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Correct. You will gain the special right to wear spandex without being laughed at. Not to mention the special rights to be discriminated against in housing and employment; to be harassed and/or attacked; for this to be ‘your problem, because you provoked it’; for your enjoyment of sex to be considered perverse; if you have AIDS, to ‘deserve it’; if you want or have children, to be considered an unfit parent; to be forced continually to question your worth as a human being; to be told you’re just going through a phase; and to have your life’s partner be a legal stranger. YMMV, of course.
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No. This means, apparently, that it is not considered a disability, but an enhancement. Therefore it may be jealousy that provokes the assorted responses enumerated in question 1.
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I’ll let Lea answer this: “I love Women’s Crafts Bookstore because they have a 5% lesbian discount. …How do they know? That’s the job I want: lesbian tester. ‘Just step into the back room, miss! Yeah, this won’t hurt a bit.’ I tell you how they know: I swear to God, they fucking ask. I’m on line behind this woman, never seen her before. And the clerk says to her, ‘We have a five percent lesbian discount. Are you a lesbian?’ And the woman said, ‘No!’ Not even for a 5% discount would she be a lesbian for like 30 seconds. It’s not even like she had to do anything! Don’t you think it would be interesting to find out what percentage she would become a lesbian for? 'We have a 25% discount, are you a lesbian? 30, 40, 50… Ok, I’ll give it to you, just say you’re a lesbian, just say it oooooonce!”
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No. You may prefer the Pet Shop Boys.
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You can have sex with men. That’s about it.
*Originally posted by egkelly *
**
(1) I understand that as a member of a minority group, I can qualify for special treatment
**
Did you ever see the Eddie Murphy skit where he pretends to be a white person? Well, being gay is a lot like that. All you have to do is walk into a bank and state “I’m gay” and they will say, “Here’s some money. Pay it back whenever you feel like it.”
However, that is top secret information. No straight is ever supposed to know about how we score backstage passes, front row seats, or interest free credit cards.
**
(2) Does being “gay” make me eligible to be covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act?
**
It’s not necessary to go on disabilty. It’s not like you need to work for a living. See point #1.
**
(3) can I get discounts at certain retail establishments?
**
You’re a gay man. You wouldn’t be caught dead in a retail store. The dress code requires that you shop in much classier shops. However, most of the fashion world is gay, so scoring high-price threads at a discount is not a problem.
Now, if you decide to become a lesbian, the retail store is the perfect place to stock up on flannel and comfortable shoes.
**
(4) will I have to become enamored of the music of “The Village People”?
**
Again, it depends on what you choose to be.
If you’re a gay man, yes.
As a lesbian, you are required to listen to ani difranco, kd lang, and other female singers who don’t capitalize their names.
**
(5)Are there any other benefits that will accrue to me?
**
Absolutely, but I have revealed too much already. Get your membership card to the Homosexual Agenda first and then we’ll let you know the rest of our secrets.
By the way, you should not use quotation marks unless you are quoting something. So:
Wrong: I would like to become “gay.”
Right: I would like to become gay.
Right: I would like to become “gay.”[sup]1[/sup]
(1) Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky. Epistemology of the Closet. Berkeley: UCal, 1992.
Yeah, but Matt, women get that option without being gay. Nice of you to provide quick coverage while 'Sprix’s away, though (is he going to visit Montreal in his travels?).
God, I hope so.
My take on this list…
(1) I understand that as a member of a minority group, I can qualify for special treatment
Nope.
(2) Does being “gay” make me eligible to be covered under the Americans With disabilities Act?
Nope.
(3) can I get discounts at certain retail establishments?
Not unless you have friends to hook you up. Then again, that doesnt depend on sexual orientation at all. Well i suppose if youre a slick talker you can get discounts too.
(4) will I have to become enamored of the music of “The Village People”?
Hell no! I don’t like the Village People at all, and I do hate disco as well.
(5)Are there any other benefits that will accrue to me?
Well, chicks will dig you. You may even have a few women proclaim that yes, you are a part of the “All the good men are married or gay!” stereotype.
Nah, you dont look “that gay”. I think you’re pretty cute, so i can see why gay men flirt with you. Are you a naturally flirty type? Perhaps he just thinks youre really nice and thought he’d take a chance (maybe they all do)? Could you send him out here to California? :).
I on the other hand must be really dense to guys flirting with me. I dont see it (well i guess i’m not out around town enough). Anyway, i asked Seadiver if her gaydar went off when she met me and she said no. Hmm, maybe i just dont give out signals at all, so guys dont flirt?
