Every time I meetwomen they say I am a nice guy then 15 min later they with they could meet i nice guy to go out with. HELLO! I’m right here. The best time to post this is not when I am drunk buy I NEED to KNOW. Why do women need to ddate people that treat them like dirt. Agian I appoligise but I have had a little to much to drink by my comp so if you must flame me do it, I understand.
Well, Nice Guy, lucky for you I’m quite capable of translating typographical errors.
Now, I, the great and malignant SPOOFE, will tell you why women (I’m being very generalized here, just so you know) prefer someone who isn’t a “nice guy”.
You see, people that women choose over we “nice guys” are generally percieved as “nice guys” themselves. However, these pseudo-“nice guys” have other qualities besides that of a “nice guy” (such as rippling biceps, chiseled face, access to drugs, whatever) that add extra “attraction points” to their personality*.
So if a woman tells you that you’re a “nice guy” and then goes out with someone else, it’s because you’re ONLY a “nice guy”, and the other dude is a “nice guy” and then some.
*Note: These extras to pseudo-“nice guys” usually provide potential of them being seen as “dickheads” at some point in the future.
I trust I make myself obscure.
Women like assholes because it’s a challenge. They want to take some fucking ignorant, misogynist SOB and turn him into a nice guy. They think they can turn him into the nice guy that they want.
I’m not saying this is true of all women. My best guess would be 60-70%
Think of if from a male perspective with, let’s say, houses. Say you’re a guy with an assload of cash, and you want to live in a certain neighborhood. Let’s also say there is a moratorium on construction in this neighborhood.
You have two options:
Option one: You can find the nicest house in the neighborhood and buy it. Money is no object. You can buy the nicest, most kick-ass house and everyone you know will ooh and aah over it.
Option two: You can decide that even though that house is really, really cool, it’s not everything you ever wanted in a house. So what do you do? You find the biggest piece of shit house you can find. Why? Because you’re going to gut that fucker and rebuild it just the way you always wanted your house to be.
Ultimately, if you go with option two you wind up broke, crazy, or both. After six months you’re pulling you’re hair out wondering why the fuck didn’t I buy that nice house?
While I hope this analogy has proved to be at least slightly useful to you, it certainly fails to explain why women repeat the process.
BTW, it helps to be able to construct a sentence in english before attempting conquest of the fairer sex.
Good luck in your quest for the elusive 30%
Damn Gatsby, I think your on to something! I have been pondering the same thing for some time now… I thought it would remain one of those mysteries of the univerese thing. But your theory is the best I’ve heard so far and does answer alot of my own questions. This is something that definatly makes you go hmmmmm…
So people like me are too perfect already? Hmm… I can buy that.
Now, how to be less-perfect… hmm… I guess I can lose 50 lbs, wear better clothes, sweat less, and stop being such an ass around people. 
Sound like a plan Spoofe, when do we start?
-Sam
Spoofe’s much closer to the truth than Gatsby. No woman wants to go out with a jerk (well, maybe a few do, but it’s closer to 10% than 60-70%). The problem is we aren’t very good at telling which ones are jerks and which aren’t - one of the top jerk characteristics being the ability to charm women into thinking you’re not a jerk - and even when the truth is spitting in our face we don’t like to acknowledge it. It’s called denial.
I met a nice guy. The salt of the earth. He is kind and honest, smart funny, a bit sarcastic. We like the same moies, games, we even eat our popcorn the same way.
He loves kids, my kids love him. My family thinks of him as family already. I am so nuts about him that its painful to sit in the same room with him and not wrap my arms around him.
The problem?
Well, he laments the lack of a woman frequently, but he appears to be pining for the Brittney spears type.
SO all you NICE GUYS: try looking past the dress size next time you search for a mate.
Looks are fleeting - personality lasts a lifetime.
Kelli, have you even bothered to ask this guy out, tell him your feelings, jump his bones, anything? Men tend to pine for the supermodels, but who they fall in love with is a whole differant matter. The truth is, most guys aren’t prepared to make the first move.
Just for the record, I don’t like guys who are assholes. When I found a nice guy I married him and have stayed married to him.
I know the feeling. I would have gone postal if I’d heard “You’re a nice guy.” or “I like you as a friend.” once more.
