Are there sex toys for your pets?

During lunch, my friend and I got to talking about how her fixed female dog seems to calm down from her typical hyperness when around other dogs. I suggested that maybe she’s having sex with those dogs.

That got me thinking: are there sex toys for dogs? Maybe a little vibrator shaped like a bone? She said that if I tried to use such a thing on her dog, it’ll probably bite me, but I told her it would be ok as I would simply turn it on and tell her to sit on it.

And no, human sex toys that you simply use on your pets don’t count

WTF. This thread is a perfect example of shit that should stay inside your head and doesn’t necessarily need to be a thread on SDMB.

Half the appeal of anonymous internet message boards is that you can ask the crazy questions that pop into your head without weirding out anyone that matters.

Anybody typing Google is your friend for this question deserves whatever they Google.

When I went to the Museum of Sex in NYC they had a plastic dog-shaped manequin that your dog could hump. Dunno about female dogs, but a brief google returned this with a link to a 404 page. So they must exist.

Never understood why someone would post just in a thread just to bitch about it.

In other words you’re bitching about a thread for toys for bitches.

I spewed my coffee just on reading the thread title. Once again the SDMB introduces me to a thought that never would have occurred to me in a hundred years.

As for the OP’s question, I’m guessing the answer might be found in the realm of animal husbandry. Maybe such things readily available, assuming your pet is a thoroughbred horse or champion bull?

I don’t know if they have one for dogs.

However, cats and rabbits ovulate only when they are sexually stimulated, and ovulation will bring the heat cycle to an end. So vets and breeders will sometimes use a Q tip to give the screaming queen what she so desperately needs.

infinite-cat - Petside Not for the squeamish.

<mod> Also, ladyfoxfyre, your post was a perfect example of threadshitting. Don’t do it again. No warning issued, just a moderation note.</mod>

do we count the stuffed puppy that my friend’s King Charles spaniel likes humping?

You won’t need roto-rooter when you spay and neuter.

Gizmodo has your answer.

ETA: But still no source for brain bleach.

Yeah, spay/neuter is my solution, too. Some breeders, though, want to bring a cat or rabbit out of heat without breeding them on this cycle. I’ve had a few cats in heat around the house, usually when I’ve just taken them in, and the poor things are miserable. I’ve never taken a Q tip to one of them, though.

I used to have a friend who was a vet tech, and he claimed that there were glass or plastic rods that vets and breeders kept around specifically to use on cats and rabbits. I never knew when he was pulling my leg or not, so I am not sure if this is true. And I don’t want go Googling, because I might find the answer!

In breeding horses, an artificial vagina, generally used with a phantom mare is pretty common. You can even google to find films of them in use on the internet (equine porn?).

But NOT on thoroughbred horses – that is one of the breeds that does not allow artificial insemination.

I will pay good money to see someone adopt that as their user name.

Do you have a pet sow? If so, the Danes know what to do.

Do they actually have people stand around watching the horses get it on?

Absolutely.
Generally 1 person leading the mare, and at least 1 at the end of the stallion’s lead. Generally this is done in a special ‘breeding stall’, which is a safe & comfortable place – nice foam padding, etc.

And they do more than just watch. Usually one of the handlers has to hold the mares’ tail out of the way, and often (especially with young stallions) someone has to grab the stallions’ penis and help aim it correctly into the mare. (Plus of course, washing it beforehand and after.)

Horses can also be ‘pasture bred’. This is where the mare & stallion are just turned out together in the same pasture, and the stallion breeds the mare naturally. But even then, someone generally watches them, at least the first time, to make sure the mare accepts the stallion and doesn’t kick at him.

Pasture breeding often is a more sure way of ensuring pregnancy (because the stallion usually covers the mare several times a day during her most fertile days), but there is more risk of injury to the horses, especially the stallion. So it is mostly done with horses that know each other, like mares and a stallion that live on the same farm. This is not as common with thoroughbreds, because they are often outcrossing to somebody else’s stallion, with different bloodlines. Also, a stallion can wear himself out on a single mare in pasture breeding – for a high-demand thoroughbred stallion, this is a waste of resources – they will be hand bred.

My Mom’s female Yorkshire Terrier had a rubber ball that she would hump. She had been spayed, so it wasn’t heat - she just really enjoyed it.

The combination of the action and the deadly serious expression on her face was hilarious.

Pallas, I hope not.

Would it be inappropriate to have a stallion rutting on a phantom mare at my funeral?