Jodi:
You’re not? 
I’ve been inspired. I think I’ll open a thread along these lines in IMHO. (No, I don’t have a link. I haven’t posted it yet.)
Personally, I like it when guys open doors for me. I think it’s nice. I don’t feel that they’re doing it just because I’m a woman I think they’re doing it to be polite. Now, if they started laying their coats over a puddle of water so I wouldn’t get my feet wet… that may be a little extreme but I’d probably walk over it anyway.
A man can open a door for me anytime. So can a woman, for that matter. Old, young, tall, short, fat, thin. I don’t care. Am I physically capable of opening the door myself? Yep, I sure am. Does that matter? No. Someone opens a door for me, I’ll smile and sincerely thank them. It’s kindness, something I’ll accept however I can get it.
I don’t hold a door open for you because you’re a lady. I hold a door open for you because I’m a gentleman.
** LaurAnge **
It’s PC thugs like you that keep the rest of us from landing a husband!
*sorry- I know i used that quote last week, too.
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap I’ve been saying that for years.
I hate it when people divide the world up into nice little us vs. them categories. It’s not about men vs. women, black vs. white, gay vs. straight, tall vs. short, or anything else you can easily drop into pre-determined compartments. It’s about all of us, no matter what we are, doing our best to be decent HUMAN BEINGS. And someone opening a door for me is a small and common decency that I appreciate, rather than another excuse for the patriarchy to hold the poor weak women down. Every time I see a woman shaking her tiny fist at the sky and whining for “equality,” I see someone who would be better served just living her life the best she can, and allowing others to do the same. That’s how you make the world a better place–not by bitching about someone who’s just trying to be nice.
I looked chivalry up in my Webter’s dictionary, and the section that I believe applies reads as follows:
I consider myself to be a feminist, but I don’t believe that makes men my enemies, nor do I think that we must be “equal” in all things. “Respect for women” can be read many ways, and could be worked into a definition of humanism and feminism. It’s what I believe the Women’s Liberation Movement is striving for.
Some changes take time, as evidenced by the resistance to the Equal Rights Amendment, and other societal practices that are slow to die. But I think we gain more headway by modeling the type of woman we wish others to see us as, and I don’t think we gain anything by refusing to let someone hold a door for us, or by not holding it for someone else. Best to pick more important battles (like the position of the toilet lid and how the household chores are split when both partners work full time, said Spider, poking fun at herself
I hate it when people miss my point like that.
All you people who said people holding doors for people is nice, and you’d do it no matter who they are, and throw it in my face that I’m uncivilized and unpolite, please re-check what I said. I said that if you hold the door because it’s nice and it doesn’t matter who it is, you are a NICE PERSON.
What bugs ME is when men who are behind me scurry in front to hold the door open for me (which, as a response to another lot of posters) is usually a sign. But again, assuming will get you all in trouble. Did I ever SAY I yell at them, or am even rude in the LEAST? No! I smile shyly and walk through, cause that’s the kind of person I am. But it still bugs me. The only people I yell at for doing it are my friends who i feel comfortable yelling at.
As to the “militant feminist” bashing going on here, why, exactly is it detrimental to women’s rights to want to be treated equally? I think I missed that.
which I open the door when I feel like it
LaurAnge, I have a couple questions for you:
1.) Should jobs that are physically demanding (firefighter is the only one that comes to mind, but I’m sure there are others) lower their standards just so that women can be employed there? I am not talking about women who can pass the physical test, that’s fine. But I recall hearing good ol Gloria on TV saying that even if women could not pass the physical test required for the job, perhaps they could be equipped with some mechanical device as an equalizer. What’s you take?
2.) I just read this somewhere on the board today, and I need to apologize to whoever posted it, but I dont remember who you are. Are you so for equality that you would look at a man punching a woman the exact same as you would a fistfight between two men?
Your thoughts?
So much for “equality”!
Men and women are NOT equal in all things. Passing laws in an attempt to make it so is ludicrous.
The only equality I expect is equality under the LAW!
I LIKE it when men open doors for me. 
“Tzel, is your name LaurAnge?”
No, but I’m going to give my opinion on this one anyway. If I see a big guy beating up on a little guy, I’m proabbly going to think that big guy is a jerk. If I see a big guy beating up on a little woman, I’m going to think that big guy is a jerk. If I see a big woman beating up on a little guy, I’m going to think that big woman is a jerk. If they’re both holding their own, well, then, I hate to see it come to violence, but as long as it’s a fair fight…
It’s because you are a shrew. Demanding equal rights is one thing, demanding that people not show the rest of us common courtesy out of your misinformed sense of equality is totally different.
