Now, I know I’m going to get a whole lot of negative response to this, from both male and female… I get it all the time.
My beef is chivalry. Which, in my opinion can be also said as chauvinism.
I’m what some call a militant feminist, and although it’s never been officially recognized, I prefer the term equalist. My theory is that if women want equality, equal pay scales, equal opportunity etc., we have to be equal everywhere else, too.
For example, it bugs me when guys open doors for me. They aren’t THAT heavy, and I can do it myself. I want to be treated EQUALLY, not worse OR better.
For some reason this sort of irks me too. It’s one thing to just hold the door as you go through so it doesn’t slam in my face; or if I’m loaded down with packages or something. But rushing to beat me too the door, then glaring at me while I get there in my own sweet time is mega-annoying.
No, it’s common courtesy when someone holds the door for someone else 'cause it’s nice, or convenient, or they’re holding packages or something. Common courtesy I am NOT opposed to. What I AM opposed to is a man holding a door for a woman BECAUSE she is a woman.
You are supposed to glare when you flirt? Damnit. I knew I was doing something wrong. Woohoo, thanks for the tip. Gone are the days of drinks being thrown in my face!
Now, if a guy holds a door open for you and says, “There ya go, little girlie”, then you’re well within rights to consider him an asshole.
But otherwise, how do you tell? Mind reading? Immediate assumption that because someone is male, they’ll only hold doors open for women? Have you been able to watch this specific door-holder on dozens of occasions, and specifically noted that he always holds the door open for women, but never or rarely holds the door open for men?
Next time I see you walking into a building near me, I’ll be sure to time it perfectly to allow the door to slam right in your face. That way you won’t be, like, offended or anything.
Just don’t look at me funny when, if it’s a set of double doors, I open up the next one for you. I am, after all, only returning the favor. And thanks to you, I got there first.
…where any person, regardless of gender, is deemed lucky to have a door opened for him (or her, as the case may be).
[pause while I don abestos shorts] I enjoy chivalry - it is pleasant, archaic, harmless, often refreshing - I’ve always equated it with civilization and manners.
I’m confused. How do you tell when someone is holding the door to be nice as opposed to holding the door because you’re a woman? I hold the door for lots of people, regardless of gender. And personally, if I was holding the door for some one and they knew it but then “took their own sweet time” getting there, it would piss me off, too.
Gentlemen (and ladies), I appreciate your efforts in holding doors for me, regardless of whether I’m carrying packages or not. Do not be deterred by the fact that some people (or both sexes) are willing to take as insults actions that manifestly were not intended to be.
And, as a non-militant feminist, let me just add that it is idiocy by “militant” feminists such as the OP that makes all feminists look like unreasonable hens that may safely be ignored as a bunch of loonies. That’s a heck of a lot more dangerous to the cause of women, IMO, than the occasional door being held open.
I open the door for both men and women because I was raised
properly.
LaurAnge, nobody likes a shrill feminist. If a man opnes a door for you, he’s being courteous. A well-mannered person
says, “Thank you.” Being impolite to someone who has performed a courteous act isn’t progressive or feminist, it’s just rude.
My parents brought me up to say please, thank you, hold doors for everyone (but particularly people with shopping and pregnant women*) and give up my seat on public transport to ‘those who need it more than me’ etc.
Watch ‘Due South’ to see how to behave.
*if I ever see a pregnant man, I’ll hold the door open for him too…
I guess the right thing to do is keep walking and phase right through the door without opening it? Because I sure as hell can’t think of another thing to do with the door.
– Zilch