Are you going to Hell? Why?

A tiger, so I can rip you to shreds. :stuck_out_tongue:

No, really, some kind of bird.

A titmouse?

Dolphin sounds good, but apparently some of my fellow dopers would be looking to BBQ me.

Hell? I don’t even like that part of Michigan.

I shall not go to Hell…unless a luncheon is served, as part of the tour.

<simpsons>
Apu, running away as a reincarnated rabbit: You can’t kill a Hindu! (gets caught in trap) Oh, save me Jesus!
</simpsons>

Hell? I’m already there.

Hell… is other people!!
Anyway- that’s the rough thing about being an atheist- I do all the ethical and moral good works just because I believe it’s what a good person should do, but because I don’t ascribe it to divine mandate, I’m off to hell.

Well, we Jews don’t really believe in hell anyway- yay us!

Yup, a Jewish atheist- it really works!

Hell is inside of us and how we deal with our own demons. It isn’t some firey pit of screaming terror. White Castle anyone

Heaven isn’t some etheral place filled with eternal bliss dildo name! …oh wait…now I’ve forgotten what I was zen-ning on about when I mentioned dildoes…

Never mind.

One thing I do know; when I look at the people who absolutely KNOW they are going to heaven and also know who is going to hell, I think the neighborhood is going to be a lot more pleasant with the group that is bound for the underworld.

Ah–so you’ve met some of my co-workers?

We Jewish agnostics do OK, too.

If you and I are wrong, IvoryTowerDenizen, and the Christian Hell exists, and if it takes as little to get there as I’ve been told, then I’m going straight to Hell when I kick the bucket. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I’ll see you there.

I am going to hell because I swear too much. Not so much here because I don’t have that much reason to, but IRL, I do. That’s all really.

Oh…where to begin? They’ll probably have to create a brand-new circle of hell (Amalgamated Sins) for me.

I am not a good person.

That pretty much sums it up for me, too.

Oh, I’m definitely headed to hell, unless I can swing that deathbed repentance.

I’ve hit a few of those deadly sins, definitely. Sloth, gluttony, tons of lust. I covet stuff my neighbor’s got. Not his wife, though; I don’t swing that way. I don’t go to church anymore, I lie from time to time, and I eat meat on Fridays.

When’s the Hell Dopefest?

Ooooh Yeaaah! I am SO goin’ to hell!

Besides, that’s were all my friends will be.

Well, you know what they say…“Heaven for the Climate, Hell for the Company.”

But yeah, I’d probably be headin to Hades, too. What with the not being baptized, the unreligious life, renouncing God and Jesus and all their works, the plotting to wipe out old-world Abrahamic religion’s power base with a doomsday device, etc.

And all the copyright violations. That’ll be a big one.

Well according to my gramma I’m doubly damned. Not only do I not believe in the Bible or Jesus, but I like girls. So…yeah. Save me seat but make sure it’s near some hot demon girls :wink:

Well you know, you could theoretically avoid going to hell by never having sex again.

I was born Chinese Communist, does that mean I get to live on the great collective farm in the sky after I die?

Wouldn’t be so bad, you know… lots of red.

This is the only hell I believe in, so, I suppose… yeah. I’m here. At least my seat is a cushy computer chair. Not too bad. Would have liked a La-Z-Boy. Although, that is a form of hell, too. I mean, I’d be sitting in a chair that has a purposely misspelled brand name. If it were a mistake it might irk me to no end, but since it was done on purpose, that really boils my potato.