Ask the Black Guy

Great Debates
101

Due to time constraints, I’m going to have to make this brief. Let me say that by my post on the psycho-social damage that the history of race relations in America has wrought on how we view race–in the cultural NOT biological sense, I meant no offense to anyone, nor am I standing in judgement of other people’s preferences. People can and should chose to see whomever they want. I was merely trying to relate a cultural perspective about mistrust between cultures. And yes cultural mistrust is ugly, but the American history that fuels it is ugly too. Whether or not we realize it, our history does work either consciously or unconsciously to influence how we perceive people. The historical underpinnings would be different, but you can apply this notion of intercultural mistrust to any culture that has experienced colonization. I’ve had this type of conversation with Vietnamese, Japanese, and Koreans with the same mistrust being related by those parties.

Yes, stuffinb, I understand your perspective of dating the people you know and of running into disapproval from older black folks and from black women. I think my mom has become more open to me dating outside of my race, but she would still prefer that I stick to men inside my race because the cultural comfort zone would be one less hindrance to deal with, but she’s not going to stop me from doing what I want to.

Collounsbury, we don’t need badges or anything. This is just a discussion among folks, and I would rather it not get too heated, but I as well fear it may. Why is it that anytime I get into any kind of discussion about black anything, things start getting heated? :frowning: Anyway, I couldn’t access the NY Times link you provided so I can’t really comment on that. In terms of multiracialism, I’m all for it, but then I define blackness as being multiracial or multicultural. I grew up with my mom telling my siblings and me: “You’re not black, you’re Native American.” But when I asked for nations or even names of relatives, she couldn’t give me any. I wouldn’t fit into Cherokee or Lumbee cultures because I wasn’t raised in those cultures and I don’t speak the languages they do speak, so I don’t claim directly those cultures. I can’t trace the Spanish part (which country?), the African part (which country or tribe?), or Irish-Scotch part of my culture either for the same reason I can’t trace the Native American. So I call myself Southern black American because that is what I do know, and that suits me just fine. It doesn’t mean I deny the cultures that are a part of my heritage because blackness basically represents those people who come from diverse backgrounds but who may or may not be able to exactly trace them. I don’t know if that makes any sense or not, but it’ll have to do for now. If I ever get around to having kids, then they can decide for themselves what they want to call themselves culturally. I hope that if it comes to that, they’ll choose American, but who knows? In terms of how I relate with other minorities on a personal or political level, I’m just me. I respect them and hope that they would respect me.

102

Biggirl:

I sure hope my post didn’t come off as “fucking blacks.”

As for your question, I’ve been in Atlanta during Freaknik. I sense little difference between what occurs there, and my fond memories of Spring Break in Daytona Beach.

103

It was the very nicely set up parellel between the well-behaved, smartly dressed, apparently supervised white kids and the scary black basketball assault team that left me with that sinking “fucking blacks” feeling as opposed to a “fucking kids” one.

104

LOL. You guys worry too much. If this thread hasn’t degenerated into name-calling and hurtful accusations yet, I’m reasonably certain it’s not going to. 'Lax, y’all.

CODA. Allow me to clarify my thinking about Uncle Tomism’s insidious link to interracial dating, Biggirl, celestina. One thing does not automatically equate with the other, I agree, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think there was some (often HUGE) collorary.

BUT FIRST, A PERSONAL DECLARATION. Not that it should matter what I think, but I don’t care who you love as long as you’re good to each other, your families, and encourage your kids to respect their blended heritage.

QUESTIONNAIRE. As I see it, being a Tom entails these qualities / patterns of behavior… (Check each as they apply)

  1. (Gender) Being male

  2. (Ethnic Pride) Downplaying / denying one’s ethnic heritage.

  3. (Romantic Interests) Dating white women, possibly precluding even the possibility of dating or marrying black women. (Big Tom sign.) You wrinkle your nose subconsciously whenever you encounter black women whose names begin with “La” “Sha” or “Ta” or end in “-iesha” or “-wana.” (This should count as two.)

