Firmly believing there’s no such thing as a stupid question (even though I sometimes have to wonder)…
After lunch I stopped by the men’s room to relieve myself of some sweet tea. As I’m standing there, minding my own business and doing my thing, a guy enters the restroom and takes the urinal next to me. He proceeded to take a very loud (lots of splash, turbulence, etc.) and extremely fast leak (it probably didn’t take him 5 seconds). Given the intensity of the sounds I began to worry that he may crack the porcelain and then I’d have urine and urinal water all over my brand new shoes.
He managed to finish, wash his hands, and leave before I was even finished with the peeing part.
For the record, I wasn’t particularly full and hadn’t been holding it until I could get to the restroom. For some reason I couldn’t help but wonder “Damn - how big is this guy’s urethra?” I did feel sort of stupid wondering that, but it’s been a long day.
How long does it take you?
Maybe you’re a slow pisser. If someone can come in while you’re pissing, finish in 5 seconds, wash his hands and leave, and you’re still pissing you may want to have yourself checked out.
When I had surgery several years ago, I was catheterized during the operation and recovery. For months after the catheter came out I had a stream like a bull, but it slowly returned to normal. Maybe the guy had recently had some kind of “procedure” down there.
Five seconds seems really slow to me unless I just don’t have much to give. Ten to fifteen seems more normal, unless I’ve been to an Oktoberfest, in which case I’ll just catch up with you guys tomorrow.
Considering I drink somewhere between 8 and 12 bottles (16.9 oz each ) of water a day, plus my 12 oz Americano, uhm, no. It takes me a few minutes to completely relieve myself of the water.
<slight hijack>Am I the only person who gets truly annoyed by people always choosing the stall right next to me? Seriously, we have 8 stalls, no matter where I sit or how empty the bathroom is, the next person always chooses th stall right next to mine. Why? Ick. Seriously. Ick.</hijack>
I’d always heard that the standard to measure a healthy bladder/prostate was the benchmark “2 Minute Piss”. Now that does seem like a long piss.
A buddy and I were sharing a hotel room once, I’d been drinking beer pretty steady all day. I had to piss in the middle of the night and it was a doozy. The next morning he mentioned my “Austin Powers piss-taking ass” or something like that, I didn’t realize he was awake to revel in my glorious bladder performance.
As for fast pissing? No thanks. I was playing poker online and needed to take a really fast piss. I strained so hard I nearly shit my pants.
Honestly, women should be allowed access to the Manworld bathroom rules book. The things that I know men loathe (taking the urinal/stall right next to someone else, talking while doing your business, etc) also drive me up the wall. I always want to shout “excuse me, but I come in here to get away from you people!!”
That sounds pretty average.
But a 2 minute piss?? WTF?? Who can piss for 2 straight minutes?
You guys need to start timing yourselves. I don’t think anybody pisses for 2 minutes.
It was tongue in cheek. I can’t remember where I heard that, but it was a bunch of old guys sitting around, talking about the good old days. One guy says the thing he missed most was the good ol’ 2 minute piss in the morning (hinting that he had prostate issues and had to get up during the night to frequently piss). The other guys chimed in, wistfully, about the 2 minute piss. I don’t think any of them could ever really piss for 2 minutes, they just missed that good, long, morning piss.
My “Austin Powers” piss was right on up there, I bet it was close to a minute, but not 2.
No. The sad thing, it isn’t just one person, there are several of them. I never used to pay attention to shoes, but I do now! I know exactly who the next-stallers are by their shoes. I also know which ones of those skanks don’t wash their hands after using the toilet – and the ones who turn the water on, but don’t even wet their hands. Sorry, but if you’re washing your hands, it takes more than 5 seconds.
I just wish they’d add a little background music or something at work here. Christ, you can hear other people breathing, let alone every other bodily function. Can be kinda rough after beer and suicide chicken wing night…
A male friend of mine made the connection between that and a strong pubococcygeus muscle (think “kegels”). He got so obnoxious about it, I quit hanging out with him.
Female here, and an Olympic speed pisser. I have had many comments from people throught the years:
“Whoa, that was fast!” (My standard reply: I’ve had lots of practice.)
I consider it a skill. It’s also advantageous when pissing in an unconventional spot - less exposure time!
