Thanks Falc, you know how much I love to be on top and how rarely I actually get to be there…
I really wish I got HBO. I’d love to watch SITC, and Dennis Miller, and all that great stuff. I was in my local Blockbuster™ store and saw that they have the first season of SITC on DVD…I’m planning to rent it.
Speaking of sexy stuff I didn’t get to watch, does anyone have a tape of the Ally McBeal episode where Ally and Ling kiss for a long time? I missed the first time around, was determined to see it when it rolled around as a re-run, and then missed it AGAIN. Arrggh.
I promise to send the tape back after I watch it. Won’t someone take pity on me and send it my way?
Simple: just turn the air conditioning WAY down and then huddle for warmth.
The great thing about being the person in the middle is when you’re all spooning, you don’t have to decide whether you prefer being the front spoon or the back one.
Well, I guess it’s time to let this thread sink. I want to thank everyone who took the time to post and share their experiences, and I hope you were entertained and maybe enlightened a little bit, too. I got a lot out of the discussion too, and writing my opinions and feelings down really helped clarify things for me.
Oh how sly chef!
You can’t let this thread sink. So many newbies comming in everyday. And then there are the permenant residents of this thread who wouldn’t have anywhere else to post or freaky little fetishes.
I adore the Gay Guy, but I don’t quite fit in there. This is my home do not evict me!
Now about the problem of sleeping between two people? Well, get naked and spoon. Okay, I doubt much sleeping would go on but it’s a heck of a lot of fun! Okay, how bout a ceiling fan? Turn off the water bed?
Mmmm…I tell you what, Kricket, I’ll keep an eye out for it and if people post, I’ll answer them. But I’m not going to bump it up myself anymore…I’m letting it sink or swim while I still have some dignity.
Just what you said. Basically all great artist should get out while things are still good and not wait untill they go bad.
I tried. I bumped it a few times. We really need to get a good topic going.
Poly people, Is it better to have all in bed or one at a time?
I don’t know which is better…honestly, as I have said before, my big problem is not knowing who to concentrate on. Then again, in the middle of a LONG dry spell (as far as a 3rd goes), so it’s not like I’ll need to figure out a solution to that any time soon.
Erma Bombeck once said it was easier to raise boys than girls because you always know where you stand with boys. (Her example was hearing suspicious noises upstairs, and when she calls up, “What are you doing up there?” girls will answer, “Nothing!” while setting fire to their sister’s bed, but boys will truthfully call down, “Flushing frogs down the toilet!”) So, which is easier to date - boys or girls? And why? (I mean, I already know how difficult boys can be… ;))
Meep it took me a while to read through this entire thread, but it was fun
Okay, I suppose I’ll come out here. I’m a female poly (closeted except among certain friends) heterosexual curretly in a monogamous relationship (closeted about that to family because the start of it overlapped my previous relationship and I want to have more time between telling them I broke up with my ex and telling them I have a new bf). (Yes, I might get caught from these boards, but at worst I only think one family member would find me, and I doubt it’d be that big a problem.)
Well, I’d rather have 2 males if I were having a 3some, although it won’t happen in the forseeable future. SO is very straight and as stated I’m currently unavailable. But I’m heterosexual so I’d be more comfortable with it, but I’d want them both to be bi. I don’t think it’d be much fun unless they wanted each other too. I don’t want to be the center of attention, I want it balanced. Besides, I’ve never seen homosexual sex, and I think it’d be fun.
If I were interested in someone and he told me he was bi, I’d think cool. But I doubt I’d ever be involved with someone without already knowing their sexual orientations. I don’t have much experience but both my SOs came from friendships, and I like that. Of course, I don’t expect to break up with my current SO, so it’s all hypothetical anyway.
As to the 14 year old girl, I don’t think you should assume she’s too immature to be in a relationship. I met my first SO when I was almost 15 and we were together for a little over 7 years. Yes that may be unusual, but it can happen. And while it didn’t last forever, I don’t regret it. And it was a serious relationship.
This is getting long so I’ll just throw in one quick rant. It bugs me when people assume that it isn’t a real relationship if you’re young and that if you need to reschedule something to see your boyfriend (I was in an LDR so seeing him was difficult and when done given high priority) people think you’re irresponsible or frivolous, but if you reschedule things to make time for your spouse you are this wonderful responsible loving pillar of the community. Maybe I’m just oversensitive. waves to everyone
I think it depends on what you’re looking for. Based on my past experience, if you’re looking for a physical relationship, boys are by far the easier and less complicated choice. Girls aren’t often as open and relaxed about their sexuality thanks to their early socialization. For an emotional, intimate relationship, OTOH, the opposite applies. The majority of boys are socialized to believe that sex is expected, positive, something to brag about; emotional intimacy, conversely, is potentially a sign of weakness. (note: I don’t hold such opinions about emotional intimacy…although I still think sex is something to brag about!)
