I like to think hell is reserved solely for those that believe in it. Either way, we’ll all find out soon enough. I hope I get a spot next to Ben Franklin.
I got a new Danzig t-shirt. My neighbor seems to think it’s satanic or something. I don’t feel any different. I just like Danzig a whole lot-- I do think the t-shirt compliments my horns nicely, however.
[NIN]
If there is a hell, I’ll see you there.
[/NIN]
Hell is where all of the cool people go. Who wants to hang out in heaven with the likes of Cotton Mather and Jonathan Edwards? Seems to me that an eternity of torture with people I like beats an eternity of boredom with people I despise.
…And there’s more of us than you thought! 
As for the whole heaven/hell thing – something to put it in perspective:
Old guy dies and wakes up… upstairs. He takes a look around and sees an old friend of his who died a few years before, at the ripe old age of 80, frolicking with… oh let’s make it Marylin Monroe. Astounded, he says: “Jake? Is that you? Where are we?” To which Jake answers – “This is Heaven, of course!” “But, Jake – what about Marylin here?” “Oh, her – this is her Hell!”
So, even if they did exist (which they don’t IMO), they could still be co-located 
I’m sure the Chinese afterlife has gone communist by now—you gotta figure the hyperinflation from all the “Hell Money” being sent over has led to a hideous economic crisis by now. That kind of thing tends to start revolutions.
Of course, you’ll have to deal with a few armies of terra-cotta golem warrior…ghost…things. They have to be a pain to deal with.
Pbbt!
I WANT to go to Hell because that’s where all the stippers, booze and debauchery is at.
It sure beats fly’n around in a gown playing the harp all day.
- “Hell ain’t no bad place to be…”*
AC/DC
I’m hellbound for a multitude of reasons…
The worst one? When I was fourteen, I let a mentally challenged neighbor kid swing my rosewood nunchakus. I knew bettter, but he kept asking…
I’d probably have to cure baby cancer to recover from something as evil as that. 
But if we ascribe to their being a hell. Isn’t their a good chance that everything you named would be kept beyond your reach?
IFyou believe in Hell you should be worried.
Even if hell is just a place where people go that don’t go to heaven, you would still be mixing with murderers, pedofiles and Dick Cheney.
That would be hell. 
Jim
I’m going to Hell because 25 years ago I gathered all of the unsolicited cassette tapes sent to me by Columbia House and sold them to a music dealer. 30 coins bought my soul!
My first introduction to thi board was via Threadspotting from the home page about…many years ago. I didn’t really know what a message board was at the time, let alone that they’d let any-old-body join, so I didn’t join.
Anyways, there was a party thread that was set in hell. Turned into a bit of a pizza party. Tons of funny. Have no idea how to search for it though. Anyways, I imagine if the thread could be found and ahem resurrected ahem the party would still be going on…
Hear, hear!
This is motivation enough to:
- Refine ways to commit the seven deadly sins with greater efficiency and results.
- Publicly deny Christ, God, and all of his little angels.
- Argue that evolution is science and God-based theories aren’t.
- Smoke (willful destruction of property on loan from God).
- Drink (ditto).
We religious Jews do OK on the hell front, too. I posted about it here. Basically, the maximum sentence in Gehenna (Jewish hell) is one year. Some of us, including me, believe in reincarnation, too.
Nope, cause I got me one of these.
I really like Judiasm. ;j
Well, if I believed in Hell, I guess I’d be going there, but in the Harry Truman I-did-an-evil-thing-but-it-needed-to-be-done-type-thing. I’ve had a checkered past, and now I work for the U.S. government (not necessarily mutually excusive, I know) and I’ve seen more than a few people die in front of me, although not through my direct actions. I watched a police informant get shot, and later learned that he’d died. It’s doubtful that I could have done anything, but it still gnaws on me.
In my defense, I’m a nice guy, I give to charities and everything; I wrote the International Human Rights Report for Sri Lanka link in 2003, I’ve run a demining program that saved a lot of lives there. I’ve also seen a lot of shit, some of which I’m not at liberty to talk about. What say you, Dopers – tool of the man or guy doing the best he can with a shit situation?
I’m going. Because I jaywalked.
Into moving traffic.
In front of a group of pre-schoolers.
Three steps off the curb I heard a little voice say behind me, “Teacher, why isn’t that man waiting for the light to change?”
I almost wanted to step out in front of a car so the teacher could say, “See what happens when you don’t wait for the light.”
I hear Jeffrey Dahmer isn’t that much fun.
“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners have much more fun.”
As a Wiccan, I find it amusing to be told I’m going to hell. Since I don’t believe in it…it would be interesting.
If it so happens that I am called up in front of a Throne to answer for my Sins to a Old White Man - boy have I got some things to discuss with Him!
Oh, hell, yes, there I be headed’, if it turns out to actually exist. Which I doubt. Which is one of the big reasons why I’ll end up there.
Also, I am guilty of the following atrocities:
Apostasy.
Masturbating 1-2 times every day for the past…um…long time.
When I wasn’t masturbating, I was having passionate, extra-martial sex, often using positions and practices beyond “missionary.”
Frequent, unabashed, shameful, lascivious thoughts about fully 1/2 of the human race.
Acceptance of homosexuality.
Acceptance of the validity of evolution.
Being a musician.
Remaining unconvinced that capitalism is as great as Republicans say it is.
For having way, way, way too much fun with Dressing up Jesus.
Yup, I’m doomed.
No, because there’s no such place. But for the sake of the OP, I shall pretend there is just this once.
According to most religions, yes I will. I committed a crime, and though I was legally punished for this crime, I still did it, and frankly I don’t even feel sorry I did it (it’s complicated).
But according to a few other religions, I can be forgiven, or at least the crime I committed wasn’t really that bad as nobody was harmed by it, so I will not be going to Hell.
Personally, if heaven is full of christians, I’d much rather go to Hell anyway.
Of course, the one true religion is a Piscean faith, so everybody’s going to Fish Hell anyway. Expect it to be cold.