Ask the guy who just lost his virginity

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
Pics?
[/QUOTE]

No.

[QUOTE=twickster]
Would she be pissed to find out you’d started this thread?
[/QUOTE]

She would probably find it odd, but I don’t see her being angry about it. First of all, neither of us consider it all too sacred of a subject. Secondly, this isn’t going to be a blow by blow (no pun intended. I wouldn – You know what? That’s a pretty good pun, and I fully intended it) account of the moment. The details I have provided were only given to establish the fact that it was a pleasant experience for both of us, and that losing your virignity doesn’t always have to be the most humiliating experience of your life. I’m not interested in making a steamy sex thread. There’s plenty of other sex threads out there if you want to read about the subject.

I started this thread as someone who a couple years ago really had no clue where to start in the dating game, had no idea how attraction between the sexes worked, or how to catch the eye of someone else, and who would have really appreciated knowing how everything worked. It’s an area of life that’s extremely hard to improve yourself in because of the amount of disinformation out there. A lot of people who have success don’t know why they have it and a the people that don’t will just totally drag you down.

Would I like her to read this thread? I don’t think so. I mean, it’s pretty well tied into the spaz I used to be and I would just assume leave that part of me in the dark. I’m proud of the ME from two years ago that has the determination and brains to seek a change. No so much the ME of the past that needed the change.

[QUOTE=tdn]
I have a question – You’re lumping little old me in with David DeAngelo?

Nice! :stuck_out_tongue:
[/QUOTE]

Oh, just enjoy it :stuck_out_tongue: .

[QUOTE=Duke of Rat]
Here’s a hint:

Next time she finishes and you don’t, don’t take that as a signal that you have to stop. Sometimes she can finish again, and again. And again. The “finish line” isn’t set, perseverance can be rewarding.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, I didn’t. I was just having a hard time concentrating since this was my first time and I had a thousand things running through my head. There had been so many other things that had already made it a great night for me up until that point that I was content to just leave the situation be and go back to cuddling.

[QUOTE=Duckster]
Did you use a new condom or the the one that’s been in your wallet since you were 14?
[/QUOTE]

A new one.

[QUOTE=Marley23]
Congrats and everything, but maybe somebody in a past thread should have suggested that gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Is the kiss and tell policy absolute? I have indulged some details, but I haven’t felt like I’ve gone too far. I do have good intentions in starting this thread, I’m not just out looking for attention or trolling. Being somewhere in between oblivious and brassy, I’m not always sensitive to moments in which I overstep my bounds. If there’s a strong consensus that this thread is a bit much I’ll ask a mod to close/delete it.

22

Weren’t you the guy who was just asking how to kiss a couple of weeks ago?

Sheesh, talk about moving fast!

23

[QUOTE=JoeSki]
Is the kiss and tell policy absolute? I have indulged some details, but I haven’t felt like I’ve gone too far. I do have good intentions in starting this thread, I’m not just out looking for attention or trolling. Being somewhere in between oblivious and brassy, I’m not always sensitive to moments in which I overstep my bounds. If there’s a strong consensus that this thread is a bit much I’ll ask a mod to close/delete it.
[/QUOTE]

You’ve not gone too far and kissing and telling is entirely up to those kissing and being kissed. If you think she would be fine with you discussing this publically, then that’s all that really matters.

24

[QUOTE=JoeSki]
No.
[/QUOTE]
Oh well, someone had to ask. :smiley:

In either event, congratulations. If your first time was as an adult, with someone you truly care about, and you feel not a hint of regret or awkwardness, then you have many of us at a disadvantage.

If this isn’t too prying a question, was this the first time you two had engaged in any sort of extreme intimacy, or was this the final “base” after having already achieved sexual gratification through non-vaginally-penetrative means?

25

[QUOTE=Pullet]
This confuses me. I’m pretty sure if my husband didn’t finish, his internal organs would rupture.
[/QUOTE]

If his finishing involves internal organs he needs to get to a urologist because something ain’t connected up right.

26

As a woman, I’m very happy to hear that she finished. Good on you!
Not that it’s solely your responsibility, but for the first time, that’s a very positive thing.

27

[QUOTE=JoeSki]
Oh, just enjoy it :stuck_out_tongue:
[/QUOTE]

Oh, I’m enjoying it alright. Just seeing my name on the list with him is pretty cool. I was listening to some of his stuff this morning as I was getting ready for work. I’ve got something going on tonight and I want him in my head for it.

Who is this Styles you mentioned? Do you mean Style? The guy that’s on the Online series?

28

[QUOTE=Lionne]
As a woman, I’m very happy to hear that she finished.
[/QUOTE]

Interesting. Are there still guys out there that don’t take that very seriously? I just assumed that every guy who’s not a complete moron knows his priorities.