  4. (Ethnic Features) Regularly engage in cosmetic alterations that mute, transform or de-emphasize your racial identity. (I.E. lipshairskintonenosebutt)

  5. (Personal Indentification) Feeling shame in the behavior of other black people who behave in a low-class manner – by your standards – as if it had a direct reflection on you, when it DON’T.*

*(I know it’s “…when it doesn’t.” I’se educated. Don’t wreck my flow.)

  1. (Cultural ties) Feel disdain for historically black institutions, organizations and traditions, both cultural and language-based. You maintain virtually no ties to any of them. You may find yourself wondering why they’re still around.

  2. (Leadership ties) Feel disdain and critical attitute towards the leadership produced from the places mentioned in #6. You maintain virtually no ties to any current “black” leadership. You may find yourself wondering why they’re still around.

  3. (Cultural identification) Enthusiastically embrace another (usually Eurocentric) culture/lifestyles over what you were likely raised in the black communities of your time/place. Your values, taste in clothing, food, music, hairstyles, hobbies, humor and standard of beauty all derive from this.

  4. (Cultural dissemination) Raising your kids to be juuuuuust. liiiiiike. yooooouuuu. And you give/plan to give them names like “Tiffany Amber Yourlastname” and “Christopher Maximillian Yourlastname.” If your son changed his name to “Jamal” you’d have conniptions.

  5. (The Rhythm Question) The black recording artist you identify with most is Sammy Davis, Jr., Charlie Pride or, possibly, Kevin Eubanks. You equate all hip-hop music as essentially violent, sexual, or unlistenable. You don’t see any difference between Public Enemy, Wu-Tang Clan, Bone-Thugz-and-Harmony and NWA. The last dance you mastered was the Cabbage Patch. You don’t know if ODB is a person or a group. You have no clue who Surge Knight is, but you hope his black ass is locked up. You don’t know what the hell Baduism is, but your daughter better not have it.

TABULATION OF RESULTS. Here’s how you rank.

(0) Supernigga. You too black for The Mack, jack. You might even be able to tell me which Richard Pryor routine “Supernigger” is from.

(1 - 3) Basically Normal 21st century African-American, or however you choose to label your ethnicity. You go along with many cultural precepts but question a few others, like the role of black leadership and whether soul food is healthy for you. This is how I’d normally rank myself but, see, I collect comic books, so I might get nudged into the next bracket:

(4 - 6) Tom-Like Tendencies With Significant Deviations. You’re either fairly conservative – possibly more than you care to admit – and/or an assimilationist who views him/herself as an ‘American’ as opposed to an African-American. We could hang. We might even be tight.

(7 - 9) Raging Tomissive Avuncularness. If I know you, I would avoid you on sight. If I didn’t know you, and we talked a minute, I’d avoid you thereafter.

(All 10) King Tom. Shoot to sterilize.

I made this quiz up myself. Took an hour. Whew!

INTERRACIAL PROFILING. Now… Famous black women who date or marry white men are almost automatically considered “sellouts” regardless of all external factors, just as a lot of white women are written off if they marry and have children by their black husbands… possibly moreso than black men who marry and have children with their white wives. But in a lot of activities these sisters engage in (Black supermodels, actresses, athletes, musicians) there’s nothing BUT fine white guys around. Chris Rock talked about 80s Olympic bronze medalist Debbie Thomas being engaged to a white guy and initially getting mad hearing about it, until he realized she probably didn’t meet a lot of brothers doing the electric slide around the ice rink. But take my word for it: if either Venus or Serena start dating studly young white tennis pros, even their “legitimacy” will be questioned in a hairbeat, corn-rowed hair, embarrassing daddy and all.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE. Biggirl: A bunch of black dudes clowning, being loud and acting like jackasses who you don’t have anything to do with, SHOULDN’T have anything to do with how others perceive you. They don’t make you look bad. They only make you afraid other people will (pre)judge you along with them, since your skin is similar. You can’t do anything about that. Try and give yourself and the other white folk more credit because you know you’re better than that, and white folks who’d lump you in along with those guys can’t be helped anyway. They’d condemn Nelson Mandela if he ate fried chicken bare handed.