Cool. I picked John when i was trying to be all sneaky and crafty because i was thinking “John Doe”. Anyway, David’s BF/friend (i call him both cause i’m still confused as hell :)), is named Troy
{sigh} I go on a vacation, and within hours my thread dies. Has the Gay Guy run its course? 
(Oh, needless to say, I’m back.)
Esprix
ESPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!
happy dance
Oh, while you were out we got a new lesbian. Say hi to andygirl.
Just to get you warmed up (as opposed to fluffed up – apparently, that’s Matt’s job!;)), I’d like to have your opinion (and other thread regulars’ opinions) on “Chuck and Buck.” (I’ve got my own comments, of course; I’ll reserve them until I’ve heard what you have to say.)
Hey, Esprix. I’m “the new lesbian.” Nice to meet you.
My girlfriend is also a member here… quietgirldownthehall, but she’s a die hard lurker so you’ll never see her post. I’m 18, she’s 17. We’re from Southern DE- I understand you’ve been to Rehoboth? Rehoboth is my second home. I write for CAMP Rehoboth.
So would it be worth it to start an “ask the lesbian” thread? 
Ooh, don’t I wish.
Ahh, welcome back Esprix!
I have a bit of news to share (i dont mean to steal yer thunder, but it concerns the last question i posted). Well, it seems my suspicions were confirmed about David. Seems two weeks ago we were at their place for a little party. As we were watching a friend’s film he made in Spain, I glance over and see David and his BF pretty much cuddling. Not a shock at all, but it did confirm what I had suspected all along.
As for me, recently I decided to come out to my friends. I’m still working on it as I am not able to see them too often, but i’ve told a couple friends. Both took it well. One was happy for me, but it was a huge shock because he says no one suspected it. The other was actually pretty non-challant. He thought I was joking at first, but then said it was cool. Says he had a gay friend in HS. He also asked if I knew about David, which i told him i did.
The next one to tell is David, so i want to have a bit of a heart to heart with him (I called him today, still waiting for him to return my call). I’m hoping he’ll open up to me, and talk about himself and his BF (we really dont know much about his BF at all). So, I think for our relationship this will be a good thing.
Anyway, after that, just two others (my circle of friends who I hang out with is small). Matt, who is one of them may have the biggest shock reaction, because he seems a bit uncomfortable about it. But, i feel it’s important for him to know because I consider him a true and dear friend. Ann will probably be shocked, but wont think it a big deal at all (the best thing about my friends is how non-issue most things are with them).
Hey, everyone, can I join the fun here? SqrlCub can vounch for me, as I came out in his Friend of God convert me thread. I’ve outted myself in a few others, too.
I’m queer, I’m Pagan (Wicca) and I’ve a few years of experience under my belt. 
Well, while I’m not Esperix, forgive me for putting an answer to this, even though it won’t be 100% representative.
I don’t think anyone chooses it. If you think about it, why would you ‘choose’ to be a social pariah who is constantly under siege by those who are close minded, morally opposed to your existance, and would kill you if you had a chance. We get fired from jobs by some employers for our ‘preference’ and there are other slings and arrows we have to endure for who we are.
I didn’t choose this, but I also know I have no attraction for women sexually, and only feel fulfilled in a relationship with a man. It is just as hard for a gay man to find a good partner as it does a straight woman, but at least if you are a straight woman you can go and meet men in public where ever you want. We have to be more careful. If we even look at the wrong man in the right/wrong way, we can potentially get killed and then have our murderer get off on the concept of ‘moral outrage.’
Most of us are not lucky enough to have a partner who has shared medical benefits through work, we cannot file taxes jointly, and if our partner gets sick, many hospitals will NOT let us see them in ICU.
These are just some of the inequities. This is why I get honked off when people throw around the words: choice, preference, and lifestyle. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t sign on for this BS term of duty. But, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, at least.
Just my two cents.
Kirk
Good post, Kirk. There’s a Danilo waiting for you…somewhere.
I didn’t choose [to be gay] - I was chosen! Are you serious? I get to be queer? Oh, thank you. I didn’t even fill out the application, I am soooo thrilled. No, I did. I bought the ticket, I scratched it off … Look, I’m a lesbian! I won!
- Suzanne Westenhoefer
What’s a Danilo?
Your comments are requested in this thread. Specifically, regarding the post by xtnjohnson.