I was born and raised in the South, and I am used to men opening doors for me, giving up a seat on a bus, tipping their hat, standing when I walk into a room, and calling me “ma’am”. It’s called manners and respect, which I will admit seem to be going the way of the dinosaur but still, nice to see. Getting this bent about something so trivial – and, to be honest, somewhat imaginary on your part unless you have some sort of magic mindreading machine that tells you when a man is opening a door for you because of your equipment rather than because you’re approaching the door – is a waste of time.
And while you may have meant that you don’t like it when men nearly run you down to open the door for you, what you said was:
Also of some interest here:
[emphasis mine]
Did they ever SAY they were opening the door for you because you are a woman? Then how the hell do you KNOW?
Note to all men: Not every woman thinks this way. Hell, not even most women feel this way. I, for one, am very appreciative. Thank you.
From my understanding our society breeds activism out of girls at an early age… less activities, no money for female sports programs, etc…
I can se the pssibility that women have just as much potential physically as men.
Evoulution! Be Damned!!
Does it bug you if a woman does it? Do you then assume she’s a lesbian trying to pick you up?
Does it bug you if you see a man do it for another man? Do you then assume he’s gay?
Maybe they just want to do something nice for you as a fellow human being.
Yup.
And here I got this impression you were a militant feminist. Silly me.
Anybody who would yell at me for opening the goddamned door for them would not remain my friend for very long.
First off, mouthbreather, the answer to your questions:
- My ideal would be that the regulations are set where they need to be for a firefighter to be able to do a good job. If women can make it, great. If they can’t, oh well. My point is that the gender shouldn’t be taken into consideration. (I’m not sure if I expressed that clearly enough)
2)Tzel, thanks for answering for me. I can’t say it better myself. Women, as a general rule, tend to be less physically strong then men. But I see no reason why we should assume all are. Bad for a stronger person to beat up on a weaker person, no matter what the gender.
About all the questions as to whether I know it they are opening it for me because I am a woman or not:
No, I can’t always be sure. Although I have never seen a woman run in front of me and hold the door. I know that these men, even if they do open the door for me because I’m a woman, mean it in the best way possible, so it’s not fair to get mad at them. Doesn’t mean it bugs me any less.
Amulet, you said: "Getting this bent about something so trivial – and, to be honest, somewhat imaginary on your part… "
(sorry guys, I don’t know how to quote properly, anyone want to fill me in?)
Maybe it is trivial, but to me it represents something bigger. And I doubt it’s ALL imaginary. Didn’t you just describe what men in the south do? =>
Plus, I have seen men walk around table to pull out the chair of their date, or walk around to open the car door etc.
Finally, pldennison:
To me, you are rehashing something I’ve already discussed. If it’s done as an act of human kindness, I’m all for it. (Everyone got that this time?)
About your impression of me as a militant feminist: What, because I’m a shy person means I can’t have strong views?
And finally, I’m lucky enough to have friends who respect my opinions, and won’t stop caring about me because my views may be a bit different than theirs.
If any of you ever open a door for me unasked, I’ll kick you in the nads. I don’t care if you’re just trying to be nice, I didn’t ask for it. If you’re a complete stranger, you are under absolutely NO OBLIGATION to be nice. Let it slam in my face, see if I care.
HOWEVER, if you ask “can I get the door for you?” I will either reply “Yes, thank you” or “No thanks, I got it.” It’s the ASSUMING someone needs assistance that’s so offensive.
I would, but I’m afraid you’d be pissed at me then.
Sorry, voguevixen, but I have to call you rude here. Of course people are under no obligation to be nice! If I feel I’m obliged to be nice, then I usually am not. If a person holds a door for you, he or she is not doing it out of an obligation to do so. They are just being nice. In a civilised world, however, you are obliged to accept the courtesy graciously.
FWIW, I hold the door for people all the time; male and female. Men and women also hold the door for me. At work, a female co-worker will use her badge to unlock the door and I’ll open it – or vice versa.
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” – and sometimes people are just being nice.
LaurAnge, vB codes for quotes, links, itlaics, etc. can be found at the “vB Codes” link when you post your message: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=bbcode
<sigh> You just don’t get it, do you? It’s not the “feminist” part, it’s the “militant” part that we are bashing. And, I’ll treat you “equal” by acribing to you the same epithet I use for men who are as clueless- PISSANT. Feel more equal now?
voguevixen: If you 'kick me in the ‘nads’, I’ll see you convicted of assualt, and then you can meet a lot of other “raelly nice” women who share your views.