Are You A Poster Nobody Wants To Get To Know Better?

[SnakesCatLady]

I don’t think I’m obnoxious. I’m just invisible.

[elelle]

You know, I guess these worms are really kind of tasty…in a nobody kinda way…

>Chirp Chirp<

Yep, just me and the Insect Trust, pounding down yet another asphalt martini on the Scroll By Turnpike since 1999.

[Monstre]

Invisibly runs naked through the thread

[susan]

(Whistles aimlessly, fidgits, picks at scabs and acne, etc.)

[Hippy_Hollow]

Chez… I would look you up if I ever get back to the Cotswolds for sure!

[Ranchoth]

1. If there was ever such a time, I was sadly oblivious to it’s passing.

2. ibid

3. Truthfully, I don’t know. But I’m not going to hold my breath.

Frankly, I have every reason to think that I’m a tolerated eccentric. A dreary, moody, slip of a man with quirky tastes, odder politics, and all the subtle interpersonal charm of a dead rat.

A Jester. Yorick. That’s me. Maybe I’ll give someone a chuckle or two, or spark an interesting thought or two in someone, somewhere—but in the end, that’s it. Just a mildly interesting skull, but one that’s taking up space in a hole that could probably be put to slightly more productive uses.

[gabriela]

@MostlyClueless

Yup. Most of the time I’m not funny or intelligent enough to be found interesting by dopers. Also, I don’t dissect corpses for a living.

Like they even mentioned me in that other thread. Hmph.

When the corpses are decomposed, I belong thoroughly with the people no other people want to know.

[Chez_Guevara]

@InappropriateHumor

Dear Mr. Guevara:

I am writing in response to your advertisement for the following position:

Foreign Minister - Job Description: Define and implement Party policy towards other threads. Monitor these threads to make sure they don’t get too powerful by going multi-page.

My qualifications are manifold and include having the word manifold in my vocabulary.

I have the ability to monitor many threads, as demonstrated by my extensive (2 year) experience in the field of lurking and living vicariously through virtual strangers.

I also have demonstrated the ability to limit the length of many threads by posting to them, and on some occasions by merely viewing them. My posts are apparently so without merit, that they work as a natural braking mechanism. I am a powerful force in the fight against lengthy threads. Moreover, I vow to use my power strictly for the benefit of the Party.

In summary, I believe I would be a valuable asset to the Party and look forward to serving it.

In desperate anticipation,
InappropriateHumor

Your qualifications are impeccable.

In particular, your ability to limit thread length merely by the act of viewing same is just the kind of skill we are looking for.

However, since you and I are the only posters interested in the difficult task of forming a Police State and subjugating the masses, we (you and I, that is) have decided to change direction.

Something needs to be done with all these people milling around in here so we are going to form a non-aligned religious cult. You and I will cut the moorings of this thread and steer it to a deserted forum where we can jointly coerce our members, using illegal soporific substances, into worshipping an effigy of a Giant Bunny Rabbit . Presumably you have experience in this kind of work.

I appoint you as Finance Director with immediate effect. I charge you with the task of defrauding as much cash as possible out of gullible members and transferring the booty to my (sorry, our) bank account.

Welcome to the management hierarchy of the Independant Giant Bunny Rabbit Religious Sect plc (motto: Opium is the Religion of the Masses).

[Spoons]

@fishbicycle

Apparently, nobody wants to get to know me, either. And I’ve been a member for three years! I guess I should be glad that nearly the entirety of what I’ve said here has gone unremarked upon. If somebody was always taking me to task for every opinion I voiced, this board would have been a very different experience for me.

No, your comments are usually noted, at least by me. Why? A love of popular music, a job in radio (did I ever mention I did some radio work some 25 years ago?), a past in southern Ontario and a consequent knowledge of music popular there at about the same time I was spending my teenage years in Toronto listening to Top-40 AM radio–1050 CHUM in the mid-70s specifically. You know this stuff. I mean really, who else here would have even heard of bands like Crowbar and A Foot in Cold Water; and DJs like Jungle Jay Nelson?

I know I’ve just shot your membership in this club to hell, but you, fishbicycle, are someone I’d like to sit and have a beer with someday.

[fishbicycle]

Thanks, Spoons. I reluctantly withdraw my membership from this thread.

BTW, both bands you mentioned played at my high school! And epic, 20-minute version of “Oh What A Feeling” is something I won’t soon forget. Kelly Jay autographed my “Bad Manors” album.

[Chez_Guevara]

@fishbicycle

Thanks, Spoons. I reluctantly withdraw my membership from this thread.

There is an exit fee, you know.

[Sunrazor]

Dear Mr. Guevara:

I would like to apply for the position of Minister for Propaganda

Job Description: Promote good points of Party using traditional methods of ‘spin’. Cover up defects of Party in line with standard all-party political practice.
My journalism degree from a second-rate teacher’s college in Colorado establishes my academic credential for this position.

I am an accomplished spinmeister, as evidenced by my repeated declarations of fondness for other Dopers.

There are no defects in the party line.

I am eager to discuss these points further in an interview.

Sincerely,
Sunrazor

[Tracy_Lord]

I think more people wanted to get to know me better before they realized my name was a reference to the 1941 Katharine Hepburn comedy.

[What_Exit]

@Tracy Lord

I think more people wanted to get to know me better before they realized my name was a reference to the 1941 Katharine Hepburn comedy.

What else would it be in reference to?

Jim

→ I am joking, and yet when I first saw your name, I immediately thought of Katherine Hepburn. ←

[CalMeacham]

Ah, What Exit, so young and innocent (assuming your question was straight:

Traci Lords | Actress, Producer, Director

Traci was infamous for making porn while still underage. Undoubtedly styole her name from the character played by Hepburn, but as such is much better known.

[What_Exit]

@CalMeacham

Ah, What Exit, so young and innocent (assuming your question was straight:

Traci Lords - IMDb
Traci was infamous for making porn while still underage. Undoubtedly styole her name from the character played by Hepburn, but as such is much better known.

Thank you, I’m sorry, it was a joke. You needed to look between by silly arrows at the bottom of the post. What it says in white:
–>I am joking, and yet when I first saw your name, I immediately thought of Katherine Hepburn <–

[Robot_Arm]

@Tracy Lord

I think more people wanted to get to know me better before they realized my name was a reference to the 1941 Katharine Hepburn comedy.

And once they knew, they just figured you and C K Dexter Haven were an item.

[Tracy_Lord]

@What Exit?

What else would it be in reference to?

Jim

→ I am joking, and yet when I first saw your name, I immediately thought of Katherine Hepburn. ←

Would that everyone I’ve encountered on this board were as culturally conscious as you. It helps that Dex is such a prominent figure here, too.

[What_Exit]

@Tracy Lord

Would that everyone I’ve encountered on this board were as culturally conscious as you. It helps that Dex is such a prominent figure here, too.

Thanks, but I am far from cultured, I just think Katherine Hepburn is the greatest American actress of all time and The Philadelphia Story teamed her with two of our best actors. I would be just as likely to catch any Audrey Hepburn references, as I think she was the most beautiful actress and I know most of her films. Therefore, Tracy Lord was just more familiar to me than Tracy Lords {sp?}.

Jim

[Chez_Guevara]

@Sunrazor

Dear Mr. Guevara:

I would like to apply for the position of Minister for Propaganda

Job Description: Promote good points of Party using traditional methods of ‘spin’. Cover up defects of Party in line with standard all-party political practice.
My journalism degree from a second-rate teacher’s college in Colorado establishes my academic credential for this position.

I am an accomplished spinmeister, as evidenced by my repeated declarations of fondness for other Dopers.

There are no defects in the party line.

I am eager to discuss these points further in an interview.

Sincerely,
Sunrazor

Normally you would receive in reply our standard rejection notice:

Your letter has been filed for reference and you will be notified should a suitable vacancy arise in the future. Thank you for your interest in forming a Police State.

However, your experience interests me and your attitude is faultless, especially as you recognise no defects in the party line. You are just the kind of megalomaniac we are looking for.

Regrettably the posters in this thread lack the necessary ambition to form an oppressive regime bent on dominating the masses and showing aggression to other threads. They aren’t even interested in religious salvation in return for giving us all their cash. I just can’t understand people like that.

Personally I think they need more ‘get up and go’ about them. Most posters here have ‘made friends’ and decamped to another thread, which is definitely not what I had in mind.

Hopefully, at some time in the future, we can attract the right kind of poster who is truly interested in ascending the ladder of senior management within a Police State. Until then we must bide our time and await our opportunity.

Perhaps I got the thread title wrong and posters misinterpreted it in some unfathomable way. We must put our thinking caps on and come up with a more descriptive title for our next attempted coup d’etat. Such as:

Wannabe Fascists Required For Cruel Party Machine - Apply Within.