29

[QUOTE=tdn]
Oh, I’m enjoying it alright. Just seeing my name on the list with him is pretty cool. I was listening to some of his stuff this morning as I was getting ready for work. I’ve got something going on tonight and I want him in my head for it.

Who is this Styles you mentioned? Do you mean Style? The guy that’s on the Online series?
[/QUOTE]

Style is the guy who wrote “The Game”.

30

That was Neil Strauss.

Are they the same guy? They sort of look a little bit alike, though I’ve never seen them together.

31

[QUOTE=tdn]
Interesting. Are there still guys out there that don’t take that very seriously? I just assumed that every guy who’s not a complete moron knows his priorities.
[/QUOTE]

Yes. There are.

Take my word for it.

32

[QUOTE=tdn]
Are they the same guy?
[/QUOTE]

Nevermind. A quick Google cleared that up. And now I feel like an idiot.

33

[QUOTE=tdn]
Nevermind. A quick Google cleared that up. And now I feel like an idiot.
[/QUOTE]

throws rocks at you

34

Congrats, and don’t worry too much about not finishing. I didn’t my first time either, and for all the same anxiety-related reasons you mentioned. Plus my 30 minutes was up.

35

[QUOTE=tdn]
Interesting. Are there still guys out there that don’t take that very seriously? I just assumed that every guy who’s not a complete moron knows his priorities.
[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately, yes. I have dated 2 men my age (24-28) who were great guys in most all areas; smart, social, good-looking, and respectful. They knew what they were doing in the bedroom and after that first awkward time, things were fine. But as time went on, mutual pleasure became less of a priority on his part. And we’re not talking years, we’re talking a couple of months. I tried talking about it, which helped for a while but nothing really lasted. It just got more awkward and more stressful and eventually that was it.
Being called ‘greedy’ was a major surprise, and got me pretty angry. I see no reason to limit my fun just because I can do it more times than he can.

36

[QUOTE=Lionne]
Being called ‘greedy’ was a major surprise, and got me pretty angry.
[/QUOTE]

I can’t blame you. Wow.

37

[QUOTE=Lionne]
Unfortunately, yes. I have dated 2 men my age (24-28) who were great guys in most all areas; smart, social, good-looking, and respectful. They knew what they were doing in the bedroom and after that first awkward time, things were fine. But as time went on, mutual pleasure became less of a priority on his part. And we’re not talking years, we’re talking a couple of months. I tried talking about it, which helped for a while but nothing really lasted. It just got more awkward and more stressful and eventually that was it.
Being called ‘greedy’ was a major surprise, and got me pretty angry. I see no reason to limit my fun just because I can do it more times than he can.
[/QUOTE]

Your last sentence has me curious. Are you saying that one is not enough for you after he is done and you think he should go on and on until you’re satisfied? Because that does sound pretty greedy.

38

Did she know it was your first time? If so, when did you have the discussion with her about it, and what was her reaction?

I ask because I had a similar situation with my husband, ten years ago. He was 21 as well (We split up after dating for about a year and got back together in 2002). It took him a while of us being friends with an obvious but unrequited attraction to one another to tell me that he was a virgin. I think he thought I’d freak, but I (obviously) didn’t.

There’s something to be said for teaching a guy everything he knows. :wink:

39

Aw crap, one less fellow virgin on the boards.

Y’know, if I was an atheist 2 years ago… … …of course then I’d prolly be down a good friend. Sex is very complicated when you aren’t getting any ^^*

40

I liked reading this post.

The first time I had intercourse was on my wedding night. We were both 23. Given that we were already… you know, well acquainted… we just assumed that everything was going to happen naturally. I expected pain, but no real mechanical issues.

I knew things were going downhill when I heard him say, ‘‘Uh, is it in?’’ and I realized I had no idea how to answer that question.

In fact, we ended up very confused, which was hysterical but not very sexy. (It was a beautiful evening, though, because we weren’t attached to the need for things to be ‘‘perfect’’.) It took weeks to figure out what we were doing… just the basic concept of ‘‘missionary’’ was baffling. To be perfectly frank, we still don’t have it all figured out (A year and a half later.) I still can’t believe there were some creatures roaming the wild one day that had this revelation and were willing to experiment enough to make sure tab A got into slot B. They make it look so easy in TV and movies. If there’s such thing as ‘‘sexual instinct,’’ methinks the Poontang Fairy passed over us that fateful night.

But ultimately I’m sure it’s brought us closer, or [Insert Smarmy Platitude #45782]. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d want to have such an adventure with. Just another one of the quirky joys of being married.