So can we move on to a new class of questions?

105

Chill my dear! I think it was understood in that sense. Errr, if my followup somehow implied otherwise (mentioning yet another racial biology trainwreck) that was just awkward transition.

Heated, oh dear. Well, let me apologize, I wasn’t being heated at all, but just awkwardly using a chance to cite to Orlando Patterson. Fairly clumsily at that. No, I think this thread is entirely unheated! (Well except perhaps for the Williams sisters part, but that’s another matter.)

106

Do you ever get tired of (maybe well-intentioned) white folks who are so cloyingly deferential to you that it comes across as patronizing? Do those of you who live in predominantly white areas get that a lot?

I grew up in a racially mixed area in the South, and was then thrust onto a college campus that was overwhelmingly white. Moreover, a majority of those kids came from communities up North which had few, if any, black people. (I remember my roommate telling me that he had never even seen a black person until he was twelve years old.)

I noticed that the kids from these lily-white communities often treated blacks deferentially. In the extreme, really. I’m sure they meant well, in an “I feel your pain” sort of way, but it came across to me as almost patronizing. Furthermore, whether consciously or not, they reacted differently to white people than to black people. They couldn’t seem to loosen up and treat black people as, well, just people.

So so any of y’all ever get this vibe? And if so, what is your reaction to it?

107

Just thought of a specific example of the type of vibe I mean.

There might be eight or so of us sitting around a commons room on campus: me, say one black guy (also from the South) and six or so white guys from overwhelmingly white Northern towns. Normal ribbing (or signifyin’, if you prefer) ensues between me and the black guy. I might make some crack to the black guy (all in fun), and he takes it in fun. But all the sheltered white guys freeze up. (“Oh no! A white guy with a thick Southern accent is insulting a black guy in our presence! What do we do??!!”) Know what I mean?

Which brings me to another question. Do any of you feel more at home culturally with white Southerners than with white Northerners? Just curious.

It strikes me that this is what is meant by those in the black community who jokingly refer to Bill Clinton as “the first black President.”

108

Geez Askia tough test… To be upfront, I’ll even say I fell in the Tom Like Tendencies category. I aint ashamed.

Quick Aside My youngest son is named Christian. He got that name because my then wife was considering names sort of like the ones Askia mentioned. We argued about it in the car one day and I said 'Why can’t we give him a normal christian name…" and history was made.

Spoke 've encountered the behavior you’ve mentioned, and it’s uncomfortable. If it’s somebody I come into contact frequently though, it tends to disappear pretty fast.

109

I think I have to critique this.

I know what is meant here, but “downplaying” covers a rather large ground.

I’ll be frank, such names do not speak to me and given their idiosyncratic and synthetic nature, it doesn’t seem “tomish” in the sense I think one means to not care for them.

I understand this, on the other hand I care not the least for lower class white behaviour and see absolutely no reason to accept what I consider wrong-headed muller-head behaviour. As such, I can not escape the feeling black folks should not have simliar liberties.

Again, I understand this, but I have heard from many a AA source in private conversation critiques and gotten a sense of profound alienation from traditional organizations. Should this be put off on the individual as “uncle tomish” behaviour or rather should this be taken as a sign of healthy (or not) socio-cultural evolution.

At what point does one group solidarity win over another.

Again I have a sense of what is meant here, and yet I find this troubling. Indeed what is meant by "Eurocentric’ for I shall say frankly, having lived and worked in Africa, African American lifestyles bear not one whit a ressemblance to Africa, leaving aside the westernized. (you will I hope accept that I am not a superficial observer) Not one iota. But then one might say the same of mucho from “Euro” Am lifestyles.

