OK **pink ** that is just scary. That’s what I get for not using preview!
I am a lady.
And I will kick anyone’s ass who says otherwise.
I suppose I could be a lady, if I tried hard enough. I prefer doing the stuff that normal ladies don’t do, like drinking beer from the bottle, not wearing dresses (I detest dresses, skirts and frilly things like that.), I enjoy automotive work, drag racing, boxing…the sort of things men traditionally enjoy.
Do you make any distinction between these terms:
lady
dame
babe
chick
gal
It’s like being a gentleman. If you have to ask, you ain’t! It isn’t a title you can bestow upon yourself.
I’m no lady. Last week someone called our house and asked for “the lady of the house.” I told my husband he should have said, “There are no ladies here. Just my wife.”
I guess I’ve just always been one of the guys. Most of my friends are guys. I like doing guy things. Taking a fish off a hook doesn’t bother me. Nor does putting the leech on the hook to catch the fish. I’ve shot things. I can belch louder than most men I know.
Do I care? No. It’s who I am. Believe it or not, some people like me this way.
As for what makes a lady a lady, that’s difficult for me to define. I don’t think I know many.
Me, too. I’m courteous, I like to think I’m kind, I mind my manners, I respect my elders, but - I’m most comfortable in jeans and boots and I don’t mind getting dirty, but I can dress up and look nice when it’s appropriate. I guess you could say I clean up real good.
Definitely prefer a lady over a woman who is ill-mannered, loud and obnoxious.
I think a woman who is tom-boyish can still be a lady.
IMO, baiting or not baiting a hook etc has nothing whatsoever to do with ladyhood. Ixnay on the belching, but YMMV!
To me it is being both honest and kind in my dealings with people. A lady is courteous at all times, but by no means a doormat. It is possible to be courteous and assertive at the same time.
A lady does not draw undue attention to herself. IOW, she doesn’t use a hog calling volume to engage in conversation (unless, of course, she is in a hog calling contest). A lady knows the appropriate behavior and dress for situations–and if she doesn’t know, she finds out ahead of time. She is prepared for life’s little surprises, as much as one can be.
As for “ladylike” behavior–this is a severe reprimand for girls only. This has changed over time and should be defunct. Tea and pearls, high heels and giggles have nothing to do with “lady” to me.
I consider myself a lady–and I can swear a blue streak; I haul my own compost and mulch; I (sometimes) go eye to eye with gangbangers and tell them no (in a hospital setting-I’m not crazy!).
I have noticed thru life, that if you treat people with respect and courtesy, they return the favor. That is being a lady to me.
What makes one a lady? Saying to a really obnoxious person “Uh huh, that’s nice” when you are thinking “Who gives a fuck, bitch?”.
A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally. – Lillian Day
I dub thee, then, Lady eleanorigby. A lady should know what all the rules are and which rules could and indeed should be broken on certain occasions. There’s a great story about loudmouthed, raucuos silent-film star Mabel Normand, whose Irish washerwoman invited her to tea. Mabel got all dressed up and showed up to a dirt-floored shack, packing-crate table, and only a few chipped glasses. She sat on the floor without brushing it off, and cheerily drank the ghastly tea and ate the moldy bread, and made the family feel they were royalty and everyone had a great tume.
That’s a “lady.”
I consider my mother the ultimate lady. So, in comparing myself to her, I find:
I dress appropriately for the occasion, and I know how to sit in the appropriate clothing. (As in, how to sit while wearing a dress to avoid exposing too much, or when crossing one’s legs at the knee is inappropriate.)
I am polite and mindful of my manners, and I’m considerate of others’ feelings. When a man opens a door for me, I smile and thank him. If a man pulls my chair out at a restaurant, I’m pleasantly surprised, and I thank him. I enjoy being treated nicely. (But I don’t get all huffy if a man doesn’t open doors or hold my chair. No biggie.) I also open doors and offer a seat to others.
I don’t allow my underwear to hang out above the top of my jeans. I don’t allow my bra straps to show outside my shirt.
I have a little modesty. I don’t use the bathroom with the door open when my SO is home, and I don’t go in public without a bra. (Ok, Mom wouldn’t go out of the house without lipstick, too, but I never wear that.)
I would never go to a wedding or a funeral without wearing a dress and pantyhose.
I teach my children good manners, which is something a true lady always does.
I take care of myself, including supporting myself, putting my own bait on the fishing hook, cleaning up my own messes, unclogging my own bathtub, etc.
I also find I have a few shortcomings:
I curse like a sailor, frequently. (Hey, Mom did too, but only when she was driving. Where do you think I learned those words?)
I gossip, sometimes. Mostly harmless stuff, but still…
I lead when I slow dance with a man. Can’t help it; I don’t know how to follow. I can barely dance at all, let alone backwards.
So overall, yeah, I guess I consider myself a lady, but I’m a work in progress.
I don’t think being a lady has anything to do with how you dress or what you like to do. Well, except for the underwear showing thing. Like others have said, I think it has a lot more to do with how you treat other people and what you think of yourself. I consider myself (mostly) a lady, and I rarely wear dresses, and never high heels. I also drink beer from the bottle (well, I have a swig of my husband’s) and enjoy watching baseball sometimes.
A lot of the posters here have done a really great job defining being a lady. I’m in the “kindness and consideration” camp myself. Lady is just another way to say she’s a good person.
A lady can bait her own hook, but if she doesn’t, she politely asks someone else to do it for her, or absents herself from the fishing expedition. No pouting, squeeling, grimacing and diatribes on the sanctity of all life, etc. That might make those around her, who are avid fishermen, feel uncomfortable about an activity they enjoy. A lady, or gentleman for that matter, doesn’t set out to hurt people.
When it comes to the more old-fashioned definition of a lady, I’m a lady, when appropriate. When it’s not appropriate, I still keep it in mind.
One of my friends has this saying, stolen from somewhere I’m sure, but it seems to fit well: Act like a lady, dress like a girl, think like a man and work like a dog.
I would never have considered myself worthy of the title lady, but I spent most of my college career surrounded by gentlemen. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but in the sense that really counts. Like my thesis advisor. When we were in the lab, I was a chemist and would be judged on that alone. When we were outside of the lab, I was a lady among gentleman. The door was held open, chairs were pulled out, it was assumed I’d sit in the front seat. It took me awhile to realize that this was how gentlemen treated ladies, not some slight on my abilities. I’m a feminist, but I like chivarly, as to me, it’s only common curtesy with another name. I hold open doors, help people with package and give up seats on buses, and I’ve grown accustomed to others that do.
In terms of manners, I was taught how to open doors, sit properly, have current posture, shake hands, cross my legs (at the ankle, never the knee) in a skirt and other such things by my Academic Decatholon coaches in high school.
Being a lady is not about what you look like, it’s about what you DO.
Courtesy, consideration and good old fashioned manners.
Giving up your seat, holding doors, helping people across roads, carrying heavy packages for strangers, bringing food after a birth or death and going the extra mile to make people feel comfortable.
A big part of it involves just sucking it up and getting on with things instead of having a hissy fit when things don’t quite go the way you want them to. Ladies do not scream at or insult waitpersons, shop assistants, hotel receptionists, airline staff or bank tellers. Instead they know the power of a REALLY polite letter sent to head office, the sort of brittle politeness that can be devastatingly rude.
My mother always said, “You can tell a lady by how she treats the help.”
Eve, I think your mother and my grandmother would probably get on.
Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
-Tcat