I started two threads today. One about brown wingtips, the other about bouncing boobies. Care to guess which one got more replies, asshole?
I hesitate to ask, but someone I know went through an asshole phase and it was accompanied by many episodes of mooning. Do you moon and is there any chance that this is a phase? Would you moon your mother?
Jimmy Buffet bites assburgers in paradise. If I had the remote control, I’d nuke Margaritaville from orbit.
Probably the boobies. Don’t blame me, assmunch; I posted to the shoe thread only. :mad:
What kind of bran cereals would you endorse?
Astroglide or KY Jelly?
Do hemorrhoids embarrass you?
How do you feel about the term “brown starfish”?
Not even close!
The ones without any fruit on them. Just plain bran.
K-Y Warming.
No, they don’t bother me at all. I’m not the one who has to look at them.
Don’t get cute. :mad:
Hey, dipshit, I never said the answers or advice would be correct. :mad:
(bolding mine)
Wow, you really are an asshole!
I admire that. As a man seeking enlightenment from an asshole, such as yourself, I will soon be transferred to a different job in a different location. I have a position of responsibility and have been tasked with training my replacement. If I do this well I will get no recognition. If don’t do this at all, my boss, who I strongly dislike, will look really bad. Should I train my replacement, and how many false charges should I make against my boss after I have left?
SSG Schwartz
False charges can be a bit risky, maybe even coming back to bite you. I’d stick with the one-two punch of training the replacement poorly, and initiating Operation Office Supply Freedom™. I know firsthand that government pens are terrific. And well they should be, for the $18 a piece the taxpayer pays for them. :mad:
Well crap. All this time I thought it was rock ‘n’ roll and hoochie coo. I just can’t keep up.
Well if you can’t keep it up what are you going to do with the hoochie coo?
(Just working on being an asshole)
do you want to make out?
Hightail it back to Slutsylvania, slatternly wench. :mad:
Um, no. He’s mine. Back off, sister.
::eyes the OP::
So… how you doin’?
Why don’t you just go fuck yourself?
Or are there anatomical difficulties involved?
Having seen your pics in the picture thread, I’m curious…do you find that many women let you get away with being an asshole because you’re cute?
Oh, and do you ever blame your sarcasm on British sitcoms? I find people don’t like “I watched a lot of British sitcoms as a child” as an answer to “Why do you have to be so fucking sarcastic?”
Do you piss on public toilet seats?
Do you walk around in the summer time saying “How 'bout this heat?”
Do you drive around in a hot pink 1976 Cadillac El Dorado convertible while sucking down quarter pound cheeseburgers in those old-fashioned, non-biodegradable styrofoam containers, and toss the styrofoam container right out the side after wiping your mouth with the American flag?
edit: looking through the thread again, I noticed Hal Briston referenced the above questions, in a roundabout fashion…dammit.
Do you club a baby seal to make a better deal?
How can you claim to be an asshole when you live in Houston?