Obviously there have been exceptions to both of these general cases - I’ve known sexually aggressive girls who weren’t interested in a “relationship” (and God bless 'em), and boys who placed tenderness ahead of sex. Still, stereotypes usually have some grounding in fact.
Well, my most recent extramarital relationship has ended. Badly and in a Springeresque manner.
It got me to thinking, what next?
Do any of you other bisexuals out there actively try to determine the gender of the person your next relationship will be with, or do you go with the flow?
I have been contemplating whether or not to more actively seek social situations where I would interact with bisexual women or lesbians. I mostly date men simply because I have more social contact with hetero men than with, shall we say, compatible women. Currently, the great majority of my friends are hetero, so when we go out, we usually go to “straight” bars. Bill, my husband, has his own circle of gay male friends, and I do not accompany him out very often, although he accompanies me and our friends on a fairly regular basis. So, you can see that it would take some real effort on my part if I decide to be more proactive about choosing the gender of my potential partners. Specifically, choosing to date women would require me to enter a community in which I have no preexisting social contacts.
I haven’t actually tried to be proactive in the past, but I’m thinking I might try to alternate - male - female - male - female, you know, for variety. But because the social goupings are so removed from each other right now in my sphere, that seems as limiting as the (gender) passive way I have sought relationships in the past.
I don’t know CF, I’d have to say that either of those two good-looking women that accompanied you and me on our whirlwind tour of Denver’s underbelly back in February would make a tasty snack…evil grin
I’ve contemplated this same question during those dark moments when I imagined Mrs. Chef finding this thread and tossing me out on my ear (NOTE: I no longer think she would do this), and I think I would keep my options open but would make more of an effort to meet potential male partners. Of course the first problem would be to keep Sqrlcub from going all “Fatal Attraction” on me once he heard I was single wink
BTW, if you want to talk about the breakup, I’d love to listen - email me ok? I’m incurably nosy, especially when someone I like hits a rough patch. Plus it sounds like a juicy story.
I don’t actively seek out either gender, but I’ve had better experiences overall with men. My sexual experiences with women are limited to the following (this may be referred to in the future as “Hamadryad Bears All” (not bares…BEARS)…
Married friend. Got busy with my husband and me. Did it in secret, because her husband couldn’t know (he’s homophobic and she’s FIRMLY closeted). Told me she’d never been with a woman before. Well, it turns out that she’s “never been with” eight or nine women at this point, and was (unbeknownst to me) using the SAME LINE on people for a couple of years before she met me. Plus, she was a shitty kisser.
Lesbian friend. Was actually a relationship. For one thing, she was too rough; I think she once had training as a plumber (not really, but ouch). Things are going nicely until she says, “Our relationship is none of Jim’s business.” Uhm…Jim is my HUSBAND, so I think any relationship I have is his business. Insert nine to twelve months of hellish drama over this two-month relationship and you have…CRAP.
Three different female friends. Were into me, it seems. Did some drinkin’, and I put the moves on them, and they just sorta SAT there…responded, but no initiative whatsoever, so I felt like I was forcing myself on them. They were compliant, but I don’t want COMPLIANCE…if I want compliance I’ll strap a thigh dildo to the armchair and be done with it (nasty image, but it can’t be worse than attempting to make out with these cold fish).
And…THAT’S IT. The few times I’ve been with men (extracurricularly…is that a word?) they have been assertive, playful, and undemanding.
Things are looking up, though; my track record with women should improve significantly in the next couple of months. Heh heh heh.
Oh, and by the way: Men are fun. Lots of fun. But…women are squishy and smell good.
Sorry it took me so long. I normally stay out of GD, and the length of the thread scared me off previously.
Showed me a lesson. This thread is excellent. One of the things I’ve always enjoyed about the Internet is the chance to meet new people with different backgrounds: This thread alone accomplished more than six months of chat rooms!
OK, enough gushing (no, really, Chef. Enough’s enough. OK, you freakin’ rock, ok? Now back off. ). On to some of the questions:
When is it a good time to be tell someone you’re bi? I’d say fairly soon into the dating scene: About the time that romance enters the picture.
What would you do if you found out your partner was bi? It’s happened twice to me, once bad and once good. The bad experience was bad because of deception: She slept with her best friend, told me about it after the fact, and was confused about why I thought it was cheating (“It’s another woman! It doesn’t count!”). Fortunatly, things hadn’t progressed very far with her, and I ended it shortly. The other time she simply told me outright, and it was no problem at all. We both made it clear to each other that we weren’t going to date anyone else while we saw each other, and so her bisexuality wasn’t an issue.
The only question I have right now: What is a beard?
(I’m sure this has been addressed in one of the Ask The Gay Guy threads, and I’m sorry for not looking there first, but I’m not going to be able to read them unti lnext week, and I’d like to ask this question now, before I forget. )