Be that as it may, I have trouble, as the outsider, not sensing a strain of cultural essentialism.

What is particularly “black” about jamal? What is not black about Xtofer Maximillian?

I see a large kernal of problem about identity here, but of course it is not my problem, as of yet.

110

[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Askia K. Hale *
QUESTIONNAIRE. As I see it, being a Tom entails these qualities / patterns of behavior… (Check each as they apply)*
**

  1. (Gender) Being male**

I suppose if you are going to be an Uncle named Tom being a male is standard. I don’t think that being female precludes you from showing Uncle Tom tendencies.

  1. (Ethnic Pride) Downplaying / denying one’s ethnic heritage.

Ummm. I don’t know what this means. I abhor gangsta rap, but love basketball. Really, what do you mean by ethnic heritage?

3) (Romantic Interests) Dating white women, possibly precluding even the possibility of dating or marrying black women. (Big Tom sign.)
I dated many different men of many different ethnicities. I married a black man, so I guess I’m in the clear here. (Although I’d like to point out that his “blackness” had nothing to do with why I married him. The man I fell in love with was black. I did not fall in love with him because he was black.)
**
You wrinkle your nose subconsciously whenever you encounter black women whose names begin with “La” “Sha” or “Ta” or end in “-iesha” or “-wana.” (This should count as two.)**
I think Sheniqua is a pretty name. I think my cousin who named her daughters LaTonya, LaTona and LaTonga is worthy of snickers. And what did she have against her last daughter? LaTonga?
Of course stupid names is not just the providence of black people. Frank Zappa named two of his children Moon Unit and Dweezil. snicker

4) (Ethnic Features) Regularly engage in cosmetic alterations that mute, transform or de-emphasize your racial identity. (I.E. lipshairskintonenosebutt)
My nose is gigantic. Black people look at my nose and say “Damn, that’s a big honkin’ nose!” If I didn’t have a fear of surgery and if I had the money, I’d think about cutting it down to a managable size.

I wish I had a butt. I like my hair just fine (I don’t straighten it or color it or anything it-- I haven’t seen a hairdresser in 3 years) and I don’t think about my skin color-- it just is.
**
5) (Personal Indentification) Feeling shame in the behavior of other black people who behave in a low-class manner – by your standards – as if it had a direct reflection on you, when it DON’T.*

(I know it’s “…when it doesn’t.” I’se educated. Don’t wreck my flow.)*

I don’t feel shame when black folk act low-class. I feel angry. I feel anger because I know that people --of all colors-- do not look at an black individual’s behavior as individual behavior. Every public thing a black person does reflects on all black people. It’s not fair, but it’s true.

**
6) (Cultural ties) Feel disdain for historically black institutions, organizations and traditions, both cultural and language-based. You maintain virtually no ties to any of them. You may find yourself wondering why they’re still around.**

Feel disdain just because they are “black institutions”? Sounds like outright racism.

**7) (Leadership ties) Feel disdain and critical attitute towards the leadership produced from the places mentioned in #6. You maintain virtually no ties to any current “black” leadership. You may find yourself wondering why they’re still around.
** I feel disdain for Al Sharpton. I think he is a scandlemonger and an opportunist of the worst kind. He should do well in politics. I feel disdain for Thomas Sowell (sp?) as I believe he is an apologist and a white conservative ass kisser. I do not feel disdain for Alan Keyes. I think he really believes in the fiscal conservatism he espouses. I don’t agree with him, but I don’t disdain him.

I come by my disdain for black leaders the same way I come by my disdain for leaders of all color. Being black doesn’t automatically make you disdain-proof.

