Uh, nothing like what you described that happened to your friend can happen without permission (exactly who was it that was having sex with this guy’s wife and getting her pregnant?). Used to be, you didn’t have a choice, male or female. Man and woman get married, have kids, guy goes to work, supports family, woman stays home, raises kids.
Seems like your friend made his choice for good or ill. If he’d wanted a different kind of wife, he could have held out for one. He didn’t, they got married, she got pregnant and then did what you were traditionally expected to do. Remember that child care costs money too - and if the wife didn’t stay home, what kind of care could they afford? I seem to remember that nurses’ salaries back then were pitiful, and have only gotten better since other work fields that paid better became more open to women.
As for the guy in question: good for his kids, maybe not for him. Once you have kids, doing the right thing revolves around what’s best for them, not yourself. Making prudent choices will never be a trend nor go out of fashion. Sounds like if he doesn’t like his life now, he didn’t make 'em at the start and he’s reaping what he sowed.
Morever, his life ain’t your problem.
If it hadn’t been for my presence, my husband could never had gone to graduate school. I supported us through it. I’m not alone in that. The thing is, our relationship is a partnership and no one is expected to haul the whole load, either emotionally or financially. We pick and choose who can do what best when, and it works. Not all relationships are like ours, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t fair when it comes to who contributes what. It’s just that we’ve been lucky that there’s more choices now about who contributes what. If it had been frowned upon that I support the two of us while he went back to school, it would have been detrimental to both of us in the long run.
If I were you, if you don’t like the kind of women you are dating, I’d look real close at how I am meeting people, and make a change. And don’t expect to look for a meal ticket yourself. Judging from how you have worded your post, I wouldn’t want to date you at all. You seem to expect the worst out of women, and what you expect will be what you get.
Oh, and what the fuck does your friend’s wife being fat have to do with anything??? I don’t remember hearing in any marriage vows that there is a weight requirement either way.