Ask the Extraterrestial

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

[QUOTE=Trion]
Could you please stop bringing back Whitley Streiber? Next time you take him, just keep him.
[/QUOTE]

Well, see, we need guys like Streiber for our counter-intelligence training. Every agent much kidnap a suitably simple lower life form and effectively disseminate propaganda into the subject culture. Agents are encouraged to be as creative as possible, because we get a cut on all book/movie deals (see anal probing, above).

42

[QUOTE=ThisSpaceForRent]
Oh My Og…He/She (op) IS for real and knows the TRUTH…why did you take him back WAY too soon??

Oh great Oakminster, if I may ask…'If og is all powerfull can She/He make a rock so heavey that He/She can not lift~?~?

tsfr
[/QUOTE]

  1. He had to come home. His mother was calling him. Dum de dum de doodley do.
  2. There is no Og. Man greated Og in his own image. It’s an effective means to control the rabble. Encourage tithing and sin taxes whenever possible.
43

[QUOTE=ThisSpaceForRent]
Oh My Og…He/She (op) IS for real and knows the TRUTH…why did you take him back WAY too soon??

Oh great Oakminster, if I may ask…'If og is all powerfull can She/He make a rock so heavey that He/She can not lift~?~?

tsfr
[/QUOTE]

  1. He had to come home. His mother was calling him. Dum de dum de doodley do.
  2. There is no Og. Man created Og in his own image. It’s an effective means to control the rabble. Encourage tithing and sin taxes whenever possible.
44

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
Well, see, we need guys like Streiber for our counter-intelligence training. Every agent much kidnap a suitably simple lower life form and effectively disseminate propaganda into the subject culture. Agents are encouraged to be as creative as possible, because we get a cut on all book/movie deals (see anal probing, above).
[/QUOTE]

Are you suggesting that the test to become an operative includes causing Whitley Streiber to go missing, messing with his head and implanting weird suggestions into his brain?

Jesus, you guys need a better test. The blinking yellow light at the intersection qualifies.

45

I presume you don’t serve the Overlord, and instead follow Antonia?

46

[QUOTE=Trion]
Are you suggesting that the test to become an operative includes causing Whitley Streiber to go missing, messing with his head and implanting weird suggestions into his brain?

Jesus, you guys need a better test. The blinking yellow light at the intersection qualifies.
[/QUOTE]

It doesn’t have to be Streiber. Any simple life form will suffice. The top graduate this year did Cheney. The scoring is avoiding capture, amusing the instructors, and generating media coverage.

Can’t use the yellow blinker. The Illuminatti patented that, and the royalties are outrageous.

47

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
Got caught banging a Sector Overlord’s daughter. The ride here was on an intergalactic garbage scow.
[/QUOTE]

Keep your own garbage , space sodomite ! :stuck_out_tongue:

48

[QUOTE=Rasa]
I presume you don’t serve the Overlord, and instead follow Antonia?
[/QUOTE]

If you’d ever seen Antonia in tight jeans, you’d follow her too.

49

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Keep your own garbage , space sodomite ! :stuck_out_tongue:
[/QUOTE]

It is more blessed to give than to receive.

50

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
It is more blessed to give than to receive.
[/QUOTE]

Amen , brother …

51

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
If you’d ever seen Antonia in tight jeans, you’d follow her too.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah I don’t imagine Lucan looks too good in jeans, the whole lich thing and all.

52

[QUOTE=Rasa]
Yeah I don’t imagine Lucan looks too good in jeans, the whole lich thing and all.
[/QUOTE]

Well, that and he’s a guy.

53

So what do you think of The X-Files and Aliens and all that?

Are you buddies with Cthulu and have you met up with the Doctor yet?

54

[QUOTE=Kythereia]
So what do you think of The X-Files and Aliens and all that?

Are you buddies with Cthulu and have you met up with the Doctor yet?
[/QUOTE]

Most of your “ufologists” and related media/entertainment are part of the disinformation campaign we’ve been running since '47.

Cthulu is no one’s buddy. He’s an insufferable ass, and you do not want to get stuck with his bar tab.

The Doctor is a huge hit on Karaoke Night. He does a lot of Billy Idol, and the chicks dig it.

55

Okay, I have to ask. Who pissed you enough to turn him into a tree?

56

[QUOTE=Mindfield]
Okay, I have to ask. Who pissed you enough to turn him into a tree?
[/QUOTE]

I told the little bastard not to drive down my streat with the mega-bass rattling my windows again. He wooden listen. Now, he’ll leaf me alone.

57

So. L. Ron Hubbard. Visionary, madman, or source of endless amusement?

And is Battlefield: Earth The worst thing ever to appear in the Universe, or just the worst movie?

And in an effort to avoid the unexcluded middle: Or was it a documentary?

58

[QUOTE=kaylasdad99]
So. L. Ron Hubbard. Visionary, madman, or source of endless amusement?

And is Battlefield: Earth The worst thing ever to appear in the Universe, or just the worst movie?

And in an effort to avoid the unexcluded middle: Or was it a documentary?
[/QUOTE]

Hubbard is to literature as Yokozuna* was to ballet dancing.

Battlefield Earth was endurable as a book, when there was nothing else unread on the shelf. I’d rather go to a rap concert** than sit through the movie.
*500+ pound pro wrestler never known to have demonstrated any ballet skills

**My musical tastes run to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, etc.

59

Can you believe it’s not butter?!?

60

Coke or Pepsi?