As this board’s sole extant member of The Church Of Stan*, I’m open to all questions about my adherence to Stanism. Stan is my Master and I bend my will unto his. All hail Stan! His will be done!
*For the purposes of discussion, Stan is a 37 year old plumber from Papatoetoe.
How much does Stan charge for callouts? Papatoetoe’s a bit too far away from Chez Wolf, but I’m askin’ out of interest. Personally, I swear by a plumber named Trev.
Wellington people always told me that very weird things go on north of the Bombay hills.
They’re right. 
The First Book Of Stan teaches us “Jeez, mate, I’m booked up solid over Easter, and I’m taking the kids to Kelly Tarltons tomorrow. I could just about fit yez in tomorrow, but I can’t promise anything.”
Fear Trev. Trev is the AntiStan.
The First Lesson Of Stan is “She’ll cost a packet to fix, mate, but if ya can pay us cash and throw in a crate of Lion Red, we can forget the GST though, eh.” Praise Stan!
What are the Stannic Verses?
Do they have anything to do with tin?
My admiration for Trev and his works means I’m an AntiStanist? Coool! 
If Stan’s taking his kids to Kelly Tarltons – I’d say his chargeouts would be right up there, then. Nice concept there involving a bit of the folding stuff and brewskis, mind.
So – what was the event which made you realise that your life revolved around Stan and his van full of handy tools?
The Stannic Verses tell us that if you can square up Stan with a dozen tins*, he’ll see ya right.
*Lion Red, not DB: for DB is the brew of Trev, and shall be forbidden unto thee.
I first came under the sway of Stan and his Word when his Sacred Bedford pulled into the drive and yea, he fixed the flashing on the cylinder overflow which was leaking like a bastard into the hot water cupboard. Hail his works!
Oh.
Those Stanists.
As opposed to the ones that worship inside comics shops.
EXCELCIOR!
Repent your ways and come to Jesus*!
*28 yo Mexican gardener.
What are the main tenets of Stanism?
Follow-up: is Stan rent property? If so, who are the main tenants of Stanism?
Is plumbers crack some kind of religious statement or just a fashion faux-pau?
If Stan pleases the missus twice in one night, would that be the second coming of Stan?
I know of this Stanism in my youth. I was and still am engaged in a sacred morning and evening rituals in which I would imbibe your holy additive in my mouth, brushing vigorously, and expelling into the pious pit which exits forth through what plumbers called a “drain”. For this, O mighty Stan, I thank thee for thou (or is it the other way around?) most precious material: stannous fluoride. For this, my teeth of apatite still glow brightly and have repelled all but few of the amalgams of darkness and evil.
I was born of a Stan, am I bequeathed special powers?
Yes, you can rub your head & pat your tummy…at the same time! :eek:
PRAISE GLORIOUS STAN!
I think I went to school with Stan. He looked a lot like Buddy Holly, played the guitar, and was clumsy.
Was that him?
It is known of Stan’s chosen disciple, he that goes by the name of Brett, who doth carry upon his belt many tools, and doth travel far and wide across the suburbs within his chariot, the cherished Holden ute, gathering supplies, and sometimes, yea verily, maketh the tea.
Do you envy Brett his position of favoured son?
What’s the Church of Stan’s official position on copper vs PVC pipes?