I do not have children. If I had a daughter, I would want her to be on some sort of reliable birth control as soon as possible after she became fertile, no matter her intentions toward sexual activity (though not if it’s contrary to physician advice. I don’t know how early is “too soon” for hormonal BC).
What say you, Dopers?
I agree with the concept, though “immediately upon fertility” is probably overkill. I would think by high school the hormones, peer pressure and curiosity will deem it appropriate.
I would add that this would be a dialog with the daughter…not an executive decision. If the kid isn’t interested, ready, or if she doesn’t want to be on hormones, that’s her business.
Good point. I wouldn’t support forcing medication on her, just making sure that it is an option for her.
When I moved to live with my father, I was 16. He isn’t the kind of person to discuss these matters with his daughters, but I think he felt it was a conversation we needed to have, and asked me if I needed to go to the doctor’s office to get birth control. I assured him I didn’t need to, and he told me if I ever did, to tell him and we’d get it taken care of.
A few months later, when things between my boyfriend and I were clearly getting serious, he asked again. Not able to admit to him that I was sexually active, I just said “OK, but only so that I’ll be prepared if the time ever comes.” So he took me to the hospital on base, and I got the pill.
Looking back, I think he handled it perfectly - not pressuring me, not really accusing me, just saying “If you need to do this, we’ll do this.”
My dad. He can be a dinosaur, but he’s a great guy.
As soon as she’s fertile? That could be around 13. I can’t see putting a 13 year old on the pill unless there was a clear sign that she was sexually active. That’s just my opinion though.
I would just rather jump the gun than wait too late.
Yeah, but if you do it as soon as she, in theory, is able to have a child, couldn’t that be bad for her? I mean, she just barely got her hormones and crap to the point where it’s able to have a child. I’m no expert on female physiology, but might it be a good idea to wait a couple years for it all to “balance itself out” as it were? Get just a tad further along into puberty before starting hormonal birth control, rather than right at the beginning of it?
It might be bad for her, which is why I said I wouldn’t act contrary to a physician’s advice. The “as soon as possible” means “once it’s safe.”
My daughter is almost 17 and I have been telling her for years that I’d rather have her on birth control than accidentally pregnant. I intend to reaffirm that as soon as I get a chance with her alone, since just recently acquired a serious boyfriend, her first.
What makes it a little more complicated with my daughter is the fact that she has a blood disorder that prevents her from using any hormone-based birth control, so she may not say anything, thinking that there’s nothing she can do.
I went to my mom when I was 14 and told her I wanted to be on the pill. I had been menstruating for about a year by that point. There was a minor family freak-out. My parents sat me down and gave me the third degree. I stonewalled them with the “I just want to be prepared just in case” line, not ever admitting to the fact that I had already lost my virginity at that point. They were not happy with my lack of answers, but I was on the pill within a month or two. Thank goddess for understanding, responsible parents.
As far as development, I stopped growing in height around that time, but that’s pretty normal for girls. An added plus was the acne control that being on the pill affords. No other side effects that I ever noticed. I did eventually end up with an STD though, so when the time comes for me to do this with my daughter I will tell her my tale and caution her to use condoms anyway until both parties test clean.
I just want to add that I wouldn’t think about putting her on birth control “just in case”. That, to me, is like saying it’s OK to just go out and have sex indiscriminately, and I’d rather she not do that. I want her to understand that it’s an important step in her life. Not sacred or anything like that, but important and not be be taken lightly.
How does someone “accidentally” get pregnant? 
My mom asked me after I had been dating my first serious boyfriend for awhile. I had already had sex, but only a couple times and I wanted to be on birth control, I just hadn’t gotten the courage to ask. So I was glad for that.
I think talking to a daughter around when she starts high school would be fine. I’m still on the pill and haven’t been active for months and I have no prospects, but it regulates my periods. I know EXACTLY when they are coming now, before I had no clue. So if you would want your daughter to be on it while they are not sexually active yet (but not too young) they might readily agree for this reason. But make sure they understand they still have to ALWAYS use condoms when they do become active.
I know though there is a acne medicine a friend of mine was on, and they made her start birth control at the same time, even though she had never been sexually active (she was kind of young), because if you were to get pregant while on it, the baby has a great chance of being severly damaged.
Ummmm, by not using birth control? If she’s having sex now, I don’t think her intentions are to get pregnant.
I don’t see why. I mean, surely the coal, and the damp, and the back-breaking labour would be a pretty good anti-aphrodesiac. And the canary might start squawki…oh wait, you meant…never mind. 
If someone understands the (extremely simple) concept that having sex without protection = pregnancy, and they continue to do it anyway, then I would not classify it as an “accident.” Perhaps “negligence” would be a better term.
Dude…c’mon.
There’s a perfectly good term already without gettign all acrimonius. ‘Unplanned’.
To use her word, whatever. I’d rather she not be “negligent” either, and I’ll encourage her not to be.
If I had a daugher I’d discuss it all with her for the first time around when she’s 10. I’d explain that it won’t be relevant to her for a while to come, but that by the time it is, she’ll be embarrassed to bring it up, and this way she’ll already know.
Then repeat the discussion when she’s 13 and again when she’s 15 and, unless she’s casually mentioned how one brand of pill is more to her liking than another, or asked me to pick up her script at Duane Reade on the way home or something, during the intervening years, again when she’s 17.