He and Jon are actually a steady item, believe it or not.
I’m glad to hear the story will unfold over several issues. Veronica may have the bucks, but she’s a nasty, shallow bitch. Archie and Betty make a better couple, hands down.
Reggie and Veronica can hook up and see who can outspend the other on hair products.
Archie=Lust
Jughead=Gluttony
Veronica=Greed
Moose=Sloth
Reggie=Pride
Betty=Envy
Principal Weatherbee=Wrath
Has anyone made a porn parody of Riverdale? I think there’s something in that…
You mean Principal Weatherbee=Asshole
What a clueless, incompetent douche, much like Principal Belding on “Saved by the Bell.”
We all know this is a hoax. Archie “loves” Betty, but is attracted to Veronica because she is exotic (i.e., she has black hair!), but will ultimately fall back to his lame chickenshit, unoffensive, cookie-baking sweetheart. Why are these girls fighting over him in the first place? He’s a bloody ginger!
Sorry, I know you’ve got your post peppered with smilies, but I must respond to this seriously.
There IS NO five years after Archie’s comic book life. That life is a moment in time, like a fly embedded in a piece of amber.
I’m goin’ with the last page of the six-series comic being a splash page of Bob Hartley waking up in Chicago, and telling Emily about this unbelieveable dream he just had.
Really? I would have thought it would be on a swanky train heading for Zürch; Veronica can afford something like that.
Between Archie’s gullibility and Veronica’s underhanded efforts it’s a wonder Betty gets time with him at all!
Thinking of broadcast media?
Well, it is popular among Xian youth groups.
…rushes to take out a trademark on the name “Supermormon”…
My little brother was reading the book earlier this decade, actually. Not regularly, but when he had time to kill at summer camp maybe five or seven years ago. I never understood why he did that, but based on what I’m reading in this thread, maybe Archie’s not as clean-cut as I thought.
In a comic book? The devil you say.
Call names all you like—I’d rather see Archie with Betty (unless a story line is involved). I’m surprised Mr. Lodge lets Veronica see Archie at all, given Archie’s clumsiness and callow attitudes. She deserves Reggie.
Rule 34: if it exists, there is porn of it.
I bet Veronica is absolutely wild in bed and doesn’t even bother taking her leather miniskirt off before getting freaky. Betty on the other hand, is much more of an in-the-dark under-the-covers type of gal and would be like “Are you sure that goes in there?!?!”
Good choice Archie.
And Veronica, if it doesn’t work out… give me a call.
Fifty years ago I read an 8-page “Tijuana Bible” that featured all the characters from Archie. The final panel with Miss Grunday was unforgettable!
Whatever it was, you can find better/worse/stranger on the Web.
Dan DeCarlo, who created the classic look of the Archie characters, did a lot of pin-up cartoons as well. Often those girls look an awful lot like Betty and Veronica, but without quite as many clothes on. So not only has there always been Riverdale porn, some of it was by the same guy!
–Cliffy, who’s always been a Veronica man
There’s a collection of his pin-up art on Amazon.
Yes, I own one.
National Lampoon once did a “where are they now” parody narrated by Jughead, who became a hippie and later a heroin addict. Veronica was a Paris Hilton style jetsetter who had a series of playboy boyfriends. Betty married an alcoholic blue-collar guy and was living in a trailer park with six kids. Reggie was a gay cokehead Hollywood agent. Moose was a medal-bedecked Green Beret. Archie was drafted and sent to Viet Nam, where he received a head wound. He passed away a couple of years ago.
Actually Fantagraphics has published a few now. I don’t own any, but I’ve flipped through the first one a couple times, and it’s really great – sexy and funny. I don’t know about the floppies these days, but the digests usually still have a DeCarlo story or two, and the draughtsmanship is outstanding.
–Cliffy
I’m not a huge fan of Ronnie, but why would you inflect Mantle on her?
As to porn parodies of Archie, you can’t forget Cherry (FKA Cherry Poptart, until Kellogg’s kicked up a stink). Not so much a parody of the characters, but the general feel of the comics, including a pretty good approximation of the Archie house style (ie: DeCarlo’s style).