I have a topic that I’m somewhat embarrassed about, which is why I’m glad I’m talking to you folks rather than someone I know and who actually knows me.
I’m in my early 30s and have a rather spotty romantic history. I’ve had only one real girlfriend in my life, when I was in my early 20s. We dated for about a year before a) she moved away to go to school, and b) while we intended to have a long-distance relationship, she ended up cheating on me. While we were intimate, we never had sex.
About a year after that, I finally lost my virginity in a drunken tryst on my birthday. Since then, I’ve had sex with around a half-dozen women. It’s always been after drinking at a party or the bar, thus it’s always been drunken sex.
Here’s the prob. I’ve never been very good at it. I’m a little – shall we say – quick (more from lack of experience than anything, I think). Besides which, I’ve never been all that original, sticking to the couple main positions. One of the things that terrifies me about getting into another relationship is that I’m not going to be able to hold my own in the sack. Especially given my age (and the degree of experience that it should imply), I’m quite concerned that I’ll suffer not only embarrassment about my inability to please, but it’ll get in the way of actually moving a relationship forward.
I’ve not had to really be worried about it before, as I don’t tend to meet many women that I would actually care to date. However, I’ve just become acquainted with a new gal that is just fantastic. After hanging out on the weekend for quite a long time and, I think, hitting it off, she called me tonight. I asked her out and she said that she’d like that.
I don’t want to jump ahead of myself. I mean, we’ve just met, but there’s a possibility I suppose that this could move forward and either sooner or later lead to an intimate relationship. I’d like to be prepared if I can.
Can anyone offer me any advice or reassurance that can help me deal with this?