Ask the complete and total asshole!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Why do you always drive so slowly in the passing lane? Why don’t you get the f**k out of my way?

22

[QUOTE=Nutty Bunny]
Why do you always drive so slowly in the passing lane? Why don’t you get the f**k out of my way?
[/QUOTE]

Speed limit’s 60. I’m going 60. :mad:

23

That proves you’re an asshole. The speed limit is 65.

24

[QUOTE=betenoir]
How can I become more like you (I think I’m halfway there)?
[/QUOTE]

What, a “hole”?

25

What is the air velocity of an unladen swallow?

26

[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
Do you ever feel guilty about being an asshole? Do you wish you could change your personality so that you wouldn’t be?

The reason I ask is that I am not an asshole but I am a prick and I often feel guilty about it. Changing such a big part of your personality is hard though.

(Please don’t swear at me in your reply. It is an honest question.)
[/QUOTE]

If you feel guilty for being an asshole, then you aren’t really an asshole; you’re a regular person behaving like an asshole. This ain’t How The Grinch Stole Christmas. My heart isn’t going to grow three sizes one day. This is a constant, consistent way of being. You don’t like it, you can…oh yeah, no swearing at you.

27

[QUOTE=tdn]
What is the air velocity of an unladen swallow?
[/QUOTE]

European or African? :mad:

28

[QUOTE=Nutty Bunny]
That proves you’re an asshole. The speed limit is 65.
[/QUOTE]

I wouldn’t know. I don’t look at the signs. :mad:

29

Why do you call yourself oncecentstamp? Is that all you think you’re worth?

30

[QUOTE=Anaamika]
Why do you call yourself oncecentstamp? Is that all you think you’re worth?
[/QUOTE]

At the time I took the name, it was current and topical, as the USPS* had just jacked the postage from $0.37 to $0.38. Thus, in spite of their small value, everyone needed one cent stamps.

*The assholes. :mad:

31

You know, I don’t think you’re an asshole. I think you’re just faking it.

32

::pulls back collar of shirt up and over forehead::

I AM ASSHOLIO!

33

[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
European or African? :mad:
[/QUOTE]

Gee, thanks. You just had to be an asshole in answering my question, didn’t you?

34

Are you just an arsehole or are you…

A Flamin’ ASSHOLE!!

35

[QUOTE=Mindfield]
::pulls back collar of shirt up and over forehead::

I AM ASSHOLIO!
[/QUOTE]

Are you threatening me? :mad:

36

Is this your theme song?

37

Why dont you turn your frown upside down?

38

My friends say I’m an asshole. What should I do? Should I be even more of an asshole?

39

[QUOTE=pool]
My friends say I’m an asshole. What should I do? Should I be even more of an asshole?
[/QUOTE]

Hell yes. Nothing’s more annoying than a dilettante asshole. Go for the gold.

40

[QUOTE=Autolycus]
Why dont you turn your frown upside down?
[/QUOTE]

:slight_smile: Better? Now leave me the fuck alone.