**
8) (Cultural identification) Enthusiastically embrace another (usually Eurocentric) culture/lifestyles over what you were likely raised in the black communities of your time/place. Your values, taste in clothing, food, music, hairstyles, hobbies, humor and standard of beauty all derive from this.**

I do not hold my values and tastes to any standard but that of my own choosing. I like R&B and I like Rock music. I like Friends and I liked Living Single. I hated Martin with every fiber of my being. I like curry, yet I’m not West Indian. I like lasgna, but I’m not Italian. And what the hell is a “black” sense of humor?
Who chooses what is too Eurocentric for all good black people to embrace? I’ve said this before: If I like it, then it’s something a black person would like. If I don’t like it, then it’s something a black person wouldn’t like.

**

  1. (Cultural dissemination) Raising your kids to be juuuuuust. liiiiiike. yooooouuuu. And you give/plan to give them names like “Tiffany Amber Yourlastname” and “Christopher Maximillian Yourlastname.” If your son changed his name to “Jamal” you’d have conniptions.
    **
    I don’t understand this question. I don’t want my kids to be just like me. I want them to be just like themselves. I think Jamal is a cool name, but I think LaTonga is silly. I named my daughter Ebony because I think it’s a beautiful name. I named my son Justin for the same reason.

Is there some sort of blackness litmus test for names?

**10) (The Rhythm Question) The black recording artist you identify with most is Sammy Davis, Jr., Charlie Pride or, possibly, Kevin Eubanks. You equate all hip-hop music as essentially violent, sexual, or unlistenable. You don’t see any difference between Public Enemy, Wu-Tang Clan, Bone-Thugz-and-Harmony and NWA. The last dance you mastered was the Cabbage Patch. You don’t know if ODB is a person or a group. You have no clue who Surge Knight is, but you hope his black ass is locked up. You don’t know what the hell Baduism is, but your daughter better not have it.
**
I hate gangsta rap (as I’ve mentioned before). I think ODB is an idiot and Suge Knight belongs in jail. I love Erika Badu and I can get with Bone-Thugz-in-Harmony. Much of black music is sexual. Much of pop music is sexual. What is the point of this? You get Uncle Tom points just because you don’t like NWA?
So, how’d I do?

111

Biggirl:

You have a way with words. “Basketball assault team” perfectly describes what it actually felt like. And there was a hell of a dichotomy there that day drawn along predominantly racial lines.

I certainly don’t think that their “blackness” had anything to do with it. As I noted, they were predominantly male, and as you noted, you get a bunch of young unsupervised adolescent males together, and you’re basically playing with nitroglycerin.

112

Okay.

  1. What is your nationality? I mean, are your ancestors from Africa, Jamaica, Haiti?(don’t say new Jersey, I mean way back):slight_smile:

  2. Who of the famous black people there are do you admire the most?
    (me: Dick Gregory)

  3. What did you think of Haile Selassie?

113

Biggirl:
I think you spent about as much time on my test than I did. :wink:
You make a few really good points but hey: I don’t pretend that “test” was anything more than me making 10 (very) generalized pronouncements about Uncle Toms based on looking at primarily three people: O.J. Simpson, Tiger Woods and Bryant Gumbel. I think you prolly did damn ah-iight, although you do strike me as being just a tad bit disingenuous when you ask me what “the hell” constitutes “a black sense of humor,” tho. I mean. C’mon.

vanilla:

  1. The earliest examples of my family tree on my mother’s maternal side can be traced back to a slave named Maragret, my great-great-great grandmother, who lived on or about the Aiken, SC area about 1840 and died giving birth to her daughter, Julia, about 1858. My mother’s father’s people have all been clustered in and around the Charleston, SC area at least the last 120 years or so but the earliest photographic evidence don’t appear until the 1920s. Most of that side of the family still lives less than five miles from the slave markets and I understand there’s been some migration from the sea islands to the maniland just after WWI. There’s been Irish, Edisto Native American, possibly German, and French blood in the family – not just ownership but children borne out of liasons – but couldn’t begin to tell you about the exact African tribal geneaology other than it’s definitely West African. I don’t know nearly as much about my father’s side.

  2. Famous Black Person I Admire the Most: Hmmm. I’d say it’s filmmaker/ provokateur/ general loudmouth/ Knicks fan Spike Lee.

