I was unemployed for 6 months or so.
I’m a degreed engineer with a diverse experience, so I wasn’t looking for the level of job that typically engenders such nonsense.
One potential employer advertised a job that nearly exactly fit my qualifications. To the point that I seriously doubt any other canditates had the experience and skills they said they were looking for. Really. It was as if they wrote the discription after reading my resume.
Turns out this employer also has a large, largely unskilled, workforce. All applicants must submit to the subject nonsense.
One question that truly baffled me (I paraphrase): “If I were caught stealing, I would rat out the people who helped me.”
a)Strongly agree
b)whatever
c)whatever
d)whatever
e) strongly disagree
May I suggest
f) Where were you fucking morons when I filled out the previous questions that clearly indicated that you don’t have anything to steal that is worth (take your pick) My job, my freedom, my self respect.
g) Granting your insulting primise that I would steal from my employer, what makes you think I’d be stupid enough to endanger my friends, or put myself at risk of being ratted out by same?
Then there came an IQ test. I’m good at such. Real good. I have no doubt I rated as genious/sociopath. No I don’t think I’m that freakin’ smart. I’m pretty smart, and am very good at taking tests
About a week later I get a letter , again paraphrasing: “Dear mister Kevbo, We know you cheated on the IQ part, and probably the honesty evauation too, so thanks, but no thanks.”
But wait. It gets better:
The freaking day after the I get the letter I get a call from a “networking” contact.
Turns out the group that needs the work done can’t find anyone to do it, so they are looking for a contractor.
So I end up starting my own buisness and charging these assholes out the wazoo for the same freaking job I wasn’t honest enough to do as an employee.
Turns out the guy I’d be working for is a micromanaging dickweed, but that is fine, the more work he makes for me, the more I bill them.
They keep making noises about hiring me as an employee, but the number I gave them is too rich for thier blood, even though it is only about 75% of what I am invoicing as a contractor.
Meantime I found anothe contracting gig, and have just accepted full time employment at my asking price. (shoulda asked for more I guess)
Thing is, I could be working for these guys the last 4 months, I’d be half way happy, they’d be happy, and the only reason it isn’t so is an HR department run amok.