There are women who don’t seem to like nice guys. generally, I was finding more women who had already dated/married the psycho and had given up on the renovation project, so to speak. They were ready for a guy who was considerate and romantic from the word go, not one who they thought would be easy to train. Or who went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde a few months into the relationship.
It pains me to say this, but sometimes “Nice” equals “Boring”. Try getting out a little, get some experiences…some anecdotes. Got any hobbies?
Sometimes “Nice” can also mean “Doormat”. You can’t break your back doing everything for someone else. If somebody knows they can use you, they probably will. If they know they can use you, they won’t respect you.
A good way to at least meet people:Personal ads. There aer shitloads of them on the Internet, most are free, and they let you search the ads based on interests, looks, age, educational background, or whatever your criteria is. I met my GF through http://www.love@AOL.com (The only good thing with “AOL” associated with it).
Hey thanks for the info it really helped. I also can’t beleive how drunk I was last night. Qeez thsoe typos were scarry.
Just remember kids don’t Drink and Type
Hey Frank,
Actually, I did ask him out, we went to a movie, had a great time. The conversation was relaxed, sparkling even. the following weekend, he asked me, and again we went out. We had dinner at my brothers, and then another movie, I keep asking him if he wants to come in, he always says no. Last time, i was home at 9-bloody-30! He was going home to play everquest. He knows how i feel, because my brother and his wife figured it out, and they are his best friends.
and if he didnt clue in when I sang happy birthday to his answering machine, then he is stupid and I dont want him anyway.
I have given up on him. He will hook up with some slim pretty blood-sucking whore, who will destroy his self respect, and I will continue to adore him.
Fucker.
Gatsby is close. Women are challenged by the “bad boy” type and really think that if they could change just a few things, he would be the perfect man. And if the “bad boy” gives a woman the chance, she will try to change him. Once that process begins, the “bad boy” has two choices: One, he submits and allows himself to be changed or two, he resists, remains true to his nature and does not allow himself to be changed. If he chooses option number one, the woman loses respect for him because he allowed himself to be molded. If he chooses option number two, the woman soon begins to hate him because he is not her perfect man.
What’s the moral of this? I don’t know. But the above is based on lots of observation.
Do you actually know any women, Louis, or just the ones you see on TV?
Actually, that little riff is something I sometimes use to elicit vehement responses. Putting it in print is something I shouldn’t have done because the reader obviously cannot see my facial expressions. Verbally, it sometimes leads to interesting conversations but printed it is just dumb. Sorry.
Kellibelli sez:
Hey Kelli: bite me. No, really, bite me, I’m into that.
Seriously, I’m not sure how true or how false your characterization of “nice guys” is. I’m a NG in my own mind, at least, and enough women have characterized me thus that I think it is true, so let’s take me as an example.
I’m into petite women. By petite, I’m not talking about weight per se, it’s more about height, small-boned, small-breasted, etc. I’ve dated several non-pets in my time, but I keep ending up back with petites. Does this make me shallow? Probably, but maybe not.
I think there has to be something about a woman that makes you notice them. Say I were to end up with a 6’7", 250-lb. woman, who I find fascinating, loving, sexy, etc. What drew me to her in the first place? Maybe a killer smile. Is this shallow? Dunno.
OK, I’ll side with the guys for once.
Men do not have a monopoly on shallowness where looks are concerned. Kelli, I’m willing to bet that at least some point in your life there’s been a nice man who adored you, but you didn’t find him physically attractive. Maybe you weren’t even aware how he felt, but odds are it’s happened. There are very few (sighted) people out there who don’t base any of their attraction on looks.
I admit to being guilty of this myself although in my own defense I don’t tend to be attracted to guys who are super gorgeous (at least not the ones I know IRL) as experience has taught me that these are the ones least likely to be nice guys.
Actually my taste in looks runs from fat hairy men to short bald guys. Or scuzzy criminal looking types with tatoos. Or geeky ones - yummy!
I am really not into looks at all. Grooming yes, looks, nah.
I just find men (women too I suppoes) seem more likly to forgive HUGE personality flaws in someone who is ‘beautiful’.
The object of my affection wouldnt turn any heads, but I think he is stunning. His wit and smarts are way more appealing that Brad Pitt’s face.