  3. LOL. Cute. I had to grab an encyclopedia to remind myself of Ras Tafari’s background. Oh, Haille definitely had some Tom-like tendencies (just check out those clothes) and incredible affection for European travel and vogue, although collaboration with the British in WWII was undoubtedly a political necessity. But look at his significant deviations: renamed the nation of Abyssinia “Ethiopia” after the Italian occupation, reigning over his nation for 45 years, lent his name to a sect of ganja smokers, proclaiming himself a direct descendant of the Queen of Sheba. Not being a follower of Ras, I don’t think he was a divine leader at all, but it’s important to realize that this is just my own freaking opinion, okay? I think he was demonstrably an isolationist elitist whose social policies and unchecked governmental corruption probably helped doom many of his people to death by famine ever since the early 70s. I’ll also add I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if his death turned out to be more than was offically reported.

114

Vanilla

  1. My Maternal lineage traces back to Ifni, now called somethng else. The first relative here was my great great grandfatehr who immigrated form Haiti. He was captured as a “runaway” in the early 1800s and sold to an Minister/Abolitionist form NC, who set him free. Most of the family is still there and a town shares mt last name Byers, residents there and in NW North Carolina, Asheville and surrounding areas are most likely relatives of the Minister my GG grandfater or both.

  2. I like Morgan Freeman and Gregory Hines. Early Black Americans would be Carver and Hughes.

  3. Not sure who that is, let me look it up.

115

*(warning unpleasant words contained in this post){/i]

Ok, here’s another question about rap. My kid brother loves rap, which I don’t really understand, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, when it came time to pick out a cd for him for Christmas, I picked Nelly over DMX (both of which he adores) simply because I can’t stand the lyrics in DMX’s songs. Unfortunately, it’s not just him. Why must rappers flipantly sing about niggers, bitches and jigga/boos?

Personally, I find it terribly offensive, and I’m 90% white. More than that it worries me. There are a lot of dumb or just plain insensitive white people out there, and eventually, some of them are going to start thinking it’s ok to use these terms. I hope to hell that these terms don’t become common outside of rap. I’d also be equally concerned if women sang more about other women being cunts and that some men might decide it’s an acceptable term…

Does it bother you how casually these terms are tossed around, or am I just being too sensitive and cynical about people’s inclinations to adopt terms they hear in songs?

116

Okay, okay, okay. SERIOUS answer: uhhhh, most of the time no, because I pretty much have a “Live and let live” sort of attitude enabled by my mastering the fine art of ignoring bullshit, otherwise I’d froth at the mouth everytime I turned on the WB or C-SPAN. But one must speak up from time to time. Excesses mustn’t be left alone.

Specifically, “Nigger,” “nigga,” etc., used by blacks for blacks doesn’t bother me, because it’s coded to be used certain circumstances: poetry, music, fiction, informal conversation. Rare is the brother dumb enough to run up to, say, an elderly church pastor and go, “Yo, whuh dup, old nigga?” (Rare but not impossible.) Obviously I have a problem when white people do it. I may have loved “Pulp Fiction,” but if Tarantino called ME a nigger off-stage, I’d have to put him in check, lickety-quick.

I have no problem with most profanity I hear in songs. Just as veiled sexual double-entendres were the standard in early blues and rock-n-roll, cussin’ is a feature of hip-hop since its debut. Yeah, cussins’ gotten more casual since I first heard Sugar Hill Gang drop “Rapper’s Delight”, but so has American pop culture in general. The biggest crossover successes manage it without much cussing at all (Will Smith, anyone?)

That said, neither DMX or Nelly strike me as being as particularly misogynist when they use the word, “bitch” – mostly 'cuz when they do, it’s referring to other GUYS they’re talking about. * Nigga, I’ma spit the gauge at your rib cage/ We thugged out/ Y’all niggas is bitch made* (Nelly, Never Let Them C U Sweat).

