Are you posting less? Is it because of the way the world is? Well, let's fix that!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Great thread.

Here’s what I do: You know that saying, “dance like nobody’s watching”? Well, my husband and I are dancing. We got disco balls and lava lights and are curating a playlist of good dance tunes. We move the living room furniture out of the way, turn on the lights and music, and dance our silly little hearts out several evenings a week.

We’re both stupendously terrible dancers, so it’s a good thing no one is watching. But we’re going to have a few friends over soon for a dance party. Because we’re old and we get to do ridiculous stuff like that. And we sure as hell need it.

22

Carol, what a fun idea! Gosh, I wish my ex and I had thought of that. We always wanted to learn ballroom dancing. Or any kind of dancing really. We bumbled through dancing at various events (e.g. friends’ weddings), but it never occurred to us to just do it at home. And I love the idea of disco balls and lava lights. Well done!

23

Yeah, we’d love to take ballroom dance lessons. So far we haven’t found any that are close enough to home (perils of life on a small island). But one of these days, we’ll work it out!

24

One word: Zumba.

25

I’m not really doing anything different than before the election, except one thing: news diet. I’ve deleted links to most news sources, do not watch news, and never did much social media. I’ve blocked P&E and a name here. I’m still doing and enjoying everything I always did, but have removed the toxic element. This is something I can control.

I recommend this to everyone. I am determined not to let what’s going on live in my head and cause me to exist in a state of constant outrage for who knows how long. I’m not going to be ‘owned’ and I’m not giving them that effing win.

26

Been involved with a wonderful woman for the past year. She’s a rock hound, loves going out hiking and picking up various rocks to take home, either to polish in her tumbler or for her rock garden. Strictly minimize news intake to a couple evenings a week, just to stay somewhat close to current, I find that details are less important these days, in current events, broad trend will do. Bought a new used toyota 4runner. Try not to focus too much on all the bad happening, trying to focus on the good what and where and whenever it happens

27

Well, I adore this. And I’m going to try it. A sort of related thing I’m doing that helps with my overwhelm is to stop focusing on what I can’t/didn’t do and ask myself, “What can I do?” And usually I come up with something.

As for me, it’s a combination of things. I joined a Zen temple and have been meditating regularly for about a year. Having a community and a place and a moral framework with which to address this crisis has been helpful. It’s how I’ve been able to respond with kindness at a time when kindness is not the going trend. I’m a different person when I meditate regularly.

I’m working on a novel. Yeah, the same one. It calls to me. It’s a book about healing in the midst of violence, and nurturing love and hope in dark times. Love and hope are for dark times, if your ask me. I’m meeting regularly with my writers group.

I’ve replaced doomscrolling for hours with cross stitch. I’m working on a pretty kick-ass rocket ship for my son. Now that I’ve moved beyond kits, I don’t have to stitch flowers or birds, which I find kind of dull. There are hundreds of great patterns on Etsy and I just buy my own supplies. I also watch YouTube and I’ve been sticking mostly to FlossTube which is the stitcher community. A joyful, helpful, welcoming place. I’ve learned so much.

Cross stitch is a great supporting activity for writing because it triggers the default mode network (idle brain time) which is where creativity comes from. The unoccupied brain is a writer’s best friend.

Raising a child has a way of focusing you on the present, especially my child, who is joy personified. He has no idea about any of this shit going on, he only knows that the universe is awesome, and he’s not wrong. There are so many incredible things that exist, from amoebas to rocket ships, and he reminds me of that every day. I love learning alongside him.

28

Yes, this and the sleep: the physical really is the foundation for all the emotion-nurturing options.

So smart! It’s easy to ‘not have time’ when the exercise is tedious; this takes care of that issue.

29

. Yes .

30

I’ve been getting into cooking and baking. Recently I stumbled upon a recipe for gingerbread cookies which looked simple enough for me to do; just required several ingredients I didn’t have.

I got the ingredients, and made them, and you know what? They turned out great! I slightly burned the bottoms of them the first time, but that was a problem with the recipe. The next time, I took them out at the 8 minute mark instead of 10 or 12. Perfection.

And I’ve been taking delight in finding recipes online and making them.

31

Ok, I’ll fess up…I’ve found somewhere else to post. :scream: There’s a fairly new automotive website that has a surprisingly civil comment section, along with some excellent Discord servers. They’ve managed to attract contributors and readers who appreciate all things car and car-adjacent, and it’s a really fun environment. (No worries, I still lurk over here quite a bit; I’ve been posting since I was a freshman in college.)

I’ve pretty much given up social media, other than family/friend birthdays on Facebook and the occasional funny video on Instagram. Having an aged mobile phone battery helps keep this in check as well. :grin: Most of my news now comes from a combination of a heavily truncated Feedly summary and a moderated news aggregator that allows commentary. I still try to listen to NPR in the mornings, but it’s rare that I can even last 5 minutes before I’m switching over to SiriusXM or a podcast.

I have really gotten back into making jewelry, although most of what drove me away from that was a sharp decline in the quality of the primary website where I buy supplies and beads. Now that I’ve found some good sellers on Etsy, it’s almost like having a local bead store…no more buying a package of 100 just to get the color or style I want!

32

I spent some time talking with my wife and friends and am working on another behavior that I think is helping my mindset. While as I mentioned earlier, I’m managing my news intake, I’m also trying to ditch my hate - don’t get me wrong, I’m keeping the anger at what is being done and those accomplishing it, because it’s legitimate, and reminds me of why I need to contribute and not just wait for the end (I’m going to another protest on Felon47’s birthday).

