Well, this is simply my humble opinion, but here goes. I will agree with you that one cannot get through the day without hearing reference to “Gay”: Gay Rights, Gay Character on TV show, Gay Bashing, etc. But, and I don’t know your age, but if you were around during the great Civil Rights for Blacks upheaval during the 60’s, Or the Viet Nam War era and its op- & proponents, they too seemed ubiquitous subjects. It is, it appears, in some ways, time for the Lesbian and Gay community to sieze the moment…albeit in a nonviolent way compared to the two aforementioned subjects. I wonder if the Gay community should turn to violence (academically wonder, that is) since it helped in the anti war and Black Power struggles.That’s simply musing…please no angry responses…
Here’s the thing: Gay people do tend to get defensive for a number of reasons. First: If people meet/see on TV or Screen an actor they automatically (in most cases) assume that actor is straight. That’s not fair.
Second: If a very beautiful sexy woman or an incredibly handsome chick magnet actor were to announce their sexuality, their image would be very badly, perhaps irevvocably damaged. We all work for a living. Yes, people can understand that Harrison Ford is not really the President of the USA in Air Force One, but they are happy to suspend that knowledge to enjoy a film. Unfortunately, it is not like that for Gay actors. If actor X is in a mad, passionate love scene in a film,and is known to be Gay…the snickers and comments (She’d rather be (fill in the vulgarity) or He likes it up the…He’s a fudge packer…on and on, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.) If your Boss didn’t like people who enjoy a beer or two after work, would you volunteer that you chug a sixpack every night?
Third: They do have parents and sibs and friends. Perhaps they haven’t told them. It’s a personal decision.
Finally: You open yourself to ridicule, accusations, don’t hug my kids, OK? type of things.
I am a Lesbian.“But you’d never know.” Sorry, don’t mean to be sarcastic…but. Anyway, I have a very good job. I am not attracted to anyone in my company. The last thing I need is to be “out” in the ladies room while another woman is in there and hear her say, “Oh, it was like sooo gross! She was looking at me!” If you doubt me, I can assure you, I have seen many, many different examples of it. There are some people that have confided to a “friend”, of the Linda Tripp variety, and that friend will and does tell others…not maliciously, but I think mst often, as a way to show how /hip/ tolerant/ Liberal they are. It always (again this has been my experience) ends up with some trashy looking tart stating, “Ughhh! Did you see the look she gave me?”
Look, straight or Gay we all need to work. Gay people or friends of Gay people understand these things. Perhaps that is why they come across, or in fact are, defensive.
“The minuteyou settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Maureen Dowd