I think this is a very valid point; I think we’re pretty much educated to think women being ‘nice’ are just that, being ‘nice’, otherwise every time someone is nice, we’d drag 'em back to the cave. Society wouldn’t work so well if people couldn’t be ‘nice’ without a personal agenda.
So when they are ‘nice’ because they’re ‘interested’ rather than just being ‘nice’, it runs kind of counter-intuitive for men.
Or summin . . .
Since your opinion of women has degraded anyways (I guess I know THAT feeling), ask her out, and expect the worst. Have no expectations what-so-ever (sort of a ‘what do I have to lose’ attitude) and if nothing else, maybe you’ll meet some of her friends if it doesn’t work out with her.
I’m eager to hear how this works out! Maybe I just need some inspiration.
As far as being clueless goes - I’m not so sure. From what I’ve seen/observed, women are unpredictable, making decisions based on some random emotional state that results in illogical actions…and these are girls that AREN’T manipulative!!!
We are? And we do? :rolleyes:
And I suppose that every single decision concerning a relationship made by a man has had sound logical reasoning behind it?
Well, okay not every girl Angua…plus you’re not in the US, where I personally feel it’s probably ‘worse’ (I dated girl from Austria who was very unlike any descirption I made above).
Just out of interest, what makes you say this?
I ask, because when I broke up with my boyfriend, he accused me of the same thing - being emotionally unstable and irrational, whereas I’d thought about it for a very long time, and come to a very rational conclusion - we were no good for each other, so it was time to part ways.
I just love being dumped into a sterotype bucket. I am from the USA, Texas to be exact. Not all of us are whiney, sniveling, manipulative, backstabbing females. Some of us actually have a head on our shoulders, are very independent and look for partners of equal attributes. Beauty and brains are a dangerous mixture.
yeah, I do realize it goes both ways, I think it just depends on one’s own observations and experiences - I was just relating my own to bubba in the OP.
Did your boyfriend accuse you of those things BECAUSE you broke up with him, or is that the REASON you broke up with him? (or neither?)
I do have endless stories of confusing behavior by women, most recently involving my roomate who was happily involved in a long-term relationship (almost 3 years) with a seemingly wonderful person. One day, she called him out of the blue, says it’s over, then FOUR MONTHS LATER we learn that she’s married her neighbor. I mean, wtf is that? Actually, that’s happened to 3 of my friends. How were they to know? Personally, I wonder if I’d be able to endure something like that after my own experiences, so better just to avoid the possibility, as I think bubba may have been hinting at. . .
The former, very much so. The reasons I broke up with him are long and complicated, and I discussed them some time ago in a MPSIMS thread.
Now, I just get (jokingly) accused of being incoherent!
Covered in fork marks?
Bubba? I read your OP and I came up with an idea, but be aware… my idea of fun is really different to that of most people OK?
Now, this idea of mine is honestly only going to work if you truly aren’t interested in the woman at a sexual level. You know, being a guy, there’s an old saying about “any port in a storm” etc… but the research shows that basically, humans give off certain subliminal scents which we either find repulsive, ambivalent, or insanely “must have”. Some folks refer to these as pheromones and such stuff, but the research is out there. The most attractive “potential mates” are those we click with at a “scent level” because it evens out the gene pool apparently.
So my point here is this - if the woman in question had that scent which drives you nuts - you would have noticed by now. That is, there would be something about her when she walks by which drives you nuts. And you didn’t mention that in your OP so I’m judging that basically, you’re kinda ambivalent about her and that’s cool - nothing wrong with that.
So simply tell the 3rd party that yeah… you find the woman attractive and that you’re interested and that when you get the chance you’ll call her. And never make the call.
I know, I know… it’s a bastard thing to do… but hell… think of all the things women can do to a man’s self esteem and it’s pretty mild really in that context.
No one will be able to say you did anything wrong.
The good news is that you are not alone in the clueless department. It’s a gift that men have and it applies to everything female.
The bad news, and I say this from experience, her alarm clock probably just went off and you’re it. If you’re ready to settle down (hypothetically) then you should be good to go. I would broach the subject of children on the first date. Don’t be obvious but you could mention your own age and that you were thinking of settling down.
And email is a great office ice breaker. Doesn’t have to start as a date email.
JM2C.
Holy cripes, when did this thread degenerate into “all women are devious, manipulative ball-busters?”
News flash for you guys who think all women are the same and do the same things to guys - you need to start dating a different type of woman. You know how you and your guy friends are all different and indivduals? Well, women are kinda the same way, seeing how as we’re human and all.
(Okay, now if I can just get that crowd scene from “The Life of Brian” out of my head…)
Goodness knows. But I was wondering the same.
“We are all individuals”
“Yes!”
“We are all unique!”
“Yes!”
Sorry, couldn’t resist. 