Are people more attracted to 'foreignness' in a mate?

Factual Questions
1

A number of threads lately have discussed posters’ attraction to various foreign accents, etc, when meeting people. I know that I tend to be interested in people who are different in hair, skin colour, language, national origin, etc, from myself.

Obviously for each person there will be limits to the degree of difference with which they will be comfortable. And of course sufficient difference makes it hard to communicate.

But there are the stereotypes of the ‘exotic foreigner’ who sweeps one off one’s feet… is this a manifestation of something deeper, some genetic predisposition perhaps, that tries to spread one’s genes as far as possible?

So… do people in general tend to be more attracted to others who are different than themselves?

2

I don’t know, ask my Chinese wife :slight_smile:

3

This weekend I was at a graduation party for the girlfriend of a friend of mine. She’s Russian, and the party was mostly international students, many of them Russian. Yowza. Maybe it’s just that accents are cute. Or maybe it’s that the process of communication with someone who doesn’t have complete mastery of your language is more fun and exciting.

4

Good question, Sunspace!

I don’t really understand it either but I am almost certain that these preferences are not arbitrary- that is, being ‘exotic’ alone is not enough to create attraction.

Some people say that the reason so many white guys like asian women is because they are ‘exotic’. If this is true, why don’t they like Eskimo or Kenyan women, who are even more ‘exotic’? And why don’t you hear about white women with asian men as often as white men with asian women??

5

This is just a WAG, but in response to why white guys like asian women is probably becuase on average, asian woman conform to the generalized western idea of what is pretty in a woman - Thin, small, light skinned, etc. That, and many asian women (particularly the japanese) have very western tastes themselves.

But again, this is just a WAG.

6

My SO has a certain fascination for Asian women. I have no clue why but I know she isn’t alone.

My father is one of those white guys who is with an Asian woman, Surreal. You’re definitely correct in noticing that there are far more white men with Asian women than Asian men with caucasian women. I think there are probably a few reasons for this…

Many of the couples who are CG/AW (Caucasian guy/Asian woman) are probably like my folks - my father met my mother while in the army and in Korea. So of the many couples that met through the armed forces, most/many are probably Caucasian men who met Asian women. That’s probably one reason.

Second…many women like men who are slightly taller, bigger, etc. Asian men aren’t all that big, for the most part, and so it may simply be that most caucasian women don’t find many Asian men attractive.

Third…cultural. This depends, I believe, partly on if the Asian person is 1st generation or 2nd generation. My sister is dating an Asian man and the FIRST thing my mother asked was, “first generation or second??” She was concerned that if he was first generation, he might carry over some of the cultural beliefs about women being subordinate or whatever. Women have such a different role in Asian culture and she didn’t want my sister in a relationship with a male who still felt that way. As it is, Asian culture has changed quite a bit so a first generation Asian male very well may no longer feel this way.

This all may change because young people don’t have all these influences, etc. But yes, for the most part, mostly you see Asian women and Caucasian men, not vice versa.

My girlfriend jokes that she gets the best of both worlds because while I look Asian (she thinks I look fully Asian and Asian people think I look completely Caucasian), I grew up in the States and am just as American as herself. Mainly, we don’t have huge cultural clashes but because I grew up with a Korean mother (who didn’t come to the states until she was 25), we still get the cultural influence (i.e. Great Korean Food!).

You know what’s odd? I don’t find Asian people even remotely attractive. Dunno why.

Tibs.

7

Nature Genetics recently shook things up when they published a study that appears to show that women can smell differences in the male immune system, and are more attracted to those males who have the most genetic differences.

If this theory stands up to review, then the attractiveness of a foreign mate may be more than just a sexy accent.

8

It seems that marrying outside of one’s tribe would be genetically reinforced, since the genetic mixing would produce healthier children(or, rather, would less likely to produce genetic problems).

9

Another advantage of marrying outside on one’s tribe: foreignness disguises eccentricity. :slight_smile:

Surreal, where I come from, Eskimo women are not foreign… and BTW, the proper word is “Inuit”.

China Guy, am I to guess that you are not of Chinese ancestry? I guess as much from your posts, but I’m not certain.

So does this mean that I might have a much better chance of finding a mate at the conference in Sweden next year than I do here at home? :slight_smile: ("At home, I’m just another goofball. Over here… ‘I Am Canadian!’ ") And it’s not like that sort of thing hasn’t happened before in our family… :smiley:

10

Yes, I’d agree that there are probably subconcious genetic reasons for being attracted to “exotic foreigners”. With such a big difference in genes, there is probably a much lesser chance of getting two recessive genes for health disorders. And studies have shown that women are attracted to men for reasons related to the potential health of their offspring.

From my personal observation, children resulting from such “mixed marriages” are usually very good looking. I wonder if any studies have been done on the immunity & general health of such offspring…

11

I have a foreign accent and women in the States find it very appealing. They think I am more sophisticated and polite. God knows that’s not true, but if it helps to get women, then I certainly won’t complain.

12

Maybe it’s the cynicism or xenophobia talking, but I tend to have no interest in foreign men, except maybe the British or Americans (and do they even count? Canada is pretty much a blend between the two). I would much rather have a man quote the Simpsons than recite French poetry to me.

13

Just popping in to welcome Voetsack to the Boards. Carry on dancing, all.

14

Uh, do the french even count as being foreign?

I thought that they were just tallied up as being annoying. :slight_smile:

Seriously though, same hemisphere of origin, just that our (north American bound) ancestors where more gutsy (or beat upon) then the wimps that stayed back. :slight_smile:

15

I have a BIIIIIIIIIG thing for guys with accents (almost any accent), but I think it’s because the accents usually come with interesting life experiences and a sensitivity to intercultural issues, which are both things I’m very fond of.

16

I think it’s just a case of the grass being greener on the other side…

17

White bread no crust decendant of Arkansas white trash.

I went to Australia and was simply fawned over by just about everyone with my California accent.