Are you a lady? What makes one a lady?

Just curious. I consider myself a lady, in spite of my vulgar sense of humour and occasional blue swearing streaks. Thinking about it, I wonder why I consider myself a lady, and what makes one lady-like.

Females, do you consider yourselves ladies? Do you care? What make one woman a lady and another not a lady?

Guys, do you like being around ladies? Do you care?

I think I am, although others might disagree.


When knee deep in B.S., wear nice boots and walk with grace.

Oo! I love this thread. Thanks featherlou!
A lady: Katherine Hepburn
Not a lady: Cybil Sheppard

I think I can be. But that doesn’t mean I always *want *to be or that I am on a regular basis. :smiley:

Agreed: I can be, but I don’t always want to be.

I realized I had the potential one day in high school when I was going door-to-door and selling car wash tickets. A little girl (3 ish) opened the door and yelled, “Mommy! There is a LADY here to see youuuuu!” I felt so old.

Guy chiming in…

Yes I like being around ladies and yes I care.

I learned the difference between ‘being a lady’ and ‘not’ from my first GF 20 years ago.

She was just as capabable of getting dirty and sweaty as any man. She had taken some years of martial arts and could more than hold her own in a fight if she needed to. She lived on her own, made good money, and was independant. She didn’t need any ‘man’ to take care of her.

But, she enjoyed it, ‘being a lady’,.

She liked having a door held open for her. She always sat up perfectly straight with proper posture. She would never use vulgar language or act unseemly in public (the bedroom was a different story). She would slip her arm in the crook of my elbow when we walked down the street together. In short, she delighted in everything that set her apart from a ‘man’.

In turn, she taught me to enjoy being a (gentle) ‘man’. To be courtious to women. Revel in my strength and ‘roughness’ opposite their gentleness and softness. To play my part in the game (or dance as she called it) of the roles that men and women have played through the ages. Not because we had to, but because we wanted to.

I’ve never forgotten what she taught me and I think it has made me a better man because of it.

Ladies have class. Therefore, while I am female I am not a lady. :stuck_out_tongue: Or at least I am not a good bit of the time.

I think it’s pretty hard to pull off on a regular basis!

To me, a lady is a woman whose demeanor and appearance indicate that she cares about other people’s feelings and sensibilities. Given the right conditions, I am a bawdy old broad, but in a certain sense I am (I hope) also a lady.

I think of “being a lady” as having good manners and consideration for others.

I try to be one. Sometimes I succeed.

I think there are decent human beings and not decent human beings, and some shades in between.

Otherwise, eh. YMMV.

I’m definitely not. There are about a million things I would identify myself as before I’d ever get to “lady.” I’m not graceful. My posture is atrocious (though I’m working on it and it’s better than it used to be.) When I wear a skirt or a dress or shoes with a heel I have no idea how to handle myself. When something is funny, I laugh, sometimes loudly. I try to eat moderately and take small bites, but somehow I always lose track and find myself with too big mouthful, or look down at the dainty desert I’ve demolished in about 30 seconds and think hmmmm . . . . I don’t expect men to treat me any differently than they’d treat another man, or like it when they do, though I try to be gracious when they open doors or push in my chair or dumb things like that, because they’re just trying to be nice. If no one ever ever ever used the phrase “Ladies first” from this time forward for the rest of eternity, that would please me immensely.

I’d like to be a graceful, poised, kind person who puts her companions at ease. I admire both ladies and gentlemen for this reason.

Question #1 - Hell no.

Question #2 - Similar to asking me what my “type” is, I have no earthly idea. I just know what my type is not. I have no earthly idea what makes one a lady, I just know that I’m not one.

From what I’ve observed of you on this board, you are precisely that sort of person, Poddy. In my book, that makes you more of a lady than some etiquette snob who pokes her pinky-finger in the air when she sips tea with the Duchess.

Well, it’s in the name and all…
I consider myself a lady. I always be sure to be curteous to everyone I am around, hold doors open for those coming in behind me, say ‘bless you’ to strangers, pick up after myself in public. I take pride in my appearance, and I am always sure to dress sensibly and I consider my style to be ‘classy’ and ‘sophisticated’. I take care of my body and know how to flaunt my stuff when necessary. But I can also drink beer with the rest of the guys and talk football, play soccer, get dirty and change my oil.

I respect myself and I put forth that I have self-esteem and self-respect, and other people respect me for it.

That makes me a lady.


blush Gee, thanks pinkfreud.

I still think I don’t count as a lady, 'cause I can’t walk in high heels. :slight_smile:

I don’t believe being a lady has anything to do with ultra-feminine accessories (high heals). Being a lady has everything to do with how you treat others. I’d like to believe I am a lady.


And being a lady has nothing to do with knowing how to spell. Heels. Heels. Heels.


I try to be. I don’t always succeed, but I try to be.

I like being a woman. I like to be treated like a lady. When someone opens a door for me, it just brightens my day.
I’m not a feminist and never will be. I like to think of myself as more of an individualist. But I revel in the things I can do better than a man can, and I appreciate the things a man can do for me that I cannot do nearly as well. There are some “manly” things I enjoy doing that are easy for me and I don’t deny that I can do them. I don’t want to be in competition with men, I want to live harmoniously with them, complemented and helping each other. I don’t suffer brutes of either sex, but I try to be polite and kind to everyone, even if it is to excuse myself from their behaviour. I don’t think a woman has to stop being who she is to be a lady; I think they have to be true to who they are, without stomping all over everyone else to do it. That might just be part of my own personality, though. I’ve never been much of an “I am woman, hear me ROAR” kind of girl, I’m more like: “I am Anastasia, hear me if you’re listening.”

These aren’t strict rules that I follow to the letter, but I try to stick at least loosely to them. I admit that I have gone off that track many times in my life. But I think if I can stick to it, I could be a lady one day. Some people just seem to be born ladies (regardless of what sex they were born originally), some of us have to work at it if we want to be.

I’m not sure exactly defines a lady, if there even is a strict definition. I think kindness, tolerance, and self-respect go a long way towards it, though. A clever sense of humour or biting wit, when properly executed, is another asset. I think a lady is someone who takes good care of herself because she loves herself (without ego involved), and makes others feel like they are worthy of love and respect (unless they prove to her otherwise). Generally just someone who makes people feel pleased to be near her, but at ease and comfortable.

Does any of that make sense? I have to stop typing now, because my mind is coming up with more “definitions” and I’m rambling enough as it is.

Articulate, too, a lady should speak clearly and articulately so that others have little problem understanding her… something I need to work on…

High heels do not a lady make. After all, Paris Hilton can walk in high heels. 'Nuff said.

Heels and pearls do not a lady make. I like to think I am a lady. I treat others well and I expect to be treated well. I was taught good manners and use them often.

But I am not a priss. I am not excessively prim and proper. I never want to make people feel bad by pointing out their errors.