But the hate? That leads me to sitting in the dark, at night, wishing harm on others. No, I’m not a big believer in karma et al, but that corrosive hate lingers in the chest like a psychosomatic heartburn, and just feeds on itself. Leading to poor sleep, stress, and real heartburn more often enough.

Holding that emotion too close to the heart means I personally can’t let any joy in, even if it’s in the small things, like a cat napping in the lap, or getting a sleepy kiss from the wife when I come to bed. Not worth it.

Admittedly, I’m not always successful, especially after the last government spending bill. But the fewer days I’m consumed by it, the better overall.

A more practical tool that I’ve put to good use the last week or so is housecleaning. NO, I’m not good at it, managing to “guy-clean” at best, but a bunch of accumulated junk went out with the trash this morning (since I can do up to two 50 gallon bags plus the normal cannister), including a lot of “how long have I had this sitting around” stuff from the pantry as well as the debris of normal life.

And I’ve made plans with the wife to go to Denver next week and try the Ginger Pig, which is a Michelin Bib restaurant, so not a huge event, but fun to look forward too!

33

Unfortunately, for job-related reasons I can’t avoid news (plus I have been a news junkie since I was old enough to read). But getting outside definitely helps, particularly gardening.

We have also been trying to organize and purge stuff we aren’t using. Particularly books. So far we have just been sorting through everything and tossing extraneous paperwork and such. Haven’t decided whether to bother having a garage sale with the useful stuff, or just donate it.

34

I am, admittedly, posting less due the state of world (all over the place) driving a metric boatload of work, and my insane schedule. I think it all started around the time of COVID that I lost control of my nights and weekends. I’m still around, but most of my posting will happen when I"m on travel and I can catch a break, and get back to my own pace, even for just half an hour . . .

Tripler
E.g.: Who naturally wakes up at 0435 thinking about work anymore?

35

Personally, I think that the general overload/overuse of media has pushed many of use into either a withdrawal from society.. (older folks) or a change in how we relate to others…(mostly younger people)

I do know that I post less, and have generally reduced my interactions with the world, but everyday I meet with a group of friends for an hour or so. The only rule is that we do not talk about politics. Sex is OK however, and given our advanced ages, is sometimes humorous. Lots of talk about everyday life - as an example, “what is the best Mexican restaurant?”

I don’t watch the news, but I do use Google news where I can pick and choose what I expose myself to…I especially like this as I can get several reports on the same topic and reduce the dangers of only hearing what I already think.

All of this really seems like an adaptation to a changing hostile environment. Fortunately SDMB is pretty warm and friendly compared to most social media, so I will continue posting.

36

Bolding mine, and thank you for saying it so well.

Sometimes I feel I’m in a world of wannabe Life Coaches who are looking for reasons to issue advice. Maybe it’s just local to me, but too many interactions end with unsolicited lectures, rather than thoughtful discussions of a subject.

As a result I’ve been interacting less, both IRL and online.

To the OP’s question “What are you doing to cope?”

I’m spending more and more time by myself or with my wife in isolated areas, with few (if any) people. It’s surprising how rarely my phone’s camera roll shows other humans.

I’m working on a project to increase our off-grid* ability when camping, so we can go further and stay longer with more solitude. Debated putting pics in the old DIY thread, but it seems to have disappeared now.

*power required for medical reasons.

37

One way in which I practice self-medication is to immerse myself in some interests.

Examples: I’ve always been a watch fan, but instead of buying them, I now ship around for the various components - cases, movements, dials, etc - and assemble my own unique watches. I also am deeply involved in growing figs from various places in the world from cuttings and now have a mature orchard of several dozen trees. Deep immersion demands learning all about the topics, and gaining mastery of both knowledge and skills…that process leaves my mind clear and my outlook focused on things that do not make me unhappy.

38

Hi Pullin. I just read your email…surprised at hearing directly from a Dope member via email. So I wrote back in the forum but am including what I wrote below. It is also possible to interact with folks on the internet, and I do so on a couple of forums where the topics are limited to some interest area. I post both musings, opinions and pontifications (:nerd_face:) there on a regular basis.

Just like my every morning post exercise group, there are agreements to not talk about a few topic areas like politics. We are a very diverse group, and even though we meet after exercise, there are those who don’t or can’t exercise…including several who are mobility limited. But we lay the aside and just interact like old friends with tales and sharing everyday issues - mostly served with a splash of humor.

So I do not avoid human contact. I’ve just found a way to be with others who need to thirst their need for social contact in a pleasurable way.
Best wishes!

FROM THE FORUM:

One way in which I practice self-medication is to immerse myself in some interests.

Examples: I’ve always been a watch fan, but instead of buying them, I now ship around for the various components - cases, movements, dials, etc - and assemble my own unique watches. I also am deeply involved in growing figs from various places in the world from cuttings and now have a mature orchard of several dozen trees. Deep immersion demands learning all about the topics, and gaining mastery of both knowledge and skills…that process leaves my mind clear and my outlook focused on things that do not make me unhappy.

39

Which forum? It sounds like The Autopian, which split off from Jalopnik.

Both of those are my go-to “Not gonna think about politics any more today” sites.

Although when MAGA screws up car-related stuff (ie, with tariffs), they’ll call out the bad guys.

40

I’m perplexed. I didn’t send an email, just quoted your text.
Are you sure it’s not just a normally generated email from the board (Discord, I think)? When someone answers me by quoting here, I get an email “from [Username] via Straight Dope”, with the body of the text. I believe selecting a reply to a specific post does the same thing (just checked – yep, your replay is in my inbox as well).

No problems, just didn’t want to seem like a stalker. :grinning_face: