When I look in a mirror, I see…me. And I think that would be true regardless of what I looked like or how much I weighed. Just me.
That doesn’t mean I delude myself about whether I’m attractive to women (sorry, Sqrl)–to most of them, I’m not. There was a time that bothered me, but it no longer does.
And I’m afraid my ex-wife ended up with every nude picture of me that exists–I refuse to even consider what she might be doing with them.
I was on an airplane last month sitting next to a very overweight man. There were two seats next to each other which we were sitting in and one empty seat on the other side of the aisle. I didn’t want to insult my seatmate, but I also thought it would be more comfortable for both of us if I was to move so he could have two adjacent seats. After a moment of debate with myself about whether or not I would hurt his feelings I moved accross the aisle.
My question: Would you have been insulted or glad for more room?
Not subtle? I don’t know, but I think I pick up a pretty subtle Zappa reference in the second quote. Or maybe all Zappa references seem subtle, because so few people get them. Or maybe you just misspelled “serious.” Or “poncho.”
Never mind.
Okay, see, I really need this as a sig sometime, it is a new one on me, and got me laughing.
Also, I don’t understand the joke about the nun saying blank?
sqrl: no, even though im done being hung-up or ashamed for being fat, i dont see myself as attractive at all. i guess it still bothers me in some heavily- (paging dr freud) sublimated way. i see myself as fucking obese. approoaching maximum density, thats me. im surprised im not punching holes in the sidewalk as i stroll down the street.
miller: plus-sized as a phrase doesnt have much relevance to my life unless its in reference to my dinner (or, a few months ago, to my cocktails). it is a smarmy euphemistic phrase though, kind of a lane bryant type of word, no? you can just TELL it first trilled from the lips of some skinny-ass shitbag.
special to mro: thanks for noticing! maybe my next thread will be: stupid things you still say after all these years. however, i feel compelled to point out that this may be the first (and last) time ive seen the words ‘zappa’ and ‘subtle’ in the same sentence.
I first heard “plus-size” on Entertainment Tonight, or some similar Hollywood TV rag. They were describing the then-recent boom in “plus-sized” actresses. Worse than the term, were their examples: Camryn Manheim (fair enough), Drew Barrymore (Uhhh…), and Kate Winslet (are you outta your freaking mind?).
…for this very revealing and amusing thread! I too have to admit to being a “hawg” (and this is how I refer to myself so please no hurt feelings, okay?)
I find your attitude so refreshing and there is not a hint of “what’s he really saying” in what I have read. This is so unique because most overweight people (me included sometimes) are great comedians in public and very sad in private. I don’t get that from you. Sounds like you are married to a wonderful woman too.
Listen, I just gotta ask this: When you get out of bed in the morning, do you have to, like bounce a couple of times on the side and then launch yourself? I do! 
Also you mentioned being a rock star? Would we know you?
Thanks again for your candor and for all the smiles! It’s great to meet you!
Quasimodem
essvee, let me just tell you how utterly adorable you are!
I’m not a ‘chubby chaser’, per se, but I do like the football-player type look. Big…not fat but not ripped either. I just find that look SO attractive!
Anyhoo, rock on, essvee!
Yeah, you know the movie The Full Monty, when the character who isn’t thin feels ashamed and says “Who’d want to look at me?” First of all, that storyline made the movie. Second of all, that is exactly the sort of build I love. I married a skinny guy (go figure) but I like a bigger guy. Yum yum yum.
Dear fat guy:
Have you tried “Miracle Diet X?” Thousnads have successfully lost weight on Miracle Diet X and you could too! Why, all those other weight loss are just scams while Miracle Diet X is scientifically proven to work! Just give us an unexpectedly large check and you’ll lose weight soon!
A stairmaster will do surprisingly little to condition you for hiking. Oh, you’ll be in better cardio shape, but if you really want to condition yourself for hiking, get a treadmill, especially a trekker. I’m saving up for a Nordictrack Trekker (25% incline treadmill) to replace my broken (@^%#%! Stamina products) stairclimber to better condition me for backpacking. If you’re living in the Ozarks, the trekker will better simulate the hills you’ll be hiking.
I’m with Cranky & Juanita here, that I do love a guy with meat on his bones–and whenever I’ve dated a skinny guy, I do my best to put weight on him (and since I’m a chef, I usually succeed). Ask my SO. He was 160# when I met him, and in three years, he’s put on around 60#.
About this “skinny chefs are bad chefs” falsehood…
essvee was so right in describing the day of a chef and all the work that goes into it. I’m a big girl myself (5’5" & 220#), and after working for 4 months at my current position, I’ve dropped close to 25 pounds just from the amount of work, with all the lifting, standing, the occasional hauling 50# bags of sugar down a flight of stairs, and just moving, moving, moving. I do have to admit, my restaurant is very good about giving us breaks and making sure that we don’t burn out, but we still work our asses off (and in my case, literally).
With the amount of physical activity that is entailed in a chef’s day, it’s really not a surprise that there are plenty of skinny chefs out there. Also, there are many chefs, because of the physical demand at work, also work out to keep in their best shape because it does help them at work.
One of my chef instructors at school worked as a private chef before she became a teacher. She was very much a health nut (she taught the nutrition class) and took very good care of herself, but was also an amazing caterer. She related the time when she was interviewed for a position as private chef for Burt Renoylds & Loni Anderson (when they were together) and they passed her by because Loni thought that “she was too skinny to be that good of a chef.”
ummmmm…i do have a question.
now, i am a black female, which will explain why i am asking this question:
what’s going on with fat white people’s elbows??? why do they look greenish-grey all the time? i have yet to see an average joe/jane fat white person with clean looking elbows…
I’ve never tried them because I know they don’t work. The only effective and healthy way to lose weight is to watch how much you eat and to get in some moderate exercise. People who go for MD X are in for some serious disappoinments. They’ll probably gain back more weight then they lost.
Marc
**
I’m pretty tall and I’ve had a hard time finding a treadmill that can match my stride. The last hike I went on the hardest part was the 300 foot ascent at the end of the trail. It was steep, rocky, and a was closer to climbing stairs then walking on an incline. For me at this point I think I’d be a lot better off with more cardio then anything else.
Hills aren’t a problem. It is the rocky stair like surfaces that ones finds at Petit Jean State Park that gave me the most difficulty.
Marc
Let me chime in here, as a member of the club.
No, I am not a comedian. I have a sharp wit, and could cut thoughless morons to shreds if provoked. I’m happy to see no one is assuming overweight people are jolly.
So, Sqrl…how you doin’? 
jayjay
taddycat: im not that fat, yet, but if i were i do believe id be grateful for the extra room. i mean, if i were that fat, my folds would be touching you, and id be breathing laboriously through my mouth, and looking at your peanuts enviously. it wouldnt be comfortable for either of us.
bwk: its not my line, but i love it as if it were. take it and be happy. the nun said ‘blank’ is a reference to the greatest game show of all time, match game with gene rayburn. damn they got drunk on that show!
quasimodem: my wife gets against the wall and pushes me out the bed with her feet. soon she’ll have to back the jeep up and run the winch through the window. as to rock n roll, nah, never famous, me. a bunch of pals and i had a very fun band after college for a couple years, some years ago. we were very successful on a regional level, played nantucket and other beachy spots for a week at a time in the summer. it kept nine of us in dollars for well over a year. i miss it sometimes, i just took my horn down to get cleaned up, gonna start playin again.
juanitatech: you, my dear, have officially made my year. i shall most indubitably continue to rock on, in no small measure because of your kind compliments.
vivian: with all due respect, that is a very strange question. i have gone into the bathroom to inspect my elbows, and they are the same color as the rest of me. perhaps other fat white peoples elbows are discolored from resting them on, like, cheap oilcloth tablecloths while they watch jerry springer and eat entire packages of toaster strudel and pepperoni-filled hot pockets. dont laugh, i seen it happen!
to everybody: all this love makes me have to pee!
Ah! Gotcha. I see that show sometimes when I’m visiting folk with the game show network. It is pretty funny.
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Saint Zero! I thought you were leaving the boards. Good to see you.
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Hey Jayjay. /me blows kisses. Did Art ever finish remodeling bearidise?
HUGS!
Sqrl