Yes, you. Go fuck yourself. I am the coolest guy you will ever have. I show you the best time you ever had. Yes, there are other women, but that is not your business. Dumbass bitches.
I believe you missed the pit by that
—> <—
much.
Oh, and you are a dime a dozen. Got new bitches falling in love with me every day. Arrgh.
(I’m fully cognizant that this is probably a whoosh, but I’m going to pretend it’s not)
Perhaps it is your attitude towards women is causing your frustration. I sincerely hope you didn’t learn your interpersonal skills with the opposite sex from gangsta rappers marketed to suburban teenagers.
Look, sweetie, you would be lucky just to know me. Time to refresh my bitches on why they should be happy to be in my company. I actually cannot believe that they don’t get how lucky they are. And at this point I don’t really care! I have a great time on my own.
But why so angry? Surely they deserve your pity for having such poor taste in suitors; condemned to an empty life without the awesomeness of your presence.
I weep for them; truly, I do.
Damnit Sam, I TOLD you to stop RPing dates down by the doghouse in the backyard, what will the neighbors think?
Baby, you need to sign up for LifeAlert™. You’re going to be alone a long time, it would be a shame for you to ruin the carpet.
It sounds like pimpin’ got harder because hoes got smarter.
Ah, who to choose? Mr. Loverman Stan or Smoove B? Stan has everything a woman could want. A wonderful way with words, total respect for women and a gentle and loving nature-- plus a bunch of other bitches.
Smoove B has Lionel Ritche on the stereo and good wine-- not that cheap box stuff but the good stuff in a bottle. He told me he’d splurge and get bottled wine with a cork! I think I’ll pick Smoove.
Just got back from doing a quick ten miles on my carbon frame bike. Fractured wrist not bothering me too much. Four weeks out and it hurts a little, but it is healing nicely. Now, why should I care about a dumbass girl again? I forgot… Nice day today.
OK, dude – what’s going on? You’ve got, according to you, a river of women coming into your life, but you’re all hung up on one particular one.
Instead of giving us a torrent of bitter, how about sharing your story?
I love all my girls. They just need to STFU and get with the program. I had a cutie checking me out at the corner the other day, so there is always new fish in the sea.
I am not a conventionally attractive man, but I have a great attitude that makes up for it. I guess I am just kind of peeved that some of my women aren’t in line right now. Again, I seem to attract as many as there are out there, but I do actually care about two or three, ones I have been with for a while, and they need to get back in good order. It may be part of the problem that I have been messed up myself recently, but you would think that people you have loved and been with would back you up when the chips are down.
Whatever. I have a great relationship with my roomate, I guess you would call it a “Bromance”, and we get along good. I have known the guy for years, so Bro’s before Ho’s as they say.
Why do I get the feeling the Stan’s “roommate” is really his mom and he lives in her basement?
I learned the hard way that ho’s don’t like to be called bitches all the time no matter what NWA says. Try to mix it up a little to show them you have a big vocabulary. “Cunt” is an long-time classic. “Dame” is good if you want to sound sophisticated.
I’ll take Smoove B anyday. He’ll get me real chocolates, all the way from Paris.
I think he needs a hug. Or a punch in the face. Or best yet, a proper drink.
My mom died ten years ago, and we don’t have basements in Southern California.
At this point, I would be down with all three. 
Ok. Root cellar.