surprised if they do express disapproval (later on) of their mother’s lifestyle. Kids can be very severe on the adults in their lives.
Re the Grammy SoandSo–she’s just doing what she needs to survive. She was told to call this woman Grammy SoandSo, so she does. It’s too much to ask for the kids (whose loyalties are split anyway) to make a stand. I know you know this, and I know it still rankles. I’m sorry.
Well tie a turban on me and call me Carnack.
They’re moving in together this weekend.
…and they’re going to get married, she says, but don’t have a date, yet.
I’m trying to stay ambivalent about this.