[QUOTE=Hampshire]
That sounds pretty average
But a 2 minute piss?? WTF?? Who can piss for 2 straight minutes?
You guys need to start timing yourselves. I don’t think anybody pisses for 2 minutes.
[/QUOTE]
I can and do have 2 minute pisses. It is usually in the morning after being too lazy to get up to pee at night. My bladder is revolting in netheregion pain and my balls are hung about 5 inches down for some reason. I just let it flow and grab a magazine with one hand while standing up (not kidding). It takes a while. When I was a teenager, I bet my best friend that I could pee for 5 minutes straight the morning after a party in high school. Under those conditions, I not only have a superfilled bladder but the excess liquid tends to restrict flow in some way so I could get some really good times. I didn’t make it past five minutes but I did hit a respectable 4:21. It isn’t comfortable to pee under those conditions however so I wouldn’t recommend it in general.
I can testify to the fact that a round with a cystoscope will do wonders for your piss time. My first whizz after that experience was stunning, like a fire hose, and lasting less than 5 seconds.
They even might give you some special medication to ease the sting when urinating the next few days. You will be shocked to see your urine come out bright orange, just like Tang!
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat]
It was tongue in cheek. I can’t remember where I heard that, but it was a bunch of old guys sitting around, talking about the good old days. One guy says the thing he missed most was the good ol’ 2 minute piss in the morning (hinting that he had prostate issues and had to get up during the night to frequently piss). The other guys chimed in, wistfully, about the 2 minute piss. I don’t think any of them could ever really piss for 2 minutes, they just missed that good, long, morning piss.
My “Austin Powers” piss was right on up there, I bet it was close to a minute, but not 2.
[/QUOTE]
I get up at least once or twice during the night to piss and I’d say it takes me about 60 seconds on average each time. Does this mean I might have prostate problems? Oh well, I guess I’m not too concerned, just curious. However, when I finally get up for the day (and I have to piss once again), I like to hold it until I actually get in the shower. It just feels good to pee in the shower, especially since it provides me with the opportunity to aim at various targets in there. If i can get a good strong pee stream going, sometimes I can knock over a bottle of shampoo or an empty beer bottle, but usually I can’t.
[QUOTE=minor7flat5]
They even might give you some special medication to ease the sting when urinating the next few days. You will be shocked to see your urine come out bright orange, just like Tang!
[/QUOTE]
Or like that kid on House last season. People always are surprised by colorful pee, aren’t they? I have some water pills that warn you that they might turn your pee blue. What they don’t say is it could be green instead. Yellow and blue do make green…
[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
When I had surgery several years ago, I was catheterized during the operation and recovery. For months after the catheter came out I had a stream like a bull, but it slowly returned to normal. Maybe the guy had recently had some kind of “procedure” down there.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, but not necessarily for medical reasons. Some people do stuff like that for fun.
[QUOTE=Litoris]
<slight hijack>Am I the only person who gets truly annoyed by people always choosing the stall right next to me? Seriously, we have 8 stalls, no matter where I sit or how empty the bathroom is, the next person always chooses th stall right next to mine. Why? Ick. Seriously. Ick.</hijack>
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps there’s something about you that other guys find attractive.
I routinely piss for 2 minutes or more. I know this because every night I put toothpaste on my Sonicare brush, stand at the toilet, and start pissing at the same time I begin to brush. The Sonicare finishes after 2 minutes and about half the time I have to stand there with a mouth full of toothpaste foam until I’m done pissing so I can move to the sink and spit it out.
If I’ve been drinking beer before bed I often wake up about 3 a.m. to piss again, and since I’m tired I’ll sit and piss. Those last a long time too, and have been known to drift off to sleep in the middle. Regardless, it’s a constant flow, not like a series of drips or a trickle caused by an enlarged prostate. It’s no firehose, but a nice steady flow.
For those of you with a serious interest in improving your times I understand that urethral stretching is considered a recreational activity by some. And how else to explain the vibrating offering?:
[QUOTE=panache45]
Perhaps there’s something about you that other guys find attractive.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I’m not a guy, so uhmm…I think there’re just some gross bitches where I work.
In the interest of science, I took my phone with me to the toilet just now. This was not a typical piss – I have only had my coffee and 2 bottles of water so far this morning (usually by now I have had my coffee and 3-4 bottles of water, but I had a late wake-up), it took me 57.64 seconds from start of stream to last drop. I would say based on that, my normal pee would be 2 minutes minimum.
Someday, science will thank me for starting this thread.
“And the Noble Prize for Biology goes to Dr. Edward Pissoir, for his groundbreaking work in urination.”
Dr. Pissoir:
“First of all, I must offer thanks where it is due. Without the wonderful question from Plnnr on the SDMB, I would never have thought to concentrate in urine. For his inspiration, I am forever grateful.”
I better get my tux cleaned in case I’m invited to the awards ceremony.