OBVIOUSLY, there are rappers out there who use ‘bitch’, ‘hoe’, ‘skank’, ‘hoochie’, etc. and use it about all women, not just the ones they’re sick and tired of. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy some of it (Ludadris’ ‘Ho’ is fucking hilarious, I don’t care who gets offended). But depending on which rapper we’re talking about, ‘bitch’ could be used as an emasculating weapon in a word war and has nothing to do with women.

True, there’s DMX’s What These Bitches Want? Where he’s engaged in a long brag/screed about the groupies who chase him, wanting him for more than just a one night stand even when they know he’s married: There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia (okay)/ Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh) / Teresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)/ Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (damn) Most rappers manage at least one pussy-conquering rap per album, and this is DMX’s fourth in three.

117

It’s a fallacy that ALL rappers and hip-hop arists use profanity. GANGSTA rappers certainly do, it’s part of the image, but there are others out there.

If rap follows the same 20 year nostalgia cycle that infects the rest of American pop culture, you’ll start seeing a lot of old-school rap enjoying a resurgance in popularity in the next 3-5 years. Do your kid brother a favor and turn him on to Sugar Hill Gang, Kool Moe Dee, Special Ed, Public Enemy, Dana Dane, early LL Cool J, Slick Rick, Run DMC, Cypress Hill. Mostly profanity-free and classics in their own right.

118

Disingenuous? Nah. Smartalecky? Probably. (Smartaleckiness is either my most endearing quality or the most lethal of my fatal flaws). If by black humor you mean the comedic stylings of Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx or Chris Rock, then yes I like black humor.

If you mean Martin Lawrence (I really hate this guy!)or Bernie Mac, then no I don’t like black humor.

Vanilla.

  1. My paternal grandmother was half Blackfoot and half just plain black, my grandfather’s country of origin was lost in his acendant’s big move from the birthplace of mandkind to North Carolina. My maternal grandmother is from Puerto Rico via Spain-- as mentioned before. Nothing is known about her first husband, we did not speak of him in our household. The only I can tell about him was that he must have been a redhead, if I can go by my mother and her two full sister.

2.Oprah Winfrey. Go ahead and laugh, but the woman has smarts, money and fame and she did it all while trying to live her life with integrity and honesty. I admire that.

3.I haven’t thought about Haile Selassie since the 7th grade.
elf
I don’t agree with what the gangsta’s say, but I will defend with my life their right to say it. Although that could be the social liberal and not the black in me.

Still you gotta admit, once you hear I’m goin’ down, down baby, your street in a Range Rover. Streetsweeper baby. Cocked ready to let it go. Shimmy, shimmy coco wha? listen to it now. Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now., you can’t resist it.
I’m in a tizzy. Scylla said I had a way with words. Those geek internet fantasies are getting wilder by the minute. I just gotta get rid of those pesky Williams girls. I know, I’ll send them out from some bubble bath and beer. . .

119

Hey, Black folks!

Ever been pulled over in your car for Driving While Black? How about being stopped on the street? Based on some of the stuff I’ve been reading lately, you’d think Black people can hardly make it to work in the morning without being stopped by a cop. What’s your experience?

120

Sorry to double post, but I forgot to ask this one, which I address primarily to the ladies, although the gentlemen are welcome to respond as well. Is it just my imagination, or are black women less hung up on overweight than white women? As an obese white woman, I have always been miserable about my body, which leads to more insecurity, which leads to more eating, which leads to more fat. And so on, and so on. I often disqualify myself from opportunities to pursue romance because I feel so lousy about my body. And yet, based on my admittedly limited experience and observation, many black women are just fine with a little extra poundage, and have no problem whatsoever with seeing themselves as sexy and desirable (for which I say to them, you go, girl! I just wish I could summon the same upbeat attitude.) Is it just me, or do heavy black women seem to have a better, sexier self image than heavy white women?

I hope this isn’t a stupid question!