Those of you who have read “The Right Stuff” will know about the Turtle Club, (or The Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles). For those who don’t, the Turtles started as an informal drinking club among pilots during WW II, self-described as “an honorable drinking fraternity composed of ladies and gentlemen of the highest morals and good character, who are never vulgar.”
Turtles identify each other by wearing lapel pins. When one Turtle sees another member, he can say, “Are you a turtle?” The other Turtle must reply, “You bet your sweet ass I am!” in an audible voice. Otherwise, he owes the other Turtle a drink. During initiation, a Turtle must answer questions which suggest dirty punchlines, but he can only reply with clean answers. Some examples are:
What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?
Shake hands.
What does a cow have four of and woman only two?
Legs.
Every man has one of these. Some men’s are longer than others and the Pope doesn’t use his. What is it?
His last name.
What is it on a man that is round and hard, and sticks so far out his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?
His head.
What others can you come up with?
I didn’t know whether to post this here or in the Game Room. It’s not really a game, but the mods can move it if they see fit.
I haven’t heard of the Turtle Club since 1965, when my sister (the cute one who married a big, strong man to take care of her (didn’t work out in the end)) thought it was the cutest thing she had ever heard.
She loved sexual double-ententes.
I hadn’t thought about being a turtle in years, but did remember some of the jokes. I worked for the Navy, tho, and was told a turtle was a sailor who had crossed the Equator or the International Date Line. Can’t remember which. It was a lot of years ago.
