We love each other dearly, are compatibile, a lot a like but . . .
We both no that our love is completely impractical. We both think we are insane for feeling it under the circumstances. He is 24, I am 34 and he lives in CA and I live in GA. (yes, we have met in person and have spent real time together)
And we are calling it off . . .
And we miss each other so much . . .
Are we perhaps throwing away something that we may never find again?
I have a pair of friends (well, actually, only one of them is still talking to me) who are about 19 and 25 (no huge difference, I know), but they have the same situation.
If you’ve seriously talked it over, and decided it’s best not to be together, than I think heresiarch is right - the feelings can’t disappear in an instant. Hell, I have first hand experience. You just have to wait.
Now, now: sometimes it’s easier to ask strangers than people who know you. After all, we have no subjective interest in the matter one way or the other, whereas her friends and family do (“Move all the way across the country? Are you crazy?” “He’s too young for you!” “Go for it–you only live once!”
“Why can’t you find someone here?” “It’s so romantic!” “You’re not living in a fairytale, you know.” Ech).
Hey, when I was twenty, I went out with a woman in her forties for awhile. We had a great fuckin’ time. No, we’re not still together. But, not for incompatibility reasons, other than I was a wild fucker and didn’t see myself gettin’ tied down for a long time. It took nearly 20 years later for me to tie the knot.
Follow your heart! or better yet, tell him to follow his, to GA. Odds are, you’re more established than he is, right?
I think you did the right thing. “I might never find someone/something like this again” is, in my opinion, a very bad way to make decisions about relationships. Sometimes timing just doesn’t work out. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. It sucks, but it’s often better to be realistic and move on.
If you chase every spark of love at the cost of other parts of your life (i.e. job, friends, etc.), you get burned that much worse if it